Rottura Dell'Alba
by Signora del Lupo
Summary: Sparkles? Cold pale skin? Controlling personality? No thanks... I'll stick with the hot, passionate, big-hearted werewolf on the motorcycle! Conclusion of the Twilight series after Eclipse. Rated T, possible future lemons/language/carnage.
1. Indecisions

**1. INDECISIONS**

(*Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, or any of the characters.)

I casually played with the delicate lace on my wedding dress, admiring how the full moon shimmered off the satin fabric. I was exhausted, but anxious as I closed my eyes and focused quietly on my breathing. I had been waiting for this moment for so long and had sacrificed so much. Now that the reward had been placed in front of me, I had to make sure it was something I still wanted. A pair of arms wrapped around my waist and I shivered as Edward pulled me against his bare stone chest. He rested his chin on my shoulder and I opened my eyes to find him watching me intently.

"Are you sure you still want to do this?" His intoxicating breath tickled my face.

I smiled and reached my left hand up to gently touch his cold skin, the brilliant wedding rings on my finger. "Yes," I stared into my husband's eyes. "Whatever I have to do to be with you forever." Once the words escaped my lips, I knew them to be true.

Edward inclined his head towards mine, tracing my jaw line with his lips and leaving tiny kisses down my neck. I could feel my pulse quicken as he lingered near my collarbone and took deep breaths of my scent. Suddenly his lips pulled back and he plunged his teeth into my neck, catching me as I collapsed against him. Instinctively I yanked on his hair at the shock of the initial pain and he braced against me as the blood began to flow. My heart pounded against my rib cage as the venom rapidly took its hold on the living tissue, and soon I was suffocating with the intense burning. I forced a scream out of my ragged throat as the fire ripped its way into my chest, wrapping itself around my heart.

I sat bolt upright in bed, gasping for breath and scratching at my skin. A pair of icy hands attempted to restrain me which only made me struggle more, until I realized the voice was pleading.

"Bella!? Bella, what is it!?" His angelic voice was in a panic, calling out to me in the dark. He wrapped me in his strong arms and held me against him until I stopped fighting and my breathing began to slow. "Another nightmare?" he kissed the top of my head.

"Yes." The pounding in my chest subsided as I realized the vivid transformation had only been a dream. I was still with Edward, not married, but still human.

"Same one as before?"

"Yes." I pushed off him and put my head in my hands, trying to shake the frightening images from my mind. My eyes had adjusted to the dark room and I glanced around in a daze at first, realizing that I had fallen asleep in Edward's room. The moon shown through the wall of windows and crept across the expansive bed, blanketing us in a silver shroud. Edward softly rubbed my back, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

"I'm alright," I reassured him after a couple of minutes. "It's just a lot of changes happening so quickly. The wedding and us moving away to college. And of course my becoming a permanent member of the family." I turned around and smiled at him. "I just need some time to process everything."

Edward seemed satisfied with my answer.

"I should get home," I reluctantly pushed myself off the bed. Charlie hadn't been thrilled when he learned of Edward's and my engagement, and I didn't want to give him any more excuses for his recent unpleasant attitude.

Edward drove me home in silence, holding my hand as I gazed out the window at the forest that flew past the sides of the car. I yawned absentmindedly, causing him to glance at me out of the corner of his eye.

"You sure you're alright?" He squeezed my hand.

"I'm fine," I smiled at him.

"I guess Alice has had a lot planned for you recently," he teased.

"A lot of late nights," I added with a sigh.

Edward glanced over again in my direction, concern on his face. "Bella, if this is not what you want, just tell me. Alice will get over it."

"No, it's not just the wedding." I paused and took the opportunity to take in his chiseled features as he parked the car in front of Charlie's house. Thankfully, Edward didn't question my silence.

"I'm sorry about the nightmares, Bella," he stroked the side of my face. "You know we don't have to rush into anything. Not until you're ready."

I smiled, grateful once again that he couldn't read my mind and see the other reason why I was beginning to question my current situation. He leaned over and kissed me quickly, and I struggled to ignore the stab of guilt I felt as I watched him gaze at me with unconditional love in his eyes.

"Meet you upstairs in a few minutes?" I rubbed his hand.

He unexpectedly looked down at my hand on his. "You're not wearing your ring," he stated.

"Edward, I'm not a ring person."

"I know." He didn't look up at me right away, and I cursed myself for being so foolish. It was only a piece of jewelry. A piece of jewelry that symbolized the end of my moral life.

"I'm sorry…"

"Why don't you get some sleep, Bella," I caught his sad smile. "I'll see you in the morning, you have a lot of work to do."

I groaned, imagining what new wedding planning activities Alice had to torture me with. I halfheartedly pushed myself up from the passenger side seat and stepped onto the curb, closing the door behind me. I leaned onto the side of the car and did my best pouting expression. The dark window slowly slid down on the Volvo and I caught Edward's amused grin.

"I don't like sleeping without you next to me," I sulked, hoping my guilt trip would work. "I don't like being alone."

Again, Edward misinterpreted my thoughts. "You're safe, Bella. I killed Victoria and the wolves took care of the rest. You have nothing to be afraid of."

I nodded. He was right about one thing. "Edward, I'm sorry about the ring," I repented.

"Bella," he chuckled. "It's not a big deal."

"But it is to you." I corrected him. "If you're going to be my husband, then I'd better get used to it." I watched a smile sneak across his face. "I'll wear it more, ok?"

"As you wish."

I smiled and turned to leave.

"Also, Bella," he hesitated. "You're not alone."

I turned and narrowed my eyes at him. "What do you mean?"

"I don't have to worry about you as much as I used to," Edward shrugged. "I knew he couldn't stay away for long."

My heart soared. "Jake?" I gasped, looking frantically over my shoulder and scanning the forest.

"He's been keeping watch over the house," I heard Edward's reserved voice behind me. "I can't imagine why, the danger is gone." I turned back around and Edward was shaking his head. "No, actually I do know why he's here. I don't like it, but as long as you're being looked after."

"He knows how I feel," I reassured him. "Goodnight Edward."

Upstairs I burst into my dark room and promptly stubbed my toe on the closest half-packed box sitting in the middle of the floor. I quietly closed the door so as to not wake Charlie and let the curses erupt. I sat on the edge of the bed rubbing my foot and looked around at what was left of my past four years in Forks. I had packed away everything I thought I would need at college, and Edward of course had planned to buy all new things once we were settled in Alaska. The walls of my room were bare and a stack of pictures sat on my dresser. I limped across the carpet and picked up the first photograph in the pile, the one of Edward and I. I still cringed over the undeniable difference between us, and my heart sank as I struggled over the fact that we still didn't look like we belonged together. Edward's exquisiteness next to my plain features and shabby appearance was still an issue for me. My only saving grace was that my skin wasn't too far away from his white granite complexion.

Lying just underneath that was a picture of Jacob and I, taken over at Billy's. A feeling of warmth rushed through me as I picked up the photograph of me and my best friend, and I couldn't help the smile that crept across my face. We were both sitting on the couch in the living room laughing at something on the television, Jacob's gaze on my face. Billy had managed to capture Jacob's radiant smile that I absolutely adored, but what held my interest was my own image. I looked at ease with Jacob. My smile was genuine and natural, without any sense of apprehension. We looked like a couple. I placed both pictures back onto the pile.

I ran a brush through my sleep-tousled hair and stared at myself in the mirror, surprised at the tightening knot in my stomach. The last time I had seen Jacob we confessed our love for each other, but of course I had ultimately chose Edward. I had been aware of Jacob's feelings for quite some time, but only recently had I realized that I shared those same feelings. I allowed my mind to wander back to that moment before the final fight with Victoria.

_He was everywhere. The piercing sunlight turned my eyelids red, and the color fit, matched the heat. The heat was everywhere. I couldn't see or hear or feel anything that wasn't Jacob. The tiny piece of my brain that retained sanity screamed questions at me._

_Why wasn't I stopping this? Worse than that, why couldn't I find in myself even the desire to want to stop? What did it mean that I didn't want him to stop? That my hands clung to his shoulders, and I liked that they were wide and strong? That his hands pulled me too tight against his body, and yet it was not tight enough for me? The questions were stupid, because I knew the answer._

_Jacob was right. He'd been right all along. That's why it was so impossible to tell him goodbye – because I was in love with him. In this moment, it felt as though we were the same person. His pain had always been and would always be my pain-now his joy was my joy._

With a stab of guilt, I opened up the nearest drawer of the bureau and stared at the engagement ring I had placed there. I remembered my earlier promise to Edward, but instead closed the drawer and decided to push domesticating myself to another night. I wandered over to the window and gazed out into the night, trying to recognize anything in the shadows. I pushed the window open and it creaked in the humid air, a slight breeze tossing my hair behind my shoulders.

"Jake?" I called into the darkness, wondering if he was still watching over me or if he had chose to move on. The only answer I received was the rustling of undergrowth and an owl's haunting call. I waited a few minutes, my excitement dwindling as I mulled over the realization that seeing me was too difficult for him. My heart ached that I couldn't give Jacob the love and devotion he deserved, but something else told me that I hadn't completely made up my mind yet. I pushed myself off the window and went to lay down on my bed when a soft whimpering sound made me turn on my heels. I felt a smile spread across my face as I rushed back over to the window and caught sight of a russet-colored wolf gazing up at me.

"You came back," I nearly cried. Jacob seemed to smile too as he sat back on his haunches. We continued to gaze at each other lovingly, and for a second I pictured someone coming across this scene: Juliet and her very hairy Romeo. Although Jacob was not my Romeo, he was Paris, and I knew in my heart that I still had a choice to make. Jacob suddenly shifted his weight and jumped into the forest, disappearing in the shadows once again. Before I could call after him again, the human form of Jacob re-appeared on the edge of the trees. His hair was cut short again and he gazed back up at me, hesitant.

"It's alright," I nodded and smiled at him. "Come up if you want."

Jacob didn't need any further invitation as he hoisted himself into the huge tree in the side yard. I quickly got out of the way as he gracefully leapt through the open window and landed in my bedroom. His massive form filled the room, and I was waiting for a point where he'd start bumping his head on ceilings. In my excitement, I jumped into his open arms and he hugged me tight against his chest. His familiar scent and unnaturally warm skin comforted me, and I sighed in contentment as he placed his arm under my knees and carried me across the room. He gently placed me on the bed, then hopped on the other side of me and propped himself up on an elbow.

"I missed you," I settled in close to him and he began playing with a strand of my hair.

"I missed you too." He stared into my eyes as my heart beat erratically.

"Why did you leave?" I could tell the question hurt him, but after I'd heard so much of his distaste for Edward's abandonment, I had been shocked to hear of his own disappearance. I watched him gather his thoughts for a few minutes.

"I received your wedding invitation," he looked down at his hands. "And _his_ note."

"Edward wrote you a note?"

Jacob nodded. "It was too much for me to handle and I just had to take some time to think. Part of me understands why Edward left you when he did."

I was shocked, but let him continue.

"When I was alone with my thoughts, I had myself convinced that it was dangerous for you to be around me. That I'm a monster. That it was better to put distance between us. And no matter how much it hurt me, you were safe, and that was all that mattered. Now I see how he felt."

He took my hand in his and replaced his gaze on my face, a serious look in his eyes.

"But I had to come back, Bella. I couldn't stay away long enough to allow someone else to replace the hole I had left behind. I focused on disciplining myself, to learn how to control my temper around you so that you'll always be safe with me."

"Jake," I sighed, as I reached up and softly touched his face.

"I'm not just going to walk away without a fight," he set his jaw. "I made myself a better man for you because I love you, Bella. And I'm not leaving knowing that you're making a huge mistake."

I looked deep into Jacob's eyes. "But what if I'm not making a huge mistake?"

Jacob seemed taken back by my question, his tough exterior fading a little. "What are you talking about, Bella?"

"Part of me understands Edward a little better as well," I explained carefully. "When he left me, he says it was for my own safety. For my own well-being. Even though it hurt me, it nearly destroyed him, but it was what he thought was best for me." I gently stroked Jacob's cheek with my finger. "I'm not going to deny that I've hurt you, Jake."

Jacob leaned against my hand, but kept silent.

"But I still keep you around because part of me needs you, and I'm afraid I've become selfish. I don't want to hold you back from your own life Jacob, because I realize you mean that much to me. And I want you to be happy, even if it's not with me."

"Bella, I'm here because I want to be," he argued, taking my hand from his face and interlacing our fingers together. "And don't you understand? I won't be happy _unless_ I'm with you."

I replaced my hand on my forehead, quickly running out of excuses. "Jake, I'm marrying Edward. I don't know what else to tell you except that I know what I'm doing."

Jacob was silent for a few minutes. "Then where's your engagement ring?"

I sheepishly looked down at my left hand, but I already knew its place in the drawer. "It's complicated," I met his gaze again, trying not to falter.

Jacob eyed me suspiciously. "Why did you bring me up here, Bella?"

I swallowed as he studied my face, and I tried to keep my voice steady. "I wanted to see you. Is there anything wrong with that?"

"There is when we both know how we feel about each other," he leaned closer to me. "And you're keeping me around even though you've told me I don't have a chance."

"You don't," I bluffed.

Jacob narrowed his eyes at me and smirked as I tried to hold my ground. "Then why do you keep checking out my muscles?" He winked and flexed a bicep.

I rolled my eyes. "You're the one who insists on walking around half-naked."

"Doesn't mean I should catch you staring at me because apparently you're spoken for," he teased.

"I am spoken for, which is why you need to be more respectful," I snapped back.

"You don't act like you are." He stared into my eyes and I began to lose my restraint. "I think you're reconsidering your options."

I let out an aggravated sigh, but I broke his gaze and my trembling breath gave me away.

Jacob smirked. "I knew it."

"Oh come on," I sat up and leaned against the headboard, crossing my arms. "You do this every time I see you, get me all hot and bothered and you start interrogating me about Edward."

"I never said anything about you being hot and bothered," Jacob sat up, his face inches from mine. "But now that you mention it, you are a little flushed."

My hands flew up to my face. "I am not!"

"Well you certainly are now," he teased.

I glared at him, struggling to regain my composure. "You know exactly how to aggravate me, Jacob Black."

He shrugged. "Admit it, Bella. We're perfect for each other."

I forcefully placed my hands on his shoulder and shoved him, but of course he barely moved. "Jacob, I want absolutely nothing to do with you!"

"You seem to get more violent when I point out things that are true," he mused, leaning even closer to me. "At least that's how I know I'm on the right track."

"I am not attracted to you, Jacob," I said through my teeth, my heart aching with each lie I told.

"Then why are you shaking?"

"I'm not shaking."

He held up my trembling hand in his and raised an eyebrow. "You can't use the 'I'm cold' excuse with me."

"Why are you harassing me with all these questions?"

"Why are you asking questions to avoid all my questions?"

Frustrated, I rolled off the bed away from him. I could only travel so far before I was stopped by the boxes, and I ended up pacing in a tight circle in the middle of the room. The walls seemed to be closing in on me. My stomach rolled as the weight of my uncertainty grew heavier, and out of the corner of my eye Jacob watching me suspiciously.

"Bella, what is it?" He asked carefully, moving to the edge of the bed with concern in his eyes.

I stopped pacing and looked over at him, fidgeting with my hands. "It's just a lot to consider, and I don't have much time left," I explained. "And the thought of saying goodbye to you-" My voice broke and Jacob was instantly by my side.

"You don't have to do this, Bella." He grabbed my shoulders to steady me. "You still have a choice."

"I know," I struggled to keep the sobs from building in my chest.

Jacob led me back to the bed and sat on the edge, his arms around my waist. Even with me still standing, he was at my eye level. "I'm sorry Bells," he held my face in his hands. "I didn't come over here to upset you. I missed you, and I just had to see you again. We can talk about something else if you want."

I nodded in relief. His hands left my face and slid down my arms, coming to rest on my hips again. The knots in my stomach grew tighter as I watched him hesitantly lean closer to me, his eyes on my face. Something in my mind screamed at me to step away from him, but my heart wouldn't let me move. Soon I could feel the heat coming off his skin as he lingered inches from my mouth. Again I thought back to our kiss in the forest, and for a fleeting moment considered the fact that we had already crossed that line. I had discovered a passion that I never knew I could feel because of Jacob's strength, how difficult could it be to just give in to him again? I pushed that thought out of my head instantly and tried to work on my fading determination.

"Bella, I told you before," he whispered, rubbing my cheek with his finger. "You've never been with anyone else but him. You're making a major decision in your life without taking advantage of another opportunity."

"What opportunity is that?" I shivered under his touch.

"Me," he leaned closer. "I'm right here. Just give me a chance."

"Jake, please," I whimpered as he rested his forehead against mine, his breathing heavy.

He smirked. "All you have to do is tell me no, Bells."

"No, Jake." My voice was barely audible.

"As you wish."

His lips brushed against mine for a second, and it was all I needed. With a defeated sigh I wrapped my hands around his neck and pulled him to me, kissing him like I may never see him again. Jacob happily responded to my surrender, intertwining his fingers in my hair and sighed contentedly. His lips were tender against mine, careful and uncertain at how far I would take this. Against my better judgment, I pressed myself to his bare chest as he took in a shaky breath. Jacob parted my mouth with his and his hot breath coursed through my throat.

As our passion intensified, I became aware that Jacob wasn't attempting to push me away like Edward always had. Jacob's arms held me tighter, his hands didn't hesitate to explore my body, and his ravenous kisses left me little time to take a breath. My heart pounded in my chest as I dug my nails into his skin, trying to get as close as I possibly could to him. Without breaking our kiss, Jacob shifted his weight so that he was kneeling on the middle of my bed and I followed willingly. He gently lay me down, settling himself on top of me and placed his lips tenderly on my neck. I struggled to inhale as he left a trail of kisses down to my chest, and without thinking I reached up and touched the top button on my blouse.

I gasped as Jacob seized either side of my shirt and ripped it open, sending the buttons flying in every direction. He quickly looked down at the sound of my shock and I recognized the desire in his eyes. He collapsed on top of me and cursed, his overheating skin against mine.

"Bella, I'm so sorry," he whispered next to my ear.

"Don't be, I started this." I tried to control my quivering voice as I felt his muscular chest press against me. I still lay underneath him clad in only a bra.

"But I should have the sense to stop you," his breathing was still labored. "You're right, I need to be more respectful of your wishes."

"But what about you? I should be able to-"

"You are my weakness, Bella." Jacob shifted his weight onto the bed and propped himself up on an elbow, gazing into my eyes. "No matter how physically strong I am, I cannot push you away when it comes to this." He paused near my mouth, still damp from our passionate kiss. "You are going to be the death of me," he whispered. With a groan he rolled across me and pushed himself off the bed, walking into the middle of my room.

I sat up and wrapped my torn sweater around myself, feeling embarrassed and full of shame. I hadn't realized that this was how I would act once I had gotten this far, and I wasn't sure if I had already done everything to push my best friend away. Jacob returned to my side and reached for me.

"I can't do this, Bella," he placed a hand under my chin and looked into my teary eyes. "Believe me, I _want_ to… But not here, not with your reservations and choices and _him_ on your mind."

I nodded against his hand.

"If this-If _I_ am what you want," Jacob brushed my cheek with a finger. "Then I'm yours."

"I know," I smiled sheepishly at him.

He smirked at my torn clothes and disheveled hair. "And you can't tell me that it's like this with him."

"Jake," I shot him a warning.

"It's ok, I don't want to know." He stood up and crossed the room, looking back at me. "Go to sleep Bells, honey," he crouched down on the window sill. "You still have a lot to consider." He smiled, then turned and leapt out of the open window, disappearing into the darkness.

I stared at the place where he had just been, the realization of the night's events hitting me hard. I couldn't decide what I felt worse about: How far I had allowed myself to go with Jake, or that I had been willing to go farther. I groaned as I collapsed back onto the bed, laying my tired head on the pillow that now smelled like Jacob.


	2. Options

_Thank you everyone for reading/reviewing Chapter 1! I hope it was to everyone's liking :) I'm still working on learning this site, and I'd like to read/review some of your stories... So in the meantime, here's Chapter 2!_

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**2. OPTIONS  
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I felt numb as I stared at my reflection in the full length mirror, trying desperately to push thoughts of last night out of my head. Sunlight burst through the floor to ceiling windows causing the lace on my dress to almost glow, the diamond accents winking in the warm light. Esme knelt down next to me and ruffled the lace on the bottom of my wedding dress. Alice stood a few feet behind me, taking notes and whispering to herself about changing aspects of the design. Framing me in the mirror were bursts of color from the hundreds of flower arrangements on one wall, and rainbow bridesmaid dresses on the adjacent wall. True to her form, Alice didn't disappoint when it came to planning a celebration.

Esme stood and gazed up at me, tears in her eyes. "Oh Bella, you look so beautiful. Edward is going to be so happy." She reached up and clutched my tiny frame in a tight hug.

I felt dreadful. As she hugged me I wondered if she could feel the scarlet 'A' burning into my chest. "Thank you," I pulled away from her, smiling and gazing back at my reflection. I ran my hand over the smooth satin fabric. "It's more than I could have possibly imagined. It's beautiful."

"Almost," Alice dismissed my compliment with a wave of her hand. "We're almost there, I just need to add a few more things."

'I think it's perfect,' I thought to myself.

The cut of the dress hugged curves that I didn't even know existed, and even though Alice apparently still had work to do, I couldn't deny that I looked radiant. I admired the delicate lace that wrapped around my frame and eventually tapered into satin, the hem covered in intricate beading. My long hair had been pulled back to show off the neck line and I turned to the side to admire the trail of satin buttons that flowed the length of the dress. For an instant, I wondered what Jacob would think if he saw me, if he would find me just as stunning.

I let out a frustrated sigh as I let my gaze fall to Edward's engagement ring that clung tight to my finger. I had been fidgeting with it, trying to get used to its weight on my hand, but the more I fussed with it the more it began to feel like a shackle around my whole wrist. I let my hands fall to my sides and struggled to leave the ring alone, although now my left side felt twice as heavy.

Alice crossed the room with a length of fabric, shaking her head at me. "Bella we're almost done, stop twitching." She wrapped the satin strand around my waist and tied it into a bow. She stepped back a few paces and looked at me.

"Alice, do you need this?" Esme held up a veil behind me.

"Not now," Alice shook her head. "We need to move on to place settings, but I like this so far." She made a circular motion in my general direction. "You're done, Bella."

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'll go check on Edward," Esme excused herself from the room, giving me a final wink at her departure.

As I went to step off the platform and gather my clothes, Alice startled me when she suddenly caught my arm. Her icy stare stopped me in my tracks, and she had an unusually firm grip on me.

"Alice," I trembled. "What is it?"

"It's you Bella," she looked deep into my eyes, but I couldn't comprehend what she was searching for.

I shook my head slowly. "Have you seen something?"

"That's just the problem," Alice whispered. "It's what I'm _not_ seeing. You, Bella. You keep disappearing and I can't understand why."

I felt my stomach drop. I had been trying to hide my struggle from everyone around me, but I hadn't counted on the one person I couldn't hide anything from.

"Alice, please don't say anything to Edward," I pleaded.

"Last night," Alice stared off into the distance, "I lost you for a couple hours. That's never happened before. What could he possibly do that would make you consider this other life for longer than 5 seconds?"

"Alice, I'm so sorry," I buried my face in my hands in complete shame. "I love both of them very much and I'm just trying to-" I felt my chest tighten and suddenly the lace neckline felt like it was choking me. "It's just everything's happening so fast," I clawed at the buttons at the back of my neck.

"Bella, calm down. Breathe."

Alice unbuttoned the dress quickly, and I could feel the color return to my face as the cool air hit my skin. I sank to the floor and sat on the edge of the platform. Alice settled down next to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, pulling me against her.

"I think you need to talk to Edward," she whispered after a few minutes and I could tell there was no feeling in her voice.

I sighed. "What am I supposed to say?"

"I don't know," Alice pulled away from me. "But you'd better tell him soon before we spend anymore time on planning this wedding."

My heart ached as I watched her avoid my gaze. "Alice, I'm sorry-"

"It's just you humans," she shook her head. "You change your minds so quickly. With us, when we find the right match, we just know."

"I wish it was that easy."

"It could be," Alice looked at me with an intensity in her eyes, and I knew what she was hinting at.

"Alice, if I'm still considering my options, Edward is certainly not going to change me any time soon."

"You're right." She seemed to hesitate for a moment. "Bella, Edward knows that you're the only one he wants to spend eternity with."

I cringed. "You're making me feel worse."

"Listen to me," she took my hands in hers. "But it's your life too. If this isn't what you want…"

"You know this is what I want," I held on tighter to her cold skin. "You know I love Edward, and I love you, and I want to be a part of this family."

Alice watched me take a breath and waited. "But…"

"But," I shrugged. "Jacob is my best friend, and I don't have to change anything about myself when I'm around him." I found myself start to smile. "It's nice."

Alice slowly shook her head. "So now you think you want to spent the rest of your mortal life with him?"

"I don't know that yet," I looked down at my hands. "But what I do know is that I'm finding it very difficult to accept something that I used to be so sure of."

***

"I'm glad you're wearing the ring."

Edward's voice startled me and I realized I had been staring off into space for more than a few minutes. We lay on my bed and I had taken my usual position underneath his chin, my head resting against his arm, and had been idly spinning the ring on my finger. I glanced up to find a concerned look on his face.

"I told you I would," I smiled reassuringly at him. I could tell there was something on his mind, and I knew he wouldn't let me avoid the confrontation.

"It looks beautiful on you." He reached down and gently placed the jewelry back in its original position on my finger. "You didn't answer my question."

"What question?" I braced myself.

He smiled innocently at me. "You haven't been listening to a word I'm saying, have you? How much work did Alice put you through today?" he teased.

"It wasn't too bad," I shoved against him playfully, hoping that I could ease the tension. "I'm sorry, what did you ask me before?"

"Seating arrangements," Edward answered innocently. "I assumed that your parents would be coming to the ceremony together, but did you want to give them the option of bringing a date?"

"Oh," I caught my breath. "I don't know, I'll ask them later." I burrowed into the covers against his cold body.

"Bella, are you sure everything is alright?"

I looked up at him and he didn't return my gaze. "Yes, everything is fine. Why do you ask?"

"You just seem distracted," he ran his fingers over the diamonds set in the radiant gold. "I know that you've had a lot on your mind and we haven't had many chances to be alone to talk about it."

I nodded and my heart jumped as he turned and kissed my forehead. I took the opportunity to respond by pushing myself off the bed and reaching up until I pressed my lips to his, pulling him to me. Before I could even begin to enjoy the sensation of his breath against my skin I felt him push against me, breaking our embrace.

"Not now, Bella," he untangled my arms from around his neck, and once again I felt like a scolded child. Someone that he was there to control, not to take care of.

I tried to contain the warm tears that pushed against my eyes, but Edward noticed a few sliding down my cheeks as I turned away from him. He hugged me close and kissed the back of my neck.

"It won't be much longer," he whispered against my skin.

"It's always on your time line," I muttered under my breath, knowing he'd hear me anyway.

I felt him sigh against me. "Bella, can we talk about what's really bothering you?"

A million options caught in my throat. I couldn't decide whether to bring up my hesitation towards our impending wedding, my realization that someone else now consumed my thoughts, or to remain silent and continue to smile while my heart was being ripped in half.

Edwards arms circled around my stomach. "You know I can't read your thoughts, but I can tell that there's something making you question your decision to marry me."

I winced, knowing that he was going to continue pushing me for answers. I struggled to come up with a reply but too much time elapsed and Edward's assumptions were confirmed. He sat up and I could feel his gaze burning on the side of my face.

"Is it because you have to become a vampire? Because you know I'm hesitant about that as well."

For a moment I pretended that was the only issue on my mind. Eventually I shook my head.

"Is it the fact that we're leaving for college soon and you have to say goodbye to your family?"

I groaned and pushed myself off the bed, wanting desperately to escape the situation. Edward took my distance the wrong way.

"Bella, if you want to wait a few more years, it's not a big deal," he watched me pace in front of the bed. "After the wedding we can just spend a few years together, and then when you're ready we-"

"It's Jacob," I suddenly blurted out. I turned and fixing my gaze on him.

"Bella," Edward seemed relieved, giving me a smile like I had been throwing a temper tantrum for no reason. He got up from the bed and walked over to me, taking my hands in his. "Jacob is your best friend. If this is what you really want, he'll see that you're happy. He can't stay mad at you forever, I know how deeply he cares about you. Now is this really what's been bothering you?" His amber eyes gazed lovingly at me, filled with support and devotion.

"No, Edward," I took a deep breath, agonizing over what he was making me say out loud. "My _love_ for Jacob is what's making me question our wedding."

Edward was silent for a few moments, his smile quickly diminishing. "But Bella, you told me that was over."

"I know. I thought it was," I looked down at the carpet feeling the shame rush through me.

"You said that you chose me over him."

"I did. You're right."

"But I just don't understand," Edward shook his head. "What happened recently that made you…"

Edward suddenly trailed off and his eyes glazed over. He seemed to be searching for something that wasn't in the room, and it only took me a few seconds to realize his sudden distraction.

Jacob always guarded the house at night.

The realization hit me the instant Edward's face went blank and he fixed his vacant stare on mine.

"…Oh."

"Edward, I am so sorry," I groaned, mortified at the possibilities of what Jacob was picturing. I watched in agony as Edward flinched, attempting to not let what he was seeing affect him.

"If that is what you want, I'll step aside," he said quietly.

Frustration suddenly took over and I pushed against his chest with all my strength. "That's not what I want! I want you to be mad at me for what I did because I deserve the punishment!"

"I can't do that Bella," he shrugged. "I can never be mad at you, no matter what."

"Damnit, Edward. Stop treating me like I'm going to break at any second!" I drew in a shaky breath to try and steady myself. "You're angry with me, and I'm right here. Don't hold anything back this time."

"What do you want from me, Bella?" His eyes stared through me, lifeless.

"I want you to fight for me! I want you to say that whatever he did you can do better!" I grabbed fistfuls of his shirt and held my ground, forcing him to look at me. "I want you to give me a reason to stop questioning what I know in my heart is right!"

Edward slowly reached up and loosened my grip on his shirt. "If it's right, Bella… Then why question it?"

I felt as if the wind had been knocked out of me. I let my hands drop to my sides and I realized I had no answer for him.

"He was right," Edward took a few steps back. "You haven't been with anyone else. Maybe it was selfish of me to force you to wear my ring."

"I went along with this, Edward," I felt a familiar tearing sensation in my chest. "You never forced me to do anything, I could have said no."

"Which is what you're saying now."

"I'm not," I stammered to validate my argument. "I just realized that other options are just as important to me right now."

"Which is why I am willing to give you some space, and allow you time to think." Edward walked past me and made his way to my bedroom door.

As the distance grew between us, I felt the old scar in my chest tear at the seams. It shocked me how much pain his absence could still inflict, but instead the sorrow had been replaced with anger. I looked over my shoulder. "So you're just going to walk away. Just like last time."

In my heart I knew I had gone too far, and Edward froze in his tracks. He regained his composure and turned to face me.

"Every decision I make is based on your happiness and safety," he growled at me through his teeth. "And if that decision takes me away from you, I can live with that, as long as I know that you're alright."

I turned around to face him. "Don't leave like this, Edward. At least talk to me about it, don't just leave me to figure things out on my own without so much as an explanation from you."

Edward's features crumpled in pain for a moment, then he glared at me. "Alright, you want me to be honest?"

I nodded, hoping that I would be able to handle what he was about to say.

"It makes me sick knowing he was here with you, kissing you, touching you…" He ran a hand through his hair, trying to hold back his fury. "You told me it was over between you and Jacob, and now I find out that you're willingly inviting him up here!? Bella, I can _smell_ him on your bed sheets!"

I stood motionless, watching the rage scald his amber eyes.

"I'm sorry," he turned away from me, trying to regain his composure. "But I have given you everything, and still that doesn't seem to be enough for you to marry me. Please understand why I have to leave."

I didn't have the words to stop him anymore as he turned to me one last time.

"I know that I've found what I've been waiting my whole life for," he stared deep into my eyes, and I saw the pain he wasn't attempting to hide. "Hurry up and figure out what the hell it is that you want."

By the time I had blinked, he was gone. Edward and I had never fought like this before, and the unanswered questions he left behind were unsettling. I dragged myself across the room and collapsed back onto my bed, dreading the fact that sleep wasn't going to be easy. With great sorrow, I slipped Edward's ring off my finger. I suddenly didn't feel like I deserved to wear it. I lay the ring on the bed next to me and closed my eyes, knowing my dreams would bring me the retribution I had been asking for.

The next thing I remember, I was standing in the woods outside my house. I had no idea how I got there, but I slowly became aware of the sensations that surrounded me. I sensed a change in the direction of the wind on my skin, the tiny hairs standing on end. I heard a creature scamper through the underbrush, only to realize the sound was coming from miles away. The smell of decay filled my chest. My world had been magnified a thousand times, and I felt strangely powerful. I looked down at my hands which were as white as granite, and just as hard. A thought presented itself in my mind and to test that theory, I took off running. It only took seconds for me to complete three laps around the house and I stopped at the front door, feeling exhilarated. I strode into the house, smiling to myself that Charlie had left the door open. He had probably been worried sick about me. Charlie was in his usual spot in front of the television in the living room and he hadn't even heard me come in. The telephone lay next to him on the couch, he had no doubt been calling everyone for any information on my whereabouts.

"Dad," I greeted him with a smirk on my lips, my voice startling me a little. It had a musical quality like wind chimes.

Charlie reeled at the sound, a look of rage mixed with astonishment on his face. "Bella!" He roared, pushing himself off the couch. "Where the hell have you been!? As he came closer to me, I smelled the blood that pumped through his veins. It didn't matter that it was my father who stood in front of me. I was thirsty, and every cell in my body fought for my survival.

"Doesn't matter where I've been," I chuckled, feeling no remorse at the fact that my father was in such close proximity to danger. I casually stepped around him to head into the living room.

"Like hell it does," Charlie snarled at me.

He grabbed my arm and I barely saw my hand move before it was wrapped around Charlie's wrist, snapping it behind his back. I heard the brittle bones shatter under my strong grasp. Charlie's screams of agony only drove my instinct further, and I crouched over his form as he slumped onto the floor, an agile predator circling her prey.

"Bella," Charlie gasped, staring up at me in awe. The color had completely drained from his face. "W-What happened to you?"

I shook my head slowly as I glanced down at the form of what I used to be. Human beings were weak, fragile, pathetic. I could now see the fear in Charlie's eyes as he came to the realization I was no longer the daughter he used to know. He watched me as I effortlessly glided to the couch and snatched up the phone from the couch, crushing it in my hand. Charlie watched helplessly as pieces of plastic rained down on to the carpet.

"Don't worry about me Dad," I threw the remnants of the phone to the side and positioned myself above him. "Edward will take care of me."

The color returned to Charlie's dazed features and he glared up at me. "I knew he had something to do with this, I told you to stay away from him! What the hell did he do to you, Bella!?"

I reached down and grabbed Charlie by his shirt collar, lifting him off the floor until I was staring into his bewildered eyes.

"Edward gave me exactly what I wanted," I smiled my wicked grin, showing off my concealed fangs. Charlie screamed again as I lunged forward and sank my teeth into the side of his neck.

I awoke to tears soaking my pillow as I gasping for breath. The sobs collected in my throat, choking me as I struggled to get air into my lungs. I sat up, breathing deep the cool air from the open window as I glanced down at my trembling hands. They remained my natural shade of pale. I wasn't a vampire, I was still my mortal self. Most importantly, the thought that I began repeating over and over in my mind, I had not been responsible for my father's death.

Slowly the air began to saturate my chest and I wiped the few remaining tears from my face, leaving my head in my hands. As my reality began to come back into focus, I gradually became aware of another presence in my room. I remembered the fight I had with Edward and quietly hoped that he had decided to stay. Terrified, I withdrew my hands from my line of sight and froze as I stared at the rocking chair across the small space. Edward was gone, but in his place sat another creature of his kind. One who's intentions I did not know, nor did I trust.


	3. Visitor

_Hey everyone! Hope you all like the new chapter! It's getting late, but I figured I'd post before bed... Reviews make me happy, especially when I'm stuck at work :D Enjoy!_

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**3. VISITOR**

The vampire stared at me with pity in her eyes, the full moon igniting her blonde hair with streaks of silver. She sat in the rocking chair at the foot of my bed silently watching my every move. I would have thought she was an angel if I hadn't already known she was lethal.

"Edward told me that you haven't been sleeping," she stunned me with her saintly voice. "Maybe you've already become one of us."

"Rosalie," I gasped, more for my comprehension than anything else. "What are you doing here?"

"Good to see you too Bella," she sneered.

"I-I'm sorry," I corrected myself. "I'm just surprised to see you."

Rosalie shrugged and remain seated across from me. "I think you know why I'm here," her eyes studied my face.

I nodded slowly, a little apprehensive about hearing what she had to say.

"Actually, I wanted to congratulate you Bella," Rosalie seemed to smirk. "You're braver than I thought."

"What do you mean?" I could hear the caution in my voice.

"Standing up to Edward," a smile spread across her beautiful face. "He can be pretty persuasive, but at least you finally saw through all his bullshit."

I sighed. "I guess you talked to Alice."

Rosalie nodded. "Of course she's upset, but I'm just glad you're finally thinking of your own needs for once instead of submissively listening to him."

"I'm sure that's not the way he sees it," I groaned. "He probably thinks I'm content with picking fights recently."

"Oh well, he needs to get used to you having an opinion," Rosalie brushed off my concern. "It's your life too, Bella. And you don't need a babysitter, I'm pretty sure you can take care of yourself."

I frowned. "But Edward only wants what he thinks is best for me."

"And how does he know what's best for you?" Rosalie's brow knitted as she looked at me. "Yes Edward loves you, but ultimately he's only thinking about himself."

"I don't feel that way," I said under my breath.

"Bella, he's acting like any other 17-year old would, with exactly the way his young mind processes everything." She sighed, looking off into the distance. "You and I are the same age. Our priorities are materialistic and shallow, driven by immaturity," a smile tugged across her face. "Especially mine." She fixed her gaze back on me. "The older you get, the more your priorities will shift. Sooner or later, they most likely will not align with Edward's."

"I don't see how that could happen," I said in disbelief, slowly shaking my head.

"It doesn't happen overnight," Rosalie continued. "But one day you wake up, and everything has changed. Your views, your beliefs, everything that made you who you are."

I suddenly found it difficult to catch my breath. "Rosalie, how do you know this if your life was frozen at eighteen?"

I watched the pain flash in her eyes, but she quickly composed herself. "You're still human, Bella. Even though your time on this earth will be so brief, you will go through so many phases. Once we became vampires, our beliefs, our morals… Everything that made us human froze along with our hearts. Nothing in the outside world affects us, we become as permanent as stone. I believe that's why Edward says we lack souls, because we cannot feel anything anymore."

Rosalie paused and seemed to collect her thoughts, then continued.

"I remember having to watch friends of mine find the one who made them a better person. They knew who they were, and it only made their companion love and respect them more. Unfortunately, I made the shallow decision of choosing Royce when I was still alive. If I had only known what little time I had left…" She trailed off and shifted her gaze down to her lap.

"What about Emmett?" I asked.

Rosalie looked up at me and smiled sadly. "Emmett is perfect for me. Perfect for my vanity, and I'm perfect for his ego. There's nothing more to it than that."

I felt my tenacity begin to dissolve as I took her words to heart. "This is why I wanted to become a vampire. So that I wouldn't grow any older."

Rosalie sneered. "And just avoid the whole issue by remaining eighteen forever, is that your solution, Bella?"

"…Yes," I whispered.

"And give up everything else that every other girl your age spends their entire life waiting for," she lowered her eyes at me. "Just to join our family."

A lump caught in my throat as I thought of the life I was walking away from, plus the life I would be leaving behind.

"I know how much you care about us Bella," Rosalie's voice cut into my thoughts. "But if it means you making a mistake that you will regret for eternity…"

I felt the guilt churn in my stomach. "But Carlisle. And Jasper. And _Esme_," I groaned, putting my face in my hands again.

"Bella, don't do this to yourself," Rosalie stood and crossed the room, coming over to sit on the edge of my bed. "You worry too much about pleasing other people."

I looked up at the genuine concern on her face, which helped ease the tension I felt due to her close proximity. "But I don't want anyone to get hurt," I whimpered.

Rosalie shook her head at my useless worry. "So then what happens if you stay with Edward?"

I stared at her as she waited for my reply. When I didn't catch her hint, she answered for me.

"Then Jacob gets hurt," she pointed out. "That's life, Bella. I know you're too young to grasp all this but trust me," her eyes became dead again as she gazed at me. "There are no such things as happy endings."

I flopped back down on my pillow. "There has to be a better way.".

"It's simple," Rosalie stated. "If you want to live, then choose Jacob. And if you want to die, then the choice is Edward."

"It's not like that," I argued.

Rosalie turned her body towards me on the bed and glared at me, and I worried that I had offended her again.

"Like I told you before," she growled through her teeth. "I didn't choose this. I never had a chance. Someone made this choice for me and it was the wrong one. My life was taken from me by monsters and then I couldn't even die in peace! Now _I'm_ the monster!"

I swallowed hard.

"Look Bella," Rosalie collected herself. "I know everything was perfect in the beginning. Our family welcomed you with open arms and I saw how happy you were with Edward." She sadly shook her head. "But once you choose this life, you can't take it back."

"I know Rosalie," I sat up again.

"Just listen to me," she continued. "I know you wouldn't think about this now, but in 500 years when it's still just you and Edward, and it will always just be you and Edward, is that going to be enough?"

I opened my mouth to respond.

"And don't give me that 'as long as I'm with Edward' crap, I'm asking you to give this serious thought."

After she took the reply out of my mouth, I decided to stay quiet.

"Bella, Jacob can give you things that Edward cannot," Rosalie put her hand on mine. "Like a family."

I shuddered under her cool touch as I watched her fight back tears.

"I would give anything to be a mother," Rosalie continued. "Don't throw this away because of a teenage infatuation. You have no idea what you're giving up Bella, and you deserve to be happy."

I stared at her with hope in my eyes. "Thanks, Rosalie. It means a lot to me that you would take the time to speak to me about this. I'd like to say that…" I hesitated. "…That maybe you don't hate me anymore?"

I watched Rosalie process my question for a moment. "I'll be honest with you, Bella. I do not want you to join our family, and you know that this has always been my position."

My heart sunk and I looked down at my lap in disappointment.

"Because," she continued. "The girl who gave my brother so much happiness deserves better than this. She deserves everything that I never got to have. She deserves to live."

I looked up at her and smiled. "I understand what you're saying, Rosalie. I promise, I'll take in everything you've said before I make my decision."

"Also," I was surprised to see the genuine compassion in Rosalie's eyes. "I would imagine this advice would also be coming from your own mother, but since she doesn't know the entire situation," she shrugged. "I figured I would step in."

I smiled warmly. "Thank you, Rosalie. I'm grateful to have you on my side."

Rosalie seemed satisfied, and pushed herself off the bed. "Emmett and I are planning on getting married," she glanced at me over her shoulder.

I grinned at her. "Again?"

"Yes," she rolled her eyes. "We're long overdue for another wedding."

I watched her pause for a moment and the pain returned to her porcelain features as she glanced at me again. "It's the only thing I have to look forward to in my life, Bella."

I sighed, not knowing what to say to her. Just then a thought struck me, I felt pity for Rosalie. I felt pity for the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, pity for the life she would never live, and one that I had been willing to give up so quickly. I opened my mouth to try to comfort the hurt look that was spread across her angelic face, but I knew there was only one thing she wanted me to say, and I wasn't sure if I was ready for that yet.

In the awkward silence, she changed her tone and the smile once more tugged at the corners of her mouth. "Anyway, I would like to extend an invitation to you once we decide on a date."

"I'd love to come," I beamed at her. "Although…"

Rosalie caught my hesitation. "Regardless of your choice, Bella. I'd still like you to be there."

I smiled and nodded.

Suddenly Rosalie seemed to freeze, listening for something I had no hope of hearing. She quickly looked at me and smiled, the anguish gone from her ivory features. "I'll see you soon, Bella," she whispered in her heavenly voice. "Good luck."

The knock on my bedroom door made me jump and by the time I composed myself, Rosalie was gone. My rocking chair sat empty.

"Bella?"

"Yeah," I called as Charlie poked his head into my room.

"You awake?"

I smiled. "Obviously, Dad."

Charlie crossed the room and came over to sit on the edge of my bed where Rosalie had been only a few minutes before. It was then that I noticed the slight dark circles under his eyes, his skin pale.

"Dad, are you okay? Why are you up so late?"

"I'm just worried about you," Charlie turned towards me. "I know we don't have much time to talk since you and Edward spend so much time together, and I wanted to have some time with you before you head off to college."

My heart ached as he shrugged.

"I just can't believe you'll be leaving again, and I'm really going to miss you. Everything in my life has been so much brighter ever since you moved to Forks."

"Dad," I sat up and hugged him, fighting back my own tears. "I'm glad I came out here to live with you."

"I don't mean to get so sentimental," his voice cracked over my shoulder. "It just hit me that it's time for you to move on." Charlie pulled away from me and quickly wiped his eyes, taking my hands in his. "But this is what parents are excited for. We want you to venture out into the world and make a life for yourself, and I just hope that I've given you enough love and support to put you on the right path."

I smiled. "Don't worry, Dad. You did good."

Charlie beamed. "I know I did, because I'm so proud of the woman you've become." He put his hand on the side of my face.

I leaned into his embrace, and watched his gaze look past me at something on the bed. Charlie reached down and picked up Edward's engagement ring that still lay on the pillow next to me. He studied it for a few seconds, then looked back at me. "Everything alright, Bells?"

"Yeah," I sighed, taking the ring from Charlie and putting it back on my finger. "Just a lot of changes," I kept my gaze down. I heard Charlie take a breath, then heard him exhale slowly as he chose his words carefully.

"Bella," he hesitated. "I'm sorry that your Mom isn't here. I'm sure she'd be a better person to talk to about all this."

"Dad it's ok," I smiled at him. "I know you're here, and that's enough."

"And you know you can talk to me about anything that's bothering you, right?"

I tried to not physically cringe when I thought about how much I was keeping from my father. "Yes, Dad. I know."

Charlie glanced down at the engagement ring on my hand and slowly shook his head. "I'm trying, Bells. I really am."

My stomach tightened as I thought about having to walk away from my father forever once I became a part of the Cullen family. Charlie's apprehension towards accepting Edward as a son-in-law seemed in vain, since I knew Edward held little concern about Charlie's approval. We both knew Charlie wouldn't be in our lives for very long.

"I love you Dad," I leaned forward and hugged him close, not knowing how many more opportunities I had.

"Love you too, Bells." Charlie seemed satisfied with our discussion and picked himself off my bed. "Go back to sleep now, I promise I won't bother you again."

"Goodnight." I burrowed back under my covers and watched Charlie traverse carefully around the miscellaneous boxes strewn about.

"I'm going over to Billy's tomorrow night to watch the game," he paused by the door.

"You mean tonight," I corrected him.

"Yes," Charlie grinned. "Tonight. Will you be alright by yourself for dinner."

"I think I can manage."

The next day I was grateful to have no plans and a quiet evening alone. I slept clear through the morning and when I finally awoke, my eyes slowly adjusted to the early afternoon shadows. As I went to stretch and get up, I became aware that my entire body ached. Exhaustion hit me again and instead I closed my eyes, blocking out the dim light and instantly fell back into a dreamless sleep. Vague memories of the shadows negotiating a path across the carpet were burned into the back of my eyes as I would wake up and roll over again, too fatigued to get out of bed.

The downstairs door closing and the lock sliding into place were what finally woke me up. I blinked open my eyes, trying to decipher where I was. Night had fallen again and the shadows had dispersed, blanketing my room in darkness save for the sliver of light creeping underneath my door from the hallway. I remembered Charlie was spending time with Billy tonight, and with a sudden pain in my heart I realized I had nowhere to go, no one to talk to. As far as I was concerned, Edward and I were barely on speaking terms. Jacob also hadn't spoken to me in a few days, and I was sure he was becoming fed up with waiting for me to make up my mind. Knowing that visiting either of them would only stir up more questions, I rolled over with a groan in hopes that I would slip into another peaceful slumber.

I sat up in bed, a new smell drifting into my room. I knew Charlie had left for the evening, and even if he hadn't, there wouldn't be such a delectable scent coming from downstairs. I stretched and pushed myself out of bed, putting my feet on the cold floor. I cautiously opened my bedroom door and caught the faint sounds of something sautéing on the stove, along with the gentle melody of classical music. I tiptoed down the stairs and peeked my head around the corner, surprised to catch the image of Edward standing over the stove. I knew he heard me come down the stairs, but he finished adding seasonings to the sizzling pan before he turned around to face me.

"Hi Bella," he smiled shyly at me.

I glanced around at the romantic scene that had been laid out before me, complete with a bouquet of roses in the center of the dining room table. "What's all this for?" I stared at him in awe, crossing my arms over my chest.

"An apology," he walked across the room and stood in front of me, captivating me with his stare. "For the way I acted last night."

I shook my head. "I deserved it."

"No," Edward gently took my hands in his. "I overreacted, and I'm sorry. It will never happen again, Bella."

I shifted uneasily. "Edward, we had a fight. It happens."

"I will never cause you distress again. I promised you, and I intend to hold myself to that," his warm hazel eyes stared into mine.

I caught the heavy guilt in his voice, but I allowed him to lead me over to the dining room table. He let me go and I sat down to watch him finish preparing my dinner. He took a pot off the stove and stirred its contents into a large serving bowl.

"I thought you didn't eat food." I pointed out.

"Doesn't mean I don't know how to cook," Edward glanced over his shoulder and smiled at me. "I can read a recipe, Bella."

I shrugged as he brought the steaming bowl of pasta over to the table and set it down in front of me. I breathed in the delectable scent of the thick tomato sauce and watched him place cutlets of chicken on another plate. He turned off the stove and brought everything to the table, arranging the plates of food in front of me. Without a word, he set the chicken parmesan on the plate in front of me and added a scoop of the angel hair pasta. He then finally sat down across from me and smiled, content with watching me eat. I picked up my fork, unable to wipe the smile off my face.

"Thank you, this looks wonderful."

"You're welcome," he continued to gaze at me.

I took a bite of the chicken, nodding to him in approval. I hadn't realized how hungry I was.

"How was your day?" Edward asked out of nowhere.

I stifled laughter. "Where did that come from?"

"Just making polite conversation," he answered innocently, striking a match and lighting the candle in the center of the table. "Isn't this what normal dinner conversation consists of, me finding out about your day?"

"Edward," I shook my head. "Don't concern yourself with being normal, it doesn't suit you. That and nothing exciting ever happens to me, at least nothing that's worth bringing up in a casual conversation."

"That's not true," Edward continued to watch me. "I'm always interested in matters concerning you, even if you don't find it significant."

I continued eating and took a sip of my soda, looking over the glass at him. An unfamiliar feeling crept over me as I gazed across the table at Edward, and suddenly I didn't have so much of an appetite. I tried desperately to block out the words that Rosalie had said to me earlier, but my stomach tightened as I began to realize that Edward's presence in my kitchen, my proximity to his cold skin, even his stunning features that used to dazzle me all seemed to feel routine. I set the glass down, realizing that my hand had begun to tremble and focused on pushing the unknown fears from my mind.

"What did you do today, Edward?" I obliged him, choosing to avoid his original question.

He seemed to set his jaw, mulling over my inquiry. He broke my gaze for an instant, no doubt deciding whether to get to the point or play the game that I was willing to take part in. "I couldn't find Rosalie last night," he finally stated, watching my expression change.

I set my fork down. "She stopped over here last night," I met his piercing gaze. "We talked for a while, then she left when Charlie got up in the middle of the night."

"Everything alright?"

I met his cold stare. "I didn't make out with her if that's what you're implying."

"Bella…"

"Yes," I watched him search my eyes for more answers. "We seem to get along better these days."

"More things in common now I guess," he continued to glare at me.

I raised an eyebrow. "What are you suggesting, Edward?"

"I'm not suggesting anything," he backed off. "I'm just asking because you and Rose have had a rough history."

"Hopefully that's in the past," I explained as I resumed twirling another forkful of spaghetti. "We had a nice time last night." I slowly chewed another mouthful of food, watching Edward as he waited for a further explanation from me. When I offered nothing, he leaned forward and placed his elbows on the table.

"Is there anything else you want to tell me, Bella?"

I thought for a moment. "Is there?"

"Well the last time you chose to not tell me anything, I find out later that you and Jacob-" Edward cut himself off with a snarl.

"Really, Edward?" I snapped. "We're going to go through this again?"

"No, because I forgave you for that," his jaw tightened, but he still forced a smile. "You're only human you know."

"What has that got to do with anything?"

"Bella please," he shook his head slowly, giving me the usual spoiled child lecture. "Let's just enjoy the evening together."

"But you act like I've done something wrong when I'm only following my feelings. You know how much Jacob means to me."

"I know," he smiled genuinely at me, which only annoyed me more. "You need time to think."

I bristled at his pompous attitude. "Edward, I'm growing tired of talking about this. I know you've had an eternity to find someone, but please understand that I haven't had the same amount of time. I'm still so young, and I'm beginning to feel like you're rushing me into things."

Edward responded by lowering his eyes from mine and sitting quietly, choosing to no longer argue with me. My irritation subsided as I watched him hide the painful look in his eyes. I scrambled for something else to say, but didn't have much left.

"I love you, Edward." I sighed as he kept his gaze on his lap, becoming as fixed as stone. If he had decided on punishing me, at least I would sit here with him. "So much for giving me space," I mumbled in irritation, taking another forkful of spaghetti.

"I thought you wanted me to fight for you," he looked up at me from the table.

I stopped chewing, letting everything gradually sink in. "Wait. This was a bribe? This whole thing?" I dropped my fork and waved my hand over the kitchen.

Edward seemed confused. "I thought this was what you wanted."

"No!" I pushed away from the table, completely fed up. "This is not what I meant at all! Were you even listening to me!?"

Edward stood up and began to walk around the table towards me. "Bella, calm down."

"I've had enough of this," I slowly backed away from him. "I don't feel like any of this is for me anymore, it's for your own agenda."

"There is no agenda but you," Edward caught up with me and grasped my shoulders. "I told you before, you're the most important aspect of my being. I don't make a decision unless I determine it's the best course of action for you."

"Well, maybe I need to be taken out of the equation," my voice came out weaker than I expected and I swayed on my feet. "Because I'm not happy with the current results."

Edward stared at me, unable to find the words. I could feel his icy grip leak through my shirt and goose bumps rose on my upper arm. "Is that really how you feel?" I heard his voice crack and my resolve wavered.

"I just," I struggled with words. "I'm just starting to worry about other things."

"You know I will always take care of you Bella," his eyes seem to plead with me. "Whatever you need, whatever we need, I have the money."

"It sometimes takes more than just money, Edward."

My heart sunk as I waited for the look in his eyes to change, but as he started at me in confusion I realized he had no other answers. I loosened my grip on him and took a step back.

"Look, I'll clean up this mess in the morning," I glanced over at the dirty dishes in the sink and my half-eaten dinner still on the table. "I'm just going to bed," I squeezed his hand and let go, leaned forward for a kiss. "Good night, Edward."

"Good night."

Edward's lips captured mine more quickly than I was expecting. He pulled me against his cold skin with more eagerness than he had allowed himself before, and soon I realized he was pulling us both to the stairs. I managed to push myself away from him long enough to catch my breath.

"Edward, what are you doing?"

He responded by tilting his head and placing tender kisses down my neck. "Giving you what you want," he whispered, his breath cold against my skin.

My heart pounded in my chest, but I forced myself to stand my ground. "No Edward," my voice trembled under his touch. "I can't do this."

"Why not?"

"Because," I took a deep breath. "This isn't what you want. You're just doing this because..."

I felt his body go rigid against me, and knew I didn't have to give him any further explanation. He slowly backed away from me and the glare he gave me shot ice through my veins as he dropped his hands to his sides. "Seems like you've already made your decision."

"I haven't," I shook my head. "But you're not helping your case by the way you're acting."

Edward looked as if he wanted to protest more, but decided against it. "We leave for college next weekend," all emotion gone from his voice. "I hope you have everything figured out by then." Without another word he turned on his heel and headed towards the door.

"Edward," I stammered before I could think of what I wanted to say to him.

He stopped and slowly turned around, casting his lifeless eyes on my face.

I shrugged. "Thanks. For dinner, I mean."

"You're welcome," he hesitated for a moment before turning around and continuing on his path towards the front door. Before I could form another thought to make him stay, he was out the door and closed it behind him, leaving me in the empty kitchen with the candlelight flickering. Feeling completely numb, I gathered my dishes together, dropping them into the sink along with the cooking pans. I heard a couple plates shatter. I knew I couldn't summon the strength to clean everything, and would explain everything to Charlie in the morning. As I made my way out of the kitchen, I extinguished the candle.

* * *

_FYI... Getting the titled centered, and in bold text took me 45 minutes. My boyfriend finally took over once the curses began erupting and I threatened to launch my laptop off our 2nd story balcony. He fixed it. He's seriously proud of himself at the moment :/_


	4. Choice

_I was way too excited to post this chapter - It's my favorite one so far! (I think you'll all figure out why very soon...) Plus, I wanted to post this before the holiday craziness began... Enjoy!_

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**4. CHOICE**

I was awake hours before the dreary morning light crept into my window and lay across my bed as I lay staring at the ceiling. I felt empty inside, dead. Edward had never returned last night, and my room was eerily still without his presence. I slowly went over the details of the previous twelve hours in my mind. The unusual numbness I felt towards Edward terrified me and I thought back to what Rosalie had warned me about, that my feelings would change. That I would mature and surpass Edward, but I hadn't realized that some of these changes had happened already. I knew I still loved Edward, but the way my heart used to flutter at his presence, and even the way his crooked smile used to make my knees weak didn't have the same effect as they used to. I looked around at the packing I still had to do, but could not summon the motivation to finish it. I decided then that I needed to leave. I didn't want to be reminded of the tasks I was being forced to do, and I couldn't spend another moment in-between the four walls of my room. I hoped that a little fresh air would give me some perspective.

I knew where I was going before I gathered the strength to pull on my jeans and a sweatshirt and brush the hair from my face. I slipped Edward's engagement ring off and dropped it into its usual drawer. I paused for a moment, realizing that I no longer felt the twinge of guilt at the sound of its weight hitting the wooden box. I tip-toed past Charlie's room and picked up speed down the stairs, grabbing the truck's keys as I headed out the door. I halted in the kitchen when I remembered the dinner Edward cooked for me last night and the mess I had left in the sink. Everything had been washed and put away and judging by the cleanliness of everything, Charlie hadn't been the one responsible. The red roses still sat in the middle of the kitchen table. I considered them for a moment, wondering if I should deposit them in the garbage, not wanting to stare at another reminder of my dilemma. Instead, I continued to head out the door. I grimaced as my truck roared to life in the peaceful stillness but I managed to get it in gear and crawling down the street before Charlie would be able to get out of bed.

A heavy morning fog was beginning to lift as I made my way through the town of Forks on my way to La Push. I set the wipers to intermittent to clear the fine mist that was beginning to cloud the windshield. The occasional swipe across my line of vision helped me keep focused on the road. I had no idea what I was planning on saying to Jacob once I stood in front of him, but I needed to know everything was alright between us. Even to just be near him and see his reassuring smile would calm my unsteady nerves. Whenever Jacob smiled at me, everything seemed to make sense. I was so lost in my thoughts that eventually headlights from another car flashed in my rear view mirror and I realized I had been traveling below the speed limit. For a moment I worried that Alice had caught on to my plan and warned Edward, but when I glanced behind me again I was relieved to see the grill of an unfamiliar pickup truck. I refused to force the accelerator down any more, and once I got to a passing lane the other truck wasted no time in roaring past me. Soon his taillights were out of sight and I was alone again.

All too quickly, Jacob's house came into view and I hesitantly slowed the truck. For a moment I considered driving past and taking more time alone to think, but I knew my approach hadn't been subtle. I pulled in the driveway and killed the engine, waiting for Jacob to appear on the porch. A few minutes past and the house barely stirred. My willpower began to diminish, maybe Jacob had been more upset with me that I thought. The silence and the emptiness began to get to me as I scrambled out of the truck, closing the door behind me. As I made my way to the house I heard the front door open, and I tried not to let the disappointment show on my face as Billy came into sight.

"Good morning," he smiled, seeming way too cheerful at such a time of day.

"Morning Billy," I stood at the bottom of the stairs. "I apologize for the early hour."

"No problem," he backed out of the entrance. "Come on in."

I followed him into the warm house and closed the door behind me. Before Billy spoke, I knew he was alone as well.

"Jake's not here," he pivoted in the small kitchen to face me. "Did you need to speak with him, or did you just want me to let him know that you stopped by?"

I shifted uneasily and thought about avoiding the entire conversation, but I held my ground knowing that I would only be prolonging my suffering. And Jacob's. "I'd like to speak with him, if that's alright. Do you know when he'll be back?"

Billy shook his head. "He should be gone a while I would think, left early this morning."

"Do you know where he is? I could meet him somewhere."

Billy seemed to hesitate and I watched him try to hide a smirk. "Yeah, I know where he is."

Without an explanation, he turned and picked up a pad of paper and a pen. He then made his way to the dining room table and began to draw me out a map. I watched over his shoulder, a million thoughts running through my mind. There was obviously something else that Billy wasn't telling me, and I worried what it had to do with Jacob. Soon Billy turned back around to face me, handing me the makeshift map. I studied it for a moment while forcing the questions to my lips.

"Just head back out to the main road," Billy spoke first. "I labeled as many of the streets as I could remember, but that one road you just have to go by the landmarks." He seemed content with the information he gave me even as I continued to stare at him, waiting for more.

"Billy," I asked cautiously. "Where am I going?"

"Don't worry Bella," Billy smiled. "I'll give Jake a call and tell him that you're on your way."

I held my ground. "But what's going on? This is in the middle of nowhere."

Billy opened his mouth to say something, then let out a sigh. "I'd rather let Jake tell you, Bella." His eyes seemed to plead with me to not question him further.

I felt my heart beat in my chest. "Billy, if Jacob's in trouble, or if he's doing something to infuriate the Cullens-"

"Bella, Jake isn't in trouble," his warm smile calmed my nerves as he slowly shook his head.

"Oh," I felt silly and glanced back down at the map in my trembling hand.

I heard Billy chuckle. "Bella, Jake bought a house and he's fixing it up. Those are directions to his place."

I gazed up at him in awe as he shrugged his shoulders.

"I'm sure he wanted to be the one to tell you, but I didn't want you running over there in hysterics."

"A house," I breathed in disbelief. "How did he…" Instead of finishing my sentence I pulled up a chair from the dining room table and sat down, placing the map in front of me. I found myself suddenly feeling weary and relieved at the same time.

"Must have come across it when the pack was on patrol," Billy wheeled himself into the kitchen and filled up a glass with ice water. He brought it over to the table and placed it in front of me. I gladly took a sip, suddenly realizing how thirty I was.

"How was he even able to afford a house?" I asked when I set the glass down in front of me.

"I think it's been abandoned and it's in pretty rough shape," Billy explained. "I didn't think it was worth the effort, but he seemed determined to fix it up. Must really be tired of living with the old man." He smiled and winked at me.

"So, that's where he is?" I asked, taking another sip of the cold water. "He works on it every day?"

Billy smiled, nodding his head. "Must get up around 6:00 every morning, I don't even know what time he comes home. Almost like he has something to prove."

I caught his gaze over my glass and I felt my face grow hot as I set the glass down on the table in the awkward silence. I wasn't sure how much Jacob had told Billy about our history, but I was sure Billy knew enough. Before I knew what I was going to say I opened my mouth to speak, hoping the right words would come out.

"Bella," Billy spoke before I could. "I'm not your father, and I'm not about to step on Charlie's toes."

I nodded cautiously, watching him pause to collect his thoughts.

"But you're like family to us and I want the best for you, same as Charlie. I care about your safety, happiness, and well-being too."

I could tell he was now talking about Edward, and I watched the serious look in his eyes soften.

"And my son adores you, Bella."

The same raw guilt churned in my stomach again and I had to break his gaze. "I know," I mumbled to the table.

"That's all I have to say," Billy held up his hands. "I've put in my two cents."

"Thanks," I smiled at him. "I care about your son too, Billy. I hope you realize that, and I hope Jacob does too."

"I do," Billy grinned. "And I think he does as well."

I finished the glass of water and pushed myself up from the table, crossing the room to place it in the sink. Billy turned around and handed me the makeshift map I had left on the table.

"If you get lost, I'll send Jake out for you."

I took the map from him, a smirk on my face. "Better than a cell phone, huh?"

"You bet."

"Thanks Billy," I turned to let myself out of the house.

"No problem."

I heard the smile on Billy's face as I skipped across the porch and nearly took the stairs two at a time. I could feel my heart pound in my chest, and my feet couldn't move fast enough as I climbed into the dry cab of my truck. I was grateful that the anticipation of seeing Jacob was continuing to keep the throbbing in my chest still, at least for the moment.

***

My ancient truck rocked violently over branches and boulders as I crawled deeper into the forest, and I tightened the strap on my seatbelt to keep from slamming into the side door. I had left the paved road about half a mile back and continued on a trailhead, but now I couldn't even find the trail markers. Frustrated, I grabbed the map Billy had drawn for me and held it in my line of sight, searching desperately for a landmark that I was at least on the right path. The only reassurance I had was a jagged line that led me to a rectangle, which I guessed was Billy's interpretation of the house.

"You have got to be kidding me," I groaned, tossing the useless map aside as I continued to search ahead for any signs of a road through the brush. The truck seemed to just barely fit between the trees. Great, I was lost and was surely going to die out here. I sat up in my seat a little to clear the dashboard as the trees finally opened. I came into a small clearing where a rustic single home sat, choked by ivy and weeds. I slowed the truck to a halt in what would be the front yard and cut the engine. The weather-worn shingles were slowly falling off the sides of the house, and most of the glass in the windows had been shattered. It was dark, desolate, depressing… Exactly how I was feeling at the moment. The house looked like it hadn't been kept after in years, and it seemed impossible that anyone inhabited it now. I grabbed the map once more, wondering if Billy had sent me on a fool's errand or if I had taken a wrong turn somewhere.

Just then, Jacob came around the other side of the house carrying an impossible load of timber on his shoulder, and I felt my mood lighten instantly. I watched him drop the logs in front of the house, and as he turned to continue his work he saw the truck. My heart jumped as his face lit up when he caught sight of me in the driver seat and I couldn't take my eyes off him as I opened the door to climb out of the cab. As I closed the distance between Jacob and I, my heart swelled and I nearly ran into his arms. Being close to him again warmed the aches out of my chest, but I also couldn't help feeling a little embarrassed as I gawked at him. Now that Jacob had surpassed me in looking older I was slowly becoming more aware of him physically, and his current choice of sweatpants and no t-shirt left me a little lightheaded. Every time I saw him it seemed he grew more muscular.

He stopped mid-stride and crossed his arms over his broad chest. "Hey, how did you get up here?"

"I drove to your house but apparently you don't live there anymore," I shrugged. "So Billy told me how to get here." I stopped in front off him and smiled. "It's good to see you, Jacob."

"Good to see you too," his eyes never left my face.

"This is…" I looked past him at the house.

"A mess," he laughed, running a hand through his short black hair. His chest and arms were streaked with dirt and sweat.

"No, it's amazing," I grinned widely at him. "Can I have a tour?"

"Of course," he grabbed my hand and led me to the front of the house. He opened the door for me and instantly the smell of mold and damp earth made me sneeze.

"Sorry," Jacob laughed. "As you can see I have a lot of work to do."

My eyes slowly adjusted to the dark house and I stepped down onto the creaking floorboards of what used to be a kitchen. The cabinets were falling off the walls and everything was the same musty brown color from the humidity. Wondering where all the water damage had come from, I looked up towards the high ceilings and found a large hole in the roof with part of a thick tree trunk still lodged in it.

"Yeah, I should probably fix that first," Jacob said behind me.

"Well, at least you have a skylight," I pointed out.

Jacob suddenly grabbed me and pulled me against his chest, hugging me in one of his death grips. "I'm so glad you're here," he whispered into my hair, kissing the top of my head. "I wanted this to be a surprise, but-"

"Jake!" I gasped for air.

"Sorry." He loosened his grip on me.

I felt his gaze on me as I looked around at the neglected house. "So what all do you have to do to fix it up?"

"Not too much," Jacob let me go and glanced around. "Well, I need to make sure the floor joists are stable before I fix up the hardwood floors. Also, the bedrooms need new drywall."

"Okay, that doesn't seem too bad."

"Then everything needs to be painted. I'm sure I could use a new roof, and while I'm up there I guess I should put the chimney back together."

Jacob absentmindedly opened one of the cabinet doors in the kitchen and the two of us jumped as the entire wall unit came crashing to the floor in a cloud of dust.

"And new cabinets," Jacob continued, unfazed. "Hardware. Lighting, probably going to need the electrical work rewired so that it's up to code."

"Jake."

"Oh, and plumbing," a groan ripped through the walls of house as Jacob turned the knob on the kitchen faucet. A few drops of putrid brown water dripped into the sink. "Yeah I'll have to rip out all the plumbing and replace it, that shouldn't be too bad."

"Jake."

"Then I need to rebuild the garage because that's about to collapse," Jacob began counting tasks on his fingers, ignoring my look of hopelessness. "New driveway. Siding. Fireplace. Countertops. Furniture. Check for any cracks in the foundation. The front steps need to be replaced too."

"JAKE!"

"What?" He suddenly snapped out of his daze and looked directly at my bewildered expression.

"Are you kidding me?" I held my hands out in despair. "How the hell are you going to finish all this? It's too much work for one person."

"I'll be alright Bells," Jacob shrugged off my concern as usual. "Besides, I have the pack to help me if I need them. And I'm in no hurry to finish everything, it'll get done eventually."

I shook my head. "This is impossible, Jacob."

Jacob crossed the room and stood in front of me, a smirk on his face. "Well, I know a lot about things that seem impossible. Guess I'll have to prove you wrong on this one as well."

I rolled my eyes as he took my hand and led me through the debris in the house to a door in one of the back hallways. The door had expanded over time, and Jacob had to shove against it with all his strength to open it. More stale air hit me as I stepped down into the old garage. I recognized the Rabbit and Jacob's motorcycle, and I was surprised to find my motorcycle leaning against his.

"You still have it?" I walked over and wrapped my fingers around the handlebar, remembering the hours that Jake and I had spent working on it, and the hours we had spent together. I slowly turned to him. "I told you to sell it, it's just taking up space here."

Jacob grabbed an old t-shirt behind him and pulled it over his head, staining it with more dirt and grease from his skin. He shrugged, leaning against a workbench. "It's your bike. We worked so hard on it and you never know when you may want to use it again." He shifted his gaze to mine and smirked. "Ok, you got me. Maybe I was hoping I could use it to get you over here to spend some time with me every once in a while."

I stared at my best friend, the other person who would do anything for me, and I felt my heart breaking. His dark brown eyes searched mine, and I hated doing anything that would hurt him. "Jake," I sighed, absentmindedly kicking a rock with my shoe, "I don't think I'll be able to visit much, I'll probably be going away to college soon."

"That's ok," Jacob smiled warmly. "Seattle isn't that far away, and I can always jump on the bike to come see you, if_ he'll_ let me." He rolled his eyes.

"Jake-"

"It's alright," Jacob held up his hand. "I can be nice if you want me to be. But don't worry about the distance Bells, honey. I'll still be there whenever you need me."

"Jake," I crossed my arms over my chest, feeling the dull throbbing return. "I won't be in Seattle. Edward and I decided on the University of Alaska, so we'll be moving there soon."

Jacob's jaw tightened. "Alaska."

"Yes," I whispered, hating to see the smile that I loved so much fade away. He drew in a deep breath and stared past me, all emotion drained from his face. He turned his back to me and put his hands on the workbench behind him, leaning on them with such force that muscles ripped up his arms and across his shoulders. He began to tremble, and took a few deep breaths trying to control himself. I took a few cautious steps towards him and placed a gentle hand on his warm skin.

"Jake, it's ok," I whispered. "I'll be back at the end of the semest-"

"DAMNIT, BELLA!!!" Jacob roared, grabbing onto the sides of the workbench and flipping it over in one motion. Metal tools went flying everywhere, clanging onto the ground, one nearly missing my head. I jumped back and landed against the Rabbit in shock. He spun around to face me, furious. "You are unbelievable!"

"What-"

"You selfish bitch!"

My jaw nearly hit the floor. "Excuse me!?"

Jacob slowly closed the distance between us, his eyes burning into mine. "It's the money, isn't it?" he snarled.

"The money!? Did you seriously just call me-"

"Or is it his looks?" Jacob shrugged. "Because I'd just like to know that I did all I could do, and that it was just completely out of my control."

"That's enough," I stammered, making my way towards the door, but Jacob quickly blocked my exit.

"Move," I glared up at him.

"No."

I tried to step around him but he blocked my path very easily. I knew from previous attempts that trying to physically move him myself was impossible.

"You don't get to walk away from me this time," he stared down at me.

I crossed my arms like a child and ended up pouting. "I don't need to listen to this. I'm tired of hearing about your distaste towards Edward."

"And I'm tired of being treated like shit when I don't deserve it."

His allegation stung, mostly because I knew he was right. As much as I tried to force the memory out of my head, I could still see the look on his face when Edward had returned and I left Jacob in the woods outside Charlie's house. Looking at Jacob now I realized that the same unbearable look had returned, and it was because I was leaving him behind once again. He was right, I was selfish. My irritation eased and he must have sensed that, because his tense muscles softened.

"Bells," he said softly, "just hear me out." He took a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts. "You know how I feel about you, and I understand if you don't completely feel the same way."

"Jake, I'm sorry…"

"Just, listen to me for a second." He looked past me again, trying to find the right words. "I can't… Do this anymore."

His words hurt worse than the realization I was the cause of his pain. "You're breaking up with me? Again?" I managed to force out of my tight chest.

Jacob shrugged, defeated. "What am I supposed to do, chase you to Alaska? Or maybe sit around here waiting for you to sneak out again?"

"At least then I can see you," I felt hot tears pushing against my eyes. I knew I couldn't handle another separation from him.

"And I can see you," Jacob took a few steps closer to me. "Which is torture for me because I want to touch you, but I can't."

"Jake…"

"Torture because I want to kiss you." He placed his hand against my cheek and tilted my face towards his. His breath mixed with his sweat and earth soaked skin made me dizzy, but he quickly pulled away. "But I can't."

I watched him walk a few paces away from me. I knew I deserved this, it had been a long time coming.

"Even this," Jacob glanced around. "Isn't enough."

"What isn't enough?" I stammered.

"This is for you, Bella. I'm fixing this house up for you. For us."

"Oh Jake," I felt my lower lip tremble as I looked around at the rotting wood structure. It suddenly didn't seem so bad anymore.

"I'm broke, Bella. I have nothing to offer you, I understand that. Which is why I have to work so hard for everything I want." He ran a hand through his jet black hair, pacing back and forth in front of me. "After I saw you again when you moved to Forks, I had to see you as much as I could, so I finished the Rabbit with my bare hands."

I smiled to myself when I remembered seeing Jacob for the first time in years. It had been so natural, like I had already spent every day of my life with him.

"When you came to me with the motorcycles and you asked for my help, I knew it wasn't because you were interested in spending time with me. But we grew closer," Jacob continued. "And besides building our motorcycles, we built on our history together, Bella."

I watched him take a few steps towards me again and soon I was pressed up against the Rabbit, he hovered a few inches from me.

"And now… When I've found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, I'm going to do everything in my power to make her realize that I would do anything for her, that I will take care of her the rest of my life, and that I would die for her." Jacob placed a hand on either side of me against the car and gazed into my eyes. "Now please, Bella, my love."

I struggled to breathe.

"Tell me, what do you see in _him_?"

I paused to form an intelligent answer. "I feel safe."

"He protects you?" Jacob smirked, leaning against the car until his muscles bulged on either side of me. I looked down and realized the Rabbit was only sitting on two wheels. "I will never let anything happen to you," he whispered in my ear while letting the car down gently.

I glanced back into Jacob's eyes. "What do you want me to say, Jake?"

"I want you to choose me," he pleaded.

"What?"

"Bella, you have to choose. Either him, or me. Because you can't have both of us anymore. I told you, I can't spend another second away from you," he stood up to his full height and crossed his arms. "But if your choice is _him_," he made a face. "Don't worry, you'll never hear from me again."

"But I don't want to never hear from you again," my voice was faint.

"Then marry _me_," Jacob didn't waste a second.

I opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn't form any words. Apparently everyone was giving me ultimatums that led to marriage, but the cost of either decision was too great to bear. My head spun with doubts and choices, I couldn't make sense of it all with Jacob trying to figure out my answer before I said it.

"Could I... I need some time, Jake."

Jacob nodded and stepped back from me, allowing me to leave if I wished. "Alright. I'll be here."

"Thank you." I pushed myself off the Rabbit and made my way towards the door, until a thought made me turn back around to face Jacob. "Wait," I stopped in my tracks. "Edward never made me choose between you and him."

"No," Jacob agreed with me. "He would just forbid you to see me, and then trap you in his house so that you couldn't leave." He sarcastically placed his hand over his heart. "Nothing says 'I love you' quite like house arrest."

"This is just another game to you, isn't it!?" I scowled at him. "Just another moment you can picture in your mind to hurt Edward, well I'm not going to let you." I turned for the door again.

"No, Bella." His unnaturally calm demeanor made me stop, giving him another moment to impress me. "You're right, I do give you a hard time about Edward, and I'm sorry about that." He slowly walked toward me, hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. "But this is no longer about Edward. It's about you."

"What are you talking about, Jake?" I sighed, a little defeated.

He got to where I was standing and stopped in front of me, staring into my eyes. "Years from now Bella, what do you picture your life like?"

My breath caught in my lungs as I remembered my confusing dreams from the past few months. "I-I don't know," I stammered. "I have too much to think about, and not enough time left."

"And all I'm saying is," Jacob gently took my hands in his. "Consider me. Consider everything we have together, because in the long-run I believe that I can give you everything you've ever wanted."

I didn't have to look into his eyes to know he was telling the truth, especially since it was something that I had been recently trying to deny.

"I don't need to fight him anymore," Jacob continued. "Because I believe that after you weight your options, there won't be any need to. Do you love Edward?" I watched him cringe a little. "Of course you love him, that's obvious, even to me. But years from now when you don't need to be taken care of because you are a strong, beautiful, independent woman who doesn't need a babysitter… What else can he offer you?"

I was stunned. "But Edward-"

"THIS ISN'T ABOUT HIM!!" Jacob roared, grabbing me by the shoulders and gently shaking me. "This is about you, FINALLY thinking for yourself!" He took a deep breath and composed himself, pleading with his eyes. "Damnit, Bella… It's not _his_ life we're talking about here. It's yours."

"I know," I nodded calmly. "I'll consider everything, Jacob. I promise."

That seemed to be enough, and he leaned forward and gently kissed my forehead. I smiled when I felt perspiration on my skin from where his lips had been, abnormally hot.

"Thank you," I reached up and put my hand on his dirt-streaked face.

He closed his eyes and leaned into my touch. "For what?"

"Being you," my heart ached. "I'm so lucky to have a friend like you, one who cares about me so much. However, Edward did beat you in one aspect."

Jacob opened his eyes and raised an eyebrow. "And which aspect is that?"

"He at least presented me with a ring," I teased.

Jacob narrowed his eyes. "Is that what you want?" He dug into his pocket and my hand flew up to my mouth as the sunlight glinted off a small diamond. Jacob held the engagement ring tenderly between his fingers and his hand shook as he held it out to me. "I don't care what_ he_ gave you," his voice cracked, and his hand shook more. "I don't care what fancy car he drives, I don't care what nice house he lives in, and I don't care what material things he has promised you. Because I can't compete with that."

I shook my head, my eyes filling with tears. "You don't have to."

"But what I can compete with," Jacob swallowed. "Is that I. Never. Left."

"Jacob…" The lump in my throat caused tears to spill down my cheeks as he knelt down on one knee and gazed into my eyes, his own filling up with tears.

"And until you tell me to, I will never leave your side. Because I love you, Isabella Swan… And I've waited so long to say that, and I don't care if you don't want to hear it. I love you, Bella. I love you even though you run with vampires, and I love you even though you can't walk across a smooth surface without finding something to trip over."

I laughed through my tears.

"I love you even when you push me away, even when you make the wrong decisions, and even when you're mad at me… Because I've realized that I'm still willing to be here after you push me away. Because I've realized that I'm still going to wait for you to make the right decisions. I will always protect you, I will always adore you, and I'll be the one who catches you when you trip over nothing. Isabella Swan… Will you marry me?" He slowly and gently slipped the diamond ring on my finger.

I stared down in wonder at the thin silver band that fit me perfectly. The small round diamond caught the sun, sending thousands of tiny rainbows dancing across Jacob's russet skin. "Jake… It-It's beautiful."

"It was my Mother's," Jacob rubbed my hand with his fingers. Even kneeling, he still came close to my eye level. "Billy gave it to me, to give to you."

"Jacob, please," I scrambled for words. "Just give me some time to think."

"Bella, you don't need to give me an answer right now, ok?"

I nodded, sheepishly.

"I just wanted to show you how much I care about you, and how far I'm willing to go to win your heart."

Reluctantly, I began to slip the ring off my finger but Jacob's strong hands stopped me.

"No, keep it on."

"But Jake-"

"I want you to keep it," Jacob stood back up to his full height. "Once you make a decision…" He paused, then shook his head, dismissing a thought. "I can always get it later." He took my hand and began to lead me back to my truck, opening the door for me. "Come on, let's get you home. You have a lot of thinking to do."

* * *

_And what do I want for Christmas?... Why, a Jacob sleepover in a tent in the middle of a snowstorm, please! :D  
Happy Holidays, everyone!_


	5. Verdict

_A huge thanks to everyone, and I am so flattered by all your reviews! You guys are too kind... I'm so glad to hear that the Jacob proposal chapter was as enjoyable to read as it was to write! Interestingly enough, after posting that chapter... My long-time boyfriend and I got engaged :D (And my best friend gave me a Taylor Lautner book for Christmas, which I had to hide, LOL!) Good thing I got the ring before he found the book ;)_

_I apologize for this chapter being nearly 7,000 words... Apparently, I don't know when to shut up. _

* * *

**5. VERDICT**

I paused outside my front door, my hand hovering above the doorknob as I silently prayed that Charlie hadn't heard my truck's approach to the house. Jacob had quickly disappeared as soon as he dropped me off, leaving me to handle the challenge of getting upstairs before being asked too many questions. I slowly turned the doorknob as gingerly as possible, stepping into the house on the tips of my feet. I managed to close the door behind me and listened to the dim sounds of a basketball game on the television in the living room. Silently grateful for organized sports, I began to make my way across the dining room when I hit a loose floorboard. I winced as a loud creak sounded throughout the small house. It was at times like these when being a mythical creature would came in handy.

"Hey Bells!" Charlie called from the living room. "Where have you been?"

Startled, I gave little thought to my answer. "Out with Jacob," I called, instantly kicking myself. The engagement ring was still tight around my finger and if Charlie saw that, I wouldn't have to worry about making a decision. It would be made for me.

"What were you kids up to today?"

I was thankful for the game on the television that seemed to keep his attention because he hadn't turned around to look at me.

"Oh, nothing really," I crept towards the stairs.

"Hey," Charlie suddenly spun around and caught me. I instantly stopped dead in my tracks, shoving my left hand into my pocket. "Billy told me about the house Jacob is working on."

"Umm yeah, I saw it…"

"Isn't that great?" he mused. "Fixing it up all by himself. I don't know where that kid finds the energy or the strength to-"

"Dad," I interrupted, fidgeting with a sudden inspiration. "It's a good drive back from Jacob's…"

"Oh, sorry," Charlie turned back to the television. "Go."

I sprinted up the stairs, taking them two at a time until I got to the bathroom and closed the door behind me, letting out a sigh of relief. I ran my hand under the faucet and carefully slipped the ring off my finger, catching it before it fell into the sink. I held it up to the light and studied it. The delicate silver band bore light scratches from being worn over the years, but the solitaire diamond had never lost its luster. Every individual facet captured the light perfectly, winking at me as I turned it between my fingers. I shifted my gaze past the ring at my reflection. Even though I had lost sleep over the past couple weeks and the emotional pressures were beginning to take their toll, my features were full of life. Looking past the light circles under my eyes, there was a slight color in my cheeks and I caught myself smiling as I remembered Jacob's proposal. My heart fluttered in my chest as I pictured him kneeling down in front of me, promising me everything he could give me. Not wanting Charlie to come check on me, I slipped the ring back on my finger and stepped into the hallway, making my way into my bedroom and quietly closing the door behind me.

I collapsed onto my bed with a groan, knowing that the time was running out on my decision. It had come down to this: two rings, two ultimatums. I slipped Jacob's ring back onto my finger and though about what came with this choice: The loss of my everything. I couldn't imagine my life without Edward, I didn't want to. But what I found was that I could imagine my life with Jacob. Simple. Uncomplicated. The natural path my life would have taken.

Carefully I replaced the silver ring with Edward's. With that promise, I would lose everything else. My own parents would have to believe I was dead, and I would be on the opposite side of my best friend, forever his enemy. I would be able to spend the rest of eternity with my true love, but would I even retain the qualities that made me who I am, the woman whom he adores, after I became one of them?

There was too much to consider, too much at stake. This had become an impossible decision, and I knew I couldn't bear the loss of either outcome. Frustrated, I pushed myself off the bed and dropped both rings in the top drawer of my bureau, slamming the drawer shut. As long as I couldn't see them, I felt as if I could take a step back from the finality of both situations. I let the hours pass as I stared a hole into my ceiling, taking advantage of no late-night visitations. Charlie came by to check on me at some point for dinner, but I made up some excuse about not having much of an appetite. Soon I smelled the familiar burning scent from Charlie's dinner that drifted from downstairs, and eventually the house grew quiet. I watched with dread as the shadows once again crept across my room and night inevitably came.

I pulled the covers up under my chin, fighting a losing battle with sleep. I was terrified to face another nightmare, terrified to face a reality I wasn't ready to admit. I squeezed my eyes shut and waited. Waited for the screams. Waited for the terror. Waited for the pain. Soon I was stumbling through a deep forest. The fear swelled in my throat, threatening to choke me as I realized that I was lost. I searched frantically around me for some sort of path, but the forest looked the same in every direction. I wandered aimlessly listening intently for any cars passing by on a road, or searching for a break in the trees, but could find nothing. Twigs and rocks twisted my ankles and I had to catch myself a few times on the damp moss as I stumbled through the underbrush, panic causing my heart to race. After it seemed like I had been traveling in circles for hours, the light ahead of me seemed to filter through the trees easier. I nearly broke into a run when I realized the leaves were beginning to thin out in front of me, and I was headed for a clearing. I couldn't get through the forest fast enough. Branches scratched at my face as I pushed through the few remaining shrubs and came to stand on one end of the clearing. I was out of breath and I felt my face flush, but my heart began to slow as I gazed around at what lay before me.

Two figures stood across the clearing, and one I knew very well. Jacob was crouched in a defensive position, muscles tight, ready to spring. Before I could react, he suddenly lunged forward and peals of laughter echoed though the woods as Jacob carefully pounced on the small child in front of him. They wrestled in the soft grass until the boy broke lose from Jake's grip and took off running as fast as his short legs could carry him, his jet black hair blowing in the breeze. The previous terror I felt had dissipated and I couldn't help but smile as I watched Jacob in hot pursuit. He caught up to the giggling toddler and with little effort plucked him from the ground, spinning him in tight circles. The little boy shrieked with delight as one of his shoes went flying, and I had to laugh at the sight of the two of them. As Jacob held the child close, he took a few steps and collapsed onto the ground, too dizzy to stand. Jacob lay on the grass facing away from me with the boy across his chest. He must have spotted me across the clearing, because the small boy sat up and looked at me with his deep brown eyes.

My brown eyes.

I gasped and my hands flew to my face as I stared at my son. My heart ached, pounding furiously in my hollow chest. I knew it was true, even before Jacob sat up on his elbows and looked back at me with a warm smile. Suddenly my legs couldn't support me anymore and I collapsed to the ground, my lower lip trembling, tears spilling down my cheeks. The little boy's face lit up with recognition and he quickly pushed off of Jacob's chest and began to wobble towards me. His father got up and followed close behind, hands outstretched in case he had to make another quick catch. Even as the sobs began to make their way up my throat, I held out my arms and waited for him to make his way to me. When he had gotten within a couple feet from me I instinctively got to my feet and closed the rest of the distance, not being able to be away from him any longer. I cradled the toddler to my chest, kissing his face as he giggled and played with my hair. Holding him in my arms, I felt complete. Whole. Like I was finally home. I leaned back against Jacob who had come to stand behind me, and he wrapped his arms around me and our son. Jacob placed a kiss on my forehead as I settled into the warmth and overwhelming love for my family, grateful that the path I had chosen in my life had brought me here.

***

The rain had stopped a few hours before sunrise, and rare beams of light began to fight their way through the thick gray clouds. Everything lay covered in a fine mist, which sparkled when the sun would make its way through the overcast sky. I turned my back to the window, not wanting to be reminded of anything that cast multiple rainbows in the sunlight. Being left with little else to do before my final departure, I paced my room and kicked around the boxes in my path, not really accomplishing anything. Every few moments I would deposit some items in a box, but then stop and resume my pacing. Once I even took a few photographs out of a box and began to put them back in their original places on the wall, but eventually I ceased that activity as well. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched the minutes go by on the clock that still sat on the corner of my desk. The ivory face also seemed to be watching my movements.

I crossed the room and opened the small drawer that held both engagement rings. Instinctively I reached in to pick up Edward's when I realized I was frozen, my hand suspended over both rings, unsure of which to place back on my finger. Instead I closed the drawer again, no closer to a conclusion and no longer able to be reminded of both options. I still couldn't make this decision, and every second that went by forced me to realize that I was quickly running out of time. I knew Edward would be here soon, since we had to get on the road for the drive up to Alaska. But then again, maybe I could do this. Maybe I already had made my choice, and I was just too terrified to admit it.

"Looks like I'm too late," an sad voice said from across the room.

I nearly jumped out of my skin and whirled around to face Alice. She stood in the middle of my empty room, wearing a look of complete despair. As I watched her, she slowly rubbed her temple.

"You're giving me such a headache, Bella. One second you're here, and the next you're not," she looked at me, shaking her head. "I'll certainly be glad when this is over."

"Alice," I began, realizing I was at a loss for words.

"I didn't tell him," she stared into my eyes. "He's on his way over here, but I didn't tell him. I figured I'd talk to you first."

I put my head in my hands, trying desperately to stop the tears. "Alice, I am so sorry…"

"Don't apologize, Bella."

I felt her arms around my shoulders as she lead me over to my bed, sitting down next to me.

"If this isn't what you want…" I could hear the hurt in her voice. I glanced up to see her features shift, but she forced a smile. "Like I said before, this is your life. I will support whatever decision you make."

"Really?" I asked through my tears. "You mean you didn't run over here to try to talk me out of it?"

Alice paused for a moment. "Ok, give me 30 seconds," she blurted out, grabbing my hands. "Bella, seriously!?"

I chose to remain quiet as the fury boiled in Alice's eyes.

"You're giving up all of this, everything Edward has to offer you, for what!? For the _dog_!? And I was even willing to change you myself, and that all would have been for nothing!" Exasperated, she let go of my hands and stood up from the bed. "Everything that we've been through! Everything that we've sacrificed!"

I watched her pace furiously back and forth. I had no words left and I knew I deserved Alice's punishment as well. I had been immature and foolish, selfish even. I had allowed myself to be dazzled by a dangerous stranger, and my actions had caused events to be set into motion that I was powerless to stop. However if I removed myself from the circumstances, maybe there was still time left to save those who mattered most. I knew in my heart what I had to do and as I slowly looked up and caught Alice's gaze, I knew that she saw my fate.

She crossed her arms over her chest. "There's nothing I can say to make you change your mind, is there?"

I shook my head sadly, wishing I knew what to say to comfort her.

"It's okay," she half smiled. "I didn't think so."

"Alice-"

"I'm not mad Bella," she explained, although she didn't come any closer to me. "I'm just selfish. I was really looking forward to you becoming my sister."

I looked down at my lap. "I was looking forward to that as well," I said quietly. It suddenly struck me how I had begun to talk in the past-tense while referring to Edward, and it had almost become an involuntary response.

I sighed as I suddenly heard the familiar sound of the Volvo's engine purring in the driveway, then the awful silence as Edward cut the power. He opened the doors and trunk of the sports car, then the front door creaked as he entered the house. I faintly hearing mumbling from downstairs as he greeted Charlie.

"Bella, I wish I could make this easier for you," Alice's voice cut into my thoughts.

"No, it's alright," I smiled faintly at her. "I'll tell him."

My heart rate increased as I faintly heard footsteps on the stairs. All too soon, my bedroom door swung open and Edward appeared, stopping in the doorway to gaze at Alice. He studied her for a few moments, then set his jaw. I assumed from Alice's blank face that her thoughts hadn't given anything away either. Turning from her, he picked up the nearest bags and smiled shyly at me.

"You ready?"

Before I could answer, he turned and headed downstairs with my clothes. I looked over at Alice and she widened her eyes, gesturing me to follow Edward. I broke her gaze and went back over to my dresser, grabbing an object out of the top drawer and shoving it into my pocket. I managed to get downstairs before nearly colliding with Edward when he passed me in the kitchen on his way back to get more boxes.

"Edward-"

"Say goodbye to your father Bella," he mumbled as he brushed past me and quickly headed up the stairs.

"Do you need any help, Edward!?" Charlie called from behind me.

"No, thanks!" I heard him yell from upstairs. My bedroom door was now shut, and I wondered what him and Alice were talking about. I turned around to Charlie who stood in the kitchen, drying his hands on the dishtowel. He smiled at me, dropping the towel on the counter.

"Guess I'll have to learn how to cook for myself now," he forced a grin. "Are you all set?"

"Dad, I-" My voice cut off on me.

"I know Bells, this is hard for me too," Charlie crossed the small space and pulled me into a tight hug. "But I'm so proud of you. And you know you can call me anytime."

"I know," I mumbled against his chest.

Charlie let me go as Edward came down the stairs with another couple boxes. He passed us and went out to the car without a word.

"Give me a call when you get there, so I know you're alright," Charlie sat down in one of the kitchen chairs, his eyes rimmed red. He turned and his face lit up as he caught sight of Alice coming down the stairs. "Alice, when did you get here!?"

"I came in before Edward," she smiled, and I was sure Charlie wouldn't question her. "I wanted to see Bella off too."

"You don't have to be a stranger once Bella's gone either," he offered her a seat. "You're always welcome to visit."

"Thanks Charlie," Alice beamed. She then turned her uncertain gaze on me. "You didn't forget anything, did you?"

I felt unsteady on my feet and a lump was beginning to form in my throat. "I-I'll go see if Edward needs any help." I excused myself and stepped outside into the moist air, coming up behind Edward who was working on fitting all my belongings into the car.

"Can I do anything?" I barely whispered, stalling for time.

He turned and looked at me out of the corner of his eye, then resumed packing. "No, I've got it."

Edward tossed another bag into the back of the Volvo. I watched my entire existence being forcefully shoved into the trunk of the sports car, and I painfully began to realize this was it.

"Edward…"

He quickly looked over at me as he picked up my suitcase, his stare a look of irritation. "Not now, Bella." He placed the bag among all the others. "We'll talk about this later."

"No, now." I held my ground, becoming increasingly frustrated with his arrogance.

"Bella," he continued to pile my bags into the car as I stood watching. "I know what's best for you. I know it's difficult to leave everything that's familiar behind, but you know I'm going to take care of you."

He finished arranging my things in the trunk and shut the door. Without another word, he opened the passenger side door and looked back at me, waiting.

My legs refused to move. I had known this moment would arrive, but now that it was here and even though I still felt the conflict churning in my stomach, I knew the choice I had to make.

"Bella, let's go," Edward's voice took on another level of impatience as he threw a wave past me to Charlie who had now come to stand by the window to watch us leave. I couldn't see Alice, but I knew she was still there.

I gazed at Edward's angelic face. He knew I was coming with him. There wasn't a question in his mind as he turned and situated my pillow on the passenger side seat. I knew what I was about to do. The words I was about to say were going to destroy him and my heart ached with the realization of my decision.

Edward turned back to face me and crossed his arms, glaring at me.

"Bella."

I sucked in a mouthful of air as pain tore through me, cutting off my ability to speak. The old scar began to tear at the seam that had healed over time. I looked back over my shoulder at Charlie's face in the window and watched his brow knit as he became aware of my hesitation.

"…Bella?"

I shifted my gaze back to Edward. From the sound of his voice I knew his beliefs had been shaken, and the look on his face was one I had never seen before: doubt. He slowly came closer to me, cautious as if one swift move would send me running in the opposite direction. His gaze was more tender now, his irritation gone.

"Come on, Bella."

He held out his hand to me, waiting to take mine. I stared at it through watery eyes, then forced myself to raise my arm. I placed my closed hand in his, then before he could close his grip on me I dropped what was in my grasp and let my arm fall back to my side. Edward's features froze as he held the object in his hand, his questioning gaze on me. He then slowly opened his fingers, and we both looked down at my diamond engagement ring that now lay on his palm. At that moment, a rare sliver of sun broke through the clouds and fell on the side of Edward's face, spilling onto his outstretched palm. He looked up at me in shock as the diamonds sparkled on the ring, mixing with the rainbows from his multi-faceted skin.

I felt my entire world crumble around me. The stitches in my old scar had been ripped out, and the wound ached just as much as it had before. I could no longer look him in the eye, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move. But as I came to the understanding of what I had to do, I forced myself to draw in a breath. I closed my eyes, blocking out the painful images in front of me. My ring in Edward's hand. His look of rejection. The car filled with my belongings. I shut everything out and just focused on me. The rare rays of sunshine still beat down on my face. Birds sang in the trees, taking advantage of the break in the rain. I took in another unsteady breath, filling my lungs with the damp air. Life goes on, and my life would go on. I had survived without Edward before. Barely, but I had made it. I could do it again, but this time he would never come back for me. I was terrified at that thought, but I knew that if I needed help along the way, there was someone else I could run to.

Edward hadn't torn open the existing scar, I had. I nearly destroyed myself, and in doing so I discovered that even though most of my being is craving him like a drug, there was still enough left to give me the strength to walk away from him. I opened my eyes again to find Edward still staring down at the ring in utter disbelief. He slowly closed his fist and dropped his hand, attempting to compose himself before meeting my gaze again.

"So, this is your choice." His voice seemed to be coming from somewhere distant.

I could only nod. I braced myself for the moment he would turn his back to me and walk away, because I knew that was going to hurt the most.

Edward seemed to sway on his feet, not knowing whether to stand and fight or walk away. He looked into my eyes, unable to mask the pain that churned in his hazel orbs that seemed to grow darker in front of me.

"Bella," I watched him reach for me, then hesitate. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes." I forced the word past the lump in my throat. I knew if I faltered for a second, if he found one glint of weakness in my eyes, he would talk me out of it. I watched his face crumble in agony as one last time he struggled to hear the words slamming around in my brain, though we both knew all he heard was silence.

"Then I-" he caught his shaking voice. He glanced over his shoulder at the packed car and everything it held. All of my belongings along with our hopes, dreams, and memories that we would no longer make together. Edward shook off whatever he originally meant to say. "I'll drop your things off later," he motioned towards the car.

"That's fine," I whispered. His image blurred with the tears that I could no longer hold in. I knew I couldn't keep myself together for much longer, but I forced myself to stay standing in front of him. I had been in his position before, and I knew this was harder on him than it was on me.

Edward suddenly turned his back to me and began to make his way to the driver's side of the Volvo. The breath was punched out of my lungs quicker than I could stop it and I instantly clutched at the wound in my chest. For a moment I panicked, wondering if I actually lacked the strength to function without Edward. Every step that took him further away from me made every cell in my body scream, and I would have called out for him had the pain allowed me to make a sound. The memories of that night in the forest came rushing back to me all at once which only made my chest throb even more. Edward's back to me, the distance he continued to put between us, the realization that nearly brought me to my knees that he was never coming back was almost unbearable.

I felt a breeze rush past me as Alice quickly followed Edward towards the car. She cast a sympathetic glance in my direction then disappeared into the passenger side, closing the door behind her. It didn't take long for the Volvo's engine to roar to life and the silver car begin to pull out of the driveway. I stood transfixed, watching the car I had longed everyday to see slip effortlessly into the road, taking my entire existence further away from me. I would have ran after them but I knew my legs lacked the strength. Soon the car picked up speed and was lost between the trees, and all that was left in the eerie stillness was an addict struggling with the initial shock of her treatment.

***

I don't remember walking into the house. I don't remember how I got onto the couch. When everything began to come into focus again I realized I was staring down at my lap with a pair of strong arms around my trembling frame. I had instinctively wrapped my frail arms around my chest, trying desperately to keep my upper body in one piece. Sobs once again ripped through me and I instantly realized with growing anguish that I felt everything. Unlike the numbness that accompanied me for months after Edward left the first time, this pain was acute, sharp, and unrelenting.

"Bella, just breathe."

Charlie's voice no longer held its previous concern. He knew this was my choice, he knew I was aware of what I had done, and he probably wasn't too upset about Edward's departure. All he could do, and all I could do, was wait for the pain to subside. I let myself cry until I could barely feel my throat and eventually I felt the numbness that began to sooth my nerves. I had managed to get through my initial separation from Edward, and I was grateful that Charlie was here to guide me into the house, rather then spending another night on the forest floor. Charlie sensed my breathing return to normal and he handed me a tissue as the last tears began to dry on my face. I dabbed at my eyes as he pulled me a little closer, no doubt ready to get his feelings off his chest.

"Now Isabella," he gently brushed a loose strand of my hand from my face. "What happened?"

"I don't know where to start Dad," I forced back a final sob by taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "I just couldn't leave."

"He didn't do anything to hurt you, did he Bells?" Charlie's concern in his voice returned.

"No, it's nothing like that." I dabbed at my swollen eyes. "Everything was just happening too fast, and I realized I couldn't get married. Maybe I wasn't ready, but the longer I thought about it, the more I realized that maybe I just couldn't see myself marrying Edward."

I glanced up at Charlie, but his face didn't give away any indication of relief. He seemed too concerned about my own well-being.

"Well, I think you made the right choice to take a step back from everything," Charlie gently rubbed my back. "Take some time out for yourself, I'm sure you haven't done that in a while."

I paused for a moment and thought about how I had put my own needs and goals aside these past few years. Every decision, every choice had been made with Edward as my priority, but now everything I had been working towards was gone. I realized with apprehension that I would have to learn how to take care of myself all over again.

"Now Bella, I don't need you locking yourself in your room for the next three months like last time," Charlie warned me. "Maybe you should re-connect with some of your girlfriends. Like, Jessica."

I struggled to think for a minute. "…Jessica?"

Charlie scowled at me. "Jessica Stanley. Your friend from school, remember? You two went out to the movies and shopping in Port Angeles a few times."

"Oh yeah, Jessica." I fussed with the tissues in my lap, remembering the last time I'd had any contact with her. We didn't seem to end things on a good note, and even graduation didn't bring us any closer.

"Why don't you spend some time with her?" Charlie suggested. "Or that other girl you seemed to be good friends with…"

"Angela?"

"Yeah, Angela." Charlie smiled at me. "I'm sure it would do you good to spend time with the girls every once in a while."

I cringed. "I don't know.

Charlie shrugged. "Maybe you should have made some time for your girlfriends in-between all those visits with Edward?"

"I guess," I felt a twinge of guilt.

"It's ok, Bells. I'm sure they understood, and they'll just be happy to see you again."

I kept quiet, feeling guilty about loosing touch with the first people who made me feel welcome in Forks. I made a promise to myself to at least get in touch with Angela again, and in time I'd reach out to Jessica.

"You need to spend some time with people your own age," Charlie continued, mumbling more to himself than to me. "Get away from the old man, be a kid, get into trouble even."

I hesitated as Charlie grumbled.

"Well, not as much trouble as you've been getting into recently," he added.

I grimaced as the pain throbbed when I allowed myself to remember the times Edward and I had wound up on Charlie's bad side. Apparently I had skipped past the normal teenage rebellion stage and gone straight to the phase of running away to Europe. I forced the memories into the back of my mind, my breath coming a little easier as I fought my way through a relapse.

Charlie seemed to sense my tension and he hugged me close to him again, not willing to let me breathe on my own yet. "Now I'm not trying to push you in any direction, Bells."

I knew where he was going before he even said it, and I forced back a smile.

"But you know Jacob's also going to be around for you if you need him. And I'm sure he'll be more than happy to have you around more often too."

"I know, Dad. I think I'll be happy about that as well."

"I always liked you and Jake together," Charlie smiled. "But like I said, you have to take the time to take care of yourself first."

"Don't worry, Dad." I looked up at Charlie, and I was surprised to feel a twinge of excitement. "I guess Jacob feels the same way, because he proposed to me a couple days ago."

I smiled as Charlie's face lit up. "Boy, he didn't waste much time, did he?"

"What do you mean?"

"Jacob came by last week and asked my permission for your hand," Charlie smiled sheepishly. "You have no idea how difficult it was to keep my mouth shut."

"I'm impressed you didn't tell me," I lightly smacked his arm. I felt a warm smile pull across my face as I imagined Jacob asking Charlie for my hand in marriage. The mangled, twisted heart in my chest managed to beat faintly as the love I felt for my best friend began to mend the torn scar already.

"Even though you were engaged to Edward," Charlie's voice cut into my daydreams, "I gave Jacob my permission. I figured if he found a way to make you change your mind, then he was the better man for the job."

I attempted to glare at Charlie out of the corner of my eye, but I couldn't keep the smile off my face.

"So what did you tell him?"

"Oh, I haven't given him an answer yet. I still had to come to a decision about Edward first," I explained.

"Wait a minute," Charlie paused. "You said he proposed a couple days ago?"

I nodded.

"And you've made the kid wait all this time?"

I cringed as Charlie laughed.

"You're a heartbreaker, Bells." He tousled my hair. "That's alright, keep him on his toes. Make him sweat a little."

"Oh, you're right," I put my head in my hands. "I'm so awful, what a terrible thing for me to do!"

Charlie chuckled as he rubbed my back. "You figure everything out first, kiddo. I'm sure he's willing to wait a few days."

I sighed loudly, leaning back against the cushions. We sat for a few moments in the comfortable silence until Charlie glanced over at me.

"You alright?"

"Yeah," I let out another lungful of air. "I'll be alright."

Charlie seemed to chose his words carefully. "Is… Is he still going to go to college without you?"

I pictured Edward wandering around a college campus with textbooks tucked under one arm and a varsity jacket on, and I couldn't help but grin. "No Dad, I don't think he'll go now."

"Well, that's a shame." Charlie mused.

I leaned forward again and put my head in my hands, rubbing my temples. "I'm sure he'll be fine."

"Well he shouldn't have to stay cooped up in this town his whole life," Charlie continued. "Things may not have worked out between the two of you, but that's no reason to give up on such important plans."

"Dad, Edward's a vampire," I mumbled into my hands, exhaustion getting the best of me. "I'm sure college is not something he needs to worry about."

"Well, vampire or not, he shouldn't use you as an excuse." There was a long silence as Charlie took in my response. I could soon feel his gaze on me. "Honey," I recognized his supportive tone, when he knew I was either making no sense or losing my mind. "Maybe you should get some rest. It's been a rough day."

"Dad, I'm serious," I glanced back up at him, grateful to have someone so close to me know all the secrets I had been keeping trapped inside me for all this time. "Edward is an actual vampire, just like the rest of the Cullens."

Charlie knitted his brow, most likely not knowing whether to continue asking questions or to just call the psychiatric ward.

"Remember when Edward looked down at my ring and he sparkled?" I explained. "That wasn't the ring, Dad. Edward's skin sparkles in the sun."

Charlie seemed to stifle laughter. "I thought vampires could only come out at night."

"That's just in the movies," I nonchalantly explained. "They can be outside during the day, just not in direct sunlight. That's why the Cullens moved here, there's not much sun in Washington."

Charlie seemed to mull over my answer. "And the garlic?"

"That's Hollywood too," I explained. "Edward was an amazing cook, garlic doesn't intimidate him."

"He always was a little pale," Charlie glanced at me cautiously out of the corner of his eye.

"Yeah well, so am I." I raised my arm up for good measure. "Although I'm not the one who was dying in 1918 of influenza."

The smile on Charlie's face seemed to diminish. "What?"

"Edward was born in 1901 during the outbreak of influenza," I clarified. "When his parents died, Carlisle turned Edward into a vampire to save him."

Charlie grew very still. "So, you're not kidding? You're saying… He's really a…"

In my state of delirium, I looked up at Charlie and held my index fingers up to my mouth to look like fangs.

Charlie went as pale as I'd ever seen him. "Well," he stammered for breath. "I am so glad you dumped him! And to think you were around such a dangerous!… And I let you!… I'll never forgive myself!"

"It's ok, Dad," I patted him on the shoulder having already gone through the horrifying realization myself.

He ran a shaky hand through what was left of his hair. "How long have you known about this!?"

"Since I met him," I kept my voice calm. "I'm used to it by now."

Charlie frantically glanced around the living room. "We need to tell someone! They're too dangerous to be around!"

"Dad," I grabbed his shaking hand. "The Cullens don't attack people, they prefer to hunt wild animals. Trust me, I've always been safe around them." Images of Victoria and James swirled in my mind, but I though it best to keep those details to myself.

Charlie composed himself into the father figure again. "It's a good thing you chose Jacob. At least I know you'll be completely safe with him."

I couldn't help the smirk that pulled across my lips. "Dad, give it up. Jacob's a werewolf."

"…What?"

"The Quileute tribe are all werewolves, Dad." I prayed for a moment that Charlie wouldn't have a heart attack since all the color had drained from his face. "Jacob, Quil, Embry, even the Clearwater kids. Once they all reached a certain age they transformed."

Charlie seemed to stare off into space for a moment. "Does Billy know about all of this?"

"Yes," I watched him carefully. "He'd been warning Jake about it for years. When it was finally Jake's turn, Billy kept us apart until he was no longer a threat to me or anyone else."

I watched Charlie take all the information in and slowly the color returned to his features. "Dad, are you alright?"

"Yeah," he said quietly. "Just give me a minute to process all of this."

I nodded and gave him his space. Feeling like I had the strength back in my legs, I set my feet on the ground and pushed off the couch. I stretched my aching limbs and began to make my way towards the kitchen, surprised at how tired I felt. I heard Charlie get up behind me and began to follow me out of the living room. As he paused to turn off the side lamp, Charlie suddenly shook his head and smiled at me.

"So you just broke up with a vampire, and now you're telling me that you're going to be engaged to a werewolf?"

I pondered his question for a moment, then shrugged. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."

Charlie let out a groan as he switched off the light. "Only you, Bells."

"I know, Dad." I patted him on the back as we made our way through the kitchen to the stairs. "I know."

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_Happy New Year!! :D_


	6. Jacob

_Short(er) chapter this time, gang! And I hope I did Jacob some justice :)  
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**6. JACOB  
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**Jacob POV**

She was never coming back, I had to stop kidding myself. Up until this point she hadn't listened to reason, why should she start now? I couldn't believe I had once again put everything on the line for her when I knew she was just going to break my heart again. Just like last time. And the time before that. I deserved it though, it was stupid and careless of me to think that I had a chance after he had offered her everything and more. What did I possess that even compared to what Edward could give her? Of course there are things that money can't buy, and those were all I could hold onto and hope that it was enough to make her realize that I was the right choice. But then again, I was only lying to myself. None of it mattered. Not even the fact that I was foolish enough to drop down on one knee and present her with my mother's ring. It was the last option I had and yet it still wouldn't make a difference. Well, so far it hadn't made a damn bit of difference and I felt sick just thinking about it. I knew at the time it probably wouldn't change her mind, but I selfishly did it anyway. It would have been better had she just kicked me in the face while I knelt down it front of her, it probably would have hurt less. Instead I had to live with this anguish of waiting days for an answer I was dreading to hear, and it was all my fault. All my idiotic, selfish, stupid fault.

I suddenly came back to reality just in time to realize I had already hammered the nail I'd been holding into the wall, and had made several deep holes in the wood with the blunt end. I let the hammer fall to the ground and leaned against the frame of the hallway, taking a deep breath. I hated keeping up the false hope that she'd pick me, and I hated even more the fact that I'd have to stand my ground and walk away when she ultimately made her decision. I still questioned if I even had the strength to walk away. I would walk away, I couldn't do this to myself anymore. She ruined my life. I became this monster because of her love for a vampire and in the end I knew I would lose her, along with my ability to feel affection towards anyone else. She ruined my life, and I adore her. I completely, eternally, adore her.

My initial strength had left me and I no longer wanted to waste another moment working on the house, it suddenly seemed a futile effort. I decided to take a break and clear my head. As I stepped out into the fresh air, I surveyed the land that came with the property and tried to dispel the images I'd conjured up before. Bella's truck would never be parked next to the Rabbit in the broken-down garage. Her freshly laundered clothes wouldn't hang from the line in the front yard, nor would our children play hide-and-seek in the woods outside our kitchen window. I turned around and set my gaze on the house, which now seemed to mock me. I stared at the decrepit house and the emptiness stared back. The hours of sweat and labor I had put into the property were of no use, and the house looked exactly like it had when I decided to take on this impossible project. I had failed. Not just at building a house, but at building a future. No matter what I gave her, it was never going to be enough to overcome the love she felt for Edward. When I first came across the house, I was sure it was what I needed to win Bella's heart. I had put everything on the line, gave her everything I could afford to give, but now I had to accept that she deserved better. She had found someone better than me, and at least I could live with the knowledge that she would be taken care of.

Even as I tried to talk myself out of it, the sound of someone approaching the house behind me caused my heart to pound in my chest. For a moment I allowed myself to believe that I had been wrong and I was going to turn around to find Bella, my Bella, standing in front of me telling me everything I needed to hear. Everything that was necessary for me to breathe, necessary for me to live. I tried to not let the disappointment show as I turned and caught sight of Leah coming across the front yard.

"Hey Jake," she smiled apprehensively at me. "Thought I'd come over and see the place."

I watched her approach and my heart sank as I recalled the exuberance I felt when Bella had visited. I felt no such joy now, no desire to pull Leah into my arms, but I greeted her with as much cheerfulness as I could muster. "It's a work in progress," I shrugged.

"I can see that," Leah looked past me and raised an eyebrow at the shingles hanging off the walls of the house. "But at least it's your own place, right?"

"Yeah, I guess. Come in, I'll show you around." I turned towards the front door and Leah followed. The interior of the house had dried out a significant amount since I had patched the hole in the roof, but it still possessed its musty odor.

"Jake, this is great," Leah glanced around, obviously looking past all the half-finished projects I had abandoned. She gave me a rare smile. "I'm impressed."

I cringed a little, not wanting to let her down too with the news that I had given up on the entire plan. "Thanks," I mumbled.

"Looks like you still have a lot of work to do," she turned back to face me, a supportive tone in her voice. "If you ever need any extra help, you know where to find me."

I smiled warmly at her. "Thanks, Leah. I may take you up on that, and you may end up regretting the offer."

Leah seemed to fidget in front of me, but kept her gaze on my face. "I don't think I will."

We stood for a few moments, both waiting for the other to speak, and I was surprised to find myself taking advantage of the awkward silence. It was the first time I had spent time studying Leah's features and I was starting to become aware of just how beautiful she was. She seemed unsure of herself and as I continued to gaze at her, she folded her arms across her chest. The clothes she wore hugged her curves, and her long black hair framed her dark skin perfectly. I caught myself staring into her black eyes and I suddenly cleared my throat, breaking her gaze and stepping around her into the kitchen. I opened the door to the refrigerator and took out two sodas, twisting the caps off with the corner of my t-shirt.

"We can sit outside if you'd like," I gestured to the front door. "I wouldn't advice you to sit on any furniture in here."

I watched Leah tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "At least your fridge works," she pointed out.

"No," I smiled, opening the door for her. "It's just a storage space right now. Hope you don't mind warm soda."

She laughed as we sat on the decaying front steps to the house, and I handed her a bottle.

"Thanks," she took it from me.

As we sat in silence, I realized how alike we had become. We had both been destroyed by the person we loved the most, and the reality was beginning to settle in that that person had moved on. Even though they weren't physical, Leah and I carried the same scars. Scars that no matter how invincible we both were, they were never going to heal.

"It's wonderful what you're doing, Jacob." Her praise stung even more now that I knew it was all for nothing.

I kicked at a stone. "Lots of good it did." I noticed her watching me out of the corner of my eye and I realized there was no reason in hiding anything. She would know soon enough. "I proposed to Bella."

I sensed Leah stiffen next to me. "Oh," she said after a few moments.

"And it's been three days."

Leah fixed her gaze in front of her again and remained silent.

"I don't know," I took another sip from the bottle in my hand. "I had to try, I guess. Maybe it was the reality check I needed to finally move on." Once I said it out loud, the words hurt more than I imagined they would. It took my breath away, like someone had punched me in the stomach. Thankfully Leah remained quiet as I struggled to find the strength to speak again.

"I'm an awful bridesmaid."

Leah spoke first and I could barely hear her. Her voice was lifeless. I glanced over at her and her gaze was still fixed on something in front of her. She slowly turned to me, deep sorrow in her eyes.

"Sam and Emily," she attempted to force a smile. "That was why I came over here, I had to get away from all the wedding talk. It just got to be too much."

"Oh." I watched her rest her head in her arms and sigh deeply. "I guess that's coming up soon."

"Yeah, it is." She sighed again. "Part of me was foolishly hoping it would never happen."

"I'm sorry, Leah."

"What are you sorry for?" she sneered. "They're happy, that's all that matters."

I recognized the usual façade that Leah had to hide behind while we were together as a pack, but as I watched she slowly began to fall apart. I could tell she was fighting back tears, and I was sure that she used me as an excuse to leave any sort of festivities. It must have been brutal for her, and I knew I had to chose my words carefully.

"I know how you feel," I said quietly.

Leah finally gave into her grief and her strong features dissolved as she put her face in her hands. Once I heard her gentle sobs, I set down my soda and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. She willingly settled against my chest, struggling to pull herself back together, but I knew she didn't have the strength. Instead I let her cry in my arms until she eventually quieted and her breathing became more even. She wiped her eyes and tried to push away from me, but I held her fast.

"I'm fine," she whispered.

"Shut up." I wrapped my arms tighter around her, and she made no attempts to resist. I realized that not only did she need my embrace, but I needed hers as well. We remained that way for a few moments, each of us holding the other together as we struggled to accept our fates.

"Thanks," she mumbled.

"No problem."

"If you ask me Jake," Leah pushed away from me and looked into my eyes. "She's a moron, and you deserve better than that."

"Yeah, thanks," I forced a smile. "Wish I felt the same."

Leah rolled her eyes at my lack of enthusiasm. "Great. Are we going to have to hear all about this for the next few months, because I'm not the only one who's sick of hearing about her, Jake."

I glared down at her accusing stare. "I'm working on it. Like I enjoy watching your long lost love scenes with Sam."

Leah become rigid in my arms. "How many times are you going to watch her choose the vampire before you finally get that she's never going to choose you?"

I bristled. "And how long are you going to hold on to the hope that Sam will wake up one day and realize that he made a mistake? He imprinted on Emily, remember? We can't control that."

I watched the fire in Leah's dark eyes diminish, and she seemed to go slack in my arms. "I know that," she scowled at me. "And did you imprint on Bella?"

"…No, I didn't." Her question stunned me for a second and I looked away from her accusing stare. "But it doesn't matter."

"Actually it does," Leah argued with me. "You're not bound to her by anything. You can move on."

"Then why haven't _you_ moved on?" I glanced back over at her in time to watch something shift in Leah's features. For a moment I thought she was going to cry again, until she fixed a gaze on me that made my stomach drop. Suddenly she grabbed a fistful of my shirt and pulled me closer to her.

"I'm trying all the time," she whispered in defiance.

Before I could respond, Leah leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine, holding me captive with all her strength. As surprised as I was, I couldn't bring myself to push her away and she sighed against me as I closed my eyes and gave in to the unfamiliar embrace. I gently ran my fingers through her dark hair and traced the copper skin of her jaw line. As our kiss intensified, I wondered if I had been ignorant to what had been in front of me the entire time. Maybe I hadn't given Leah enough of a chance to get to know her, but as the kiss continued, my heart began to sink as I waited for something to change.

I felt nothing.

Apparently Leah felt something more intense as she clumsily got up and dropped herself into my lap, barely breaking the passionate kiss. She had a frantic hold on me but after a few minutes she began to falter, no doubt feeling my immobility. She reluctantly withdrew her lips from mine but kept her gaze to the ground, too embarrassed to look at me. My hands still held her face, her skin burning into mine. I gently tilted her head up so that she was forced to look at me and I sighed heavily as a single tear escaped from one of her piercing eyes. I gently wiped it away with a finger.

"Leah, I'm so sorry," I began.

"Save it," she snapped at me. She pushed my hands away and stood back up to her full height. She quickly turned on her heels and began to walk back towards the forest.

Before she could change forms, I had jumped up from the ledge and came in step right behind her. "Leah, please don't go," I pleaded.

"Back off Jake," she warned. I couldn't see her face, but by the way her voice cracked I knew she was trying to hide behind her tough exterior again.

"Don't do this, Leah." I hated myself for allowing her to sense my hesitation. I wished I could have reciprocated her feelings, but I knew it would have been an empty promise and I couldn't put her through that.

She suddenly turned to face me and I almost crashed into her. "I'm not shifting," she snapped at me, her black hair wild around her eyes that were rimmed with tears. "That's the last thing I need right now is for everyone to be in my head, reading my thoughts!" She turned her back to me and started off in the same direction again. "I'll walk home."

I quickly followed and grabbed her arm. "Leah, at least let me drive you-"

"No!" She ripped her arm out of my grasp without breaking her stride. "I'm so sick of this! Not only am I completely humiliated over what just happened, but now I get to look forward to reliving it through everyone else!"

"Leah please, just stop," I grabbed her shoulders and forced her to turn around and look at me. "I'll talk to the pack about it before it even becomes an issue. I'm sure everyone's going to be too focused on the wedding anyway."

Leah swayed on her feet and gazed up at me with a look of complete surrender. "Jake, just let me go."

"Let me take you home," I held her closer in an attempt to steady her. For the first time, she felt as if she would break in my arms.

Leah shook her head slowly, and a pitiful smile spread across her lips. "She's lucky, you know."

I loosened my grip on her.

She reached up and gently placed her hand on the side of my face. "You're a good person, Jacob. And what I wouldn't give to have you look at me the way you look at her," Leah's voice trailed off. "Maybe I had that once. I'd like to think I did."

I watched her stare off into the distance until she focused her attention back on me.

"But I'm not about to pretend that you feel the same way that I do."

I opened my mouth to protest but she shook her head, immediately dismissing me.

"It's okay," she withdrew her hand from my face. "Just please understand, I need to be alone for a while. I can get home alright."

She slowly turned and walked away from my embrace, but I didn't have the strength to stop her this time. My hands began to tremble and I took a deep breath, trying to control the rage that surged through my veins. I didn't need the pack reading my thoughts either and I watched Leah until she disappeared into the woods, leaving me alone once again. The comprehension slowly began to materialize as I turned and began making my way back to the house, seriously considering burning the entire structure to the ground.

This is what my life had become. For now, I seemed destined to be alone, but I couldn't completely shake the hope that maybe one day I would imprint. I would set my eyes on a nice girl who would make my entire world complete, and she would give my life purpose and meaning. I wouldn't need to worry about making any choices, they would be made for me. I would never be able to give her the love I felt for Bella, but I would make up for it with my unrelenting devotion to her. Now, I began to realize that I could no longer continue holding out hope that there was one person who possessed the ability to make my soul complete. Instead, I would have to continue to stumble through my life, with no clear reason for my existence. I was exhausted, discouraged, broken. And frightened, now that I realized I would have to deal with all this on my own.

Another sound made me stop in the middle of the clearing and I had to close my eyes again, concentrating on keeping my breathing even. The undeniably familiar sound of Bella's truck rang in my ears, as much as I tried to block it out. I couldn't handle this now, I couldn't handle her inevitable rejection after what I had just done to Leah. I clenched my fists closed to try to stop the shaking as I heard the truck groan through the thick underbrush and come to a stop a few feet behind me. The engine ceased, enveloping me in silence again.

Eventually I forced myself to look over my shoulder and caught sight of Bella in the driver's seat, watching me intently. There was no mistaking the fact that she'd been crying, no doubt agonizing over how best to break my heart again on the drive over here. Any way to make it easier on her, so that she could return to Edward and spend the rest of her nights telling herself that I had moved on and that it had been the better decision for both of us. Either way, at least my suffering would be over soon as I watched her jump out of the truck's cabin and close the door behind her. She kept a significant distance between the two of us as I slowly turned around to face her while bracing myself, as I had promised, for the last time.

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_I can't help it - I still love Leah's character. I think she's awesome.  
Thanks for reading!! :D_


	7. Truth

_I know, I know... I left quite a cliff-hanger in Chapter 6, I'm sorry :( Hopefully this chapter makes up for it! :)_

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**7. TRUTH**

I awoke the next morning in a daze, groaning as the grey morning light stung my eyes. I could tell they were still swollen from all my crying the previous day and a dull ache had settled in my head. In an attempt to stretch the aches from my joints I accidentally pulled at the open wound in my chest, temporarily cutting off my breath and making me clutch at my shirt in agony. A fresh bath of tears pushed against the backs of my eyes as the memories of what I had done yesterday came back all at once; my rejection of Edward, and the reminder that I would probably never see him again. I paused and took a deep breath, reminding myself that I had been through this before. This was just the first morning in a series of mornings, and the first would always hurt the most. While the pain subsided, I reflected back on my time spent in Forks and where I had ended up. Soon I grew angry and frustrated with myself. I was in such pain because I had lost my focus and I had allowed myself to become nearly obsessed with Edward. It had not only destroyed me once, but twice. I decided then that I didn't want to do this anymore. I didn't want to make someone else so important in my life, make them the entire reason for my existence, that I end up losing myself again. I had to believe that I deserved better than that.

I forced myself to get out of bed, but when I swung my legs from underneath the blankets, my foot brushed against something heavy that sat on the floor. My eyes slowly focused in front of me, and I found all the packed boxes that I had left in Edward's car. He must have dropped them off last night while I slept. Their presence was like pouring acid on the wound and I knew I didn't have the strength to deal with them now. I dressed quickly, in a hurry to get out the door as the agony threatened to pull me under again. Every time it settled, I knew I only had a few minutes before another thought or memory would creep across my vision, causing me to gasp for air again.

While the pain was tolerable, I remembered a task I had been putting off for too long. With a little apprehension, I opened a couple boxes until I found what I was searching for. I lifted my ancient computer from the box and set it on my desk, plugging it in and switching on the power. As the machine started up with a grunt, I brushed the dust off the monitor wondering when the last time was I even used it. After what seemed like an eternity waiting for the desktop to appear, I clicked on my e-mail account and groaned as hundreds of documents from Renee glared at me with their bold headlines. I bypassed their messages that probably meant nothing by now and opened up a blank e-mail. I pulled up my chair and sat down with a sigh, wondering where I should even begin.

_Hi Mom. I'm sorry I haven't been in touch for a while, everything's been so crazy here…_

I paused, staring at the screen. I deleted the second sentence and started over.

_I miss you. You have no idea how much I've needed to talk to you…_

I glared at the keyboard in frustration. I highlighted the entire text and deleted it. I forced my fingers to type, refusing to look up at the screen to read what I was writing.

_Mom, I broke up with Edward._

I hit the "Send" button before I had a second to question it. I switched off the computer and pushed myself up from the chair, wanting desperately to get out of the house. I grabbed the nearest sweatshirt that sat on top of one of the boxes, and as I picked it up, something fell to the floor that had been underneath it. My heart froze as I picked the photograph off the floor. It was the one of Edward and I that was taken when I cared about little else except being with him, his perfect beauty still mesmerizing me. Without hesitation, I tossed it in the trashcan next to my desk, unable to handle such a reminder in my current state.

Out of habit, I reached for the bureau behind me and pulled open the small jewelry drawer. I paused when I realized only Jacob's engagement ring lay in the wood box. Ignoring the dull throbbing in my chest, I slipped the ring back on my finger and surprise hit me when I realized how natural the ring felt on my skin. The delicate band fit me perfectly and I couldn't feel its weight at all. It was like I had been wearing it for years. I crossed my room, suddenly feeling like some of the weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Just as I was about to walk out the door, the shrill house phone rang in the kitchen. Not wanting it to wake Charlie, I hurried down the stairs and yanked the phone off the wall in the middle of its third ring.

"Hello!?" My voice came out almost frantic.

"Bella!?" Renee gasped. "Oh, thank God! What is going on, what happened!?" She sounded as out of breath as I was.

"Hi Mom," I sighed, leaning against the kitchen counter, relief flooding over me that I had someone to talk to. "I'm sorry if you were worried."

"Well it would help if you would answer at least one of my emails, young lady," Renee scolded me.

"I know," I apologized. "Things have been… difficult recently."

"So I've heard," Renee's tone softened. "Sweetie, what happened between you and Edward?"

I paused. "You got my e-mail already?"

"Well, I've been practically sitting at my computer all day and night waiting to hear from you!" Renee exclaimed. "I was just writing you another threatening message about how if I didn't hear from you soon, I was going to file a missing person's report! And that's when I got your reply."

I sighed heavily.

"Do you want to talk about it, honey?"

I attempted to swallow the lump that was beginning to gather in my throat. "I don't really know what to say, Mom. Things just got… complicated." I closed my eyes and the memory of Edward's hurt expression flashed in my mind, cutting off my ability to speak momentarily.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," Renee's comforting tone cut into my thoughts. "Are you alright?"

I attempted to quietly sniff back tears, but I knew she heard me. "I'm doing the best I can."

"I'm sure it hurts now Bella, and I know how much you meant to Edward. I noticed that when I first saw the two of you together."

I couldn't stop the tears that now flowed freely down my cheeks. I held the phone away from my face so that my mother wouldn't hear my gentle sobs.

"But I'm proud of you for being honest with him, honey," Renee continued. "Just take everything a day at a time. If you made the right choice, you'll know soon enough."

I shifted the phone back to my lips. "But I can't even begin to imagine how much I hurt him," I sobbed.

"I'm sure he's upset," Renee agreed. "But Bella, at least you told him now. Try to imagine how much you both would have suffered had you gone through with the wedding, feeling the way you did."

"I know, Mom," I wiped the tears from my eyes with the sleeve of my sweatshirt. "You're right."

"Trust me," Renee's voice got quiet. "It's not a comfortable position to be in, and I would not have wanted you to go through that. I know it's difficult, but it sounds like you made the right choice."

I winced at the thought of Renee having to leave Charlie, no doubt having the same apprehensions I had. Although they had already invested in a house and a child together.

"Sweetie, do you want me to come up for a visit?"

"No Mom," I ran a hand through my hair. "It's alright, you don't have to."

"It's no problem, Bella," Renee insisted. "I'll take some time off work and Phil will understand. If you need me in Forks just say the words, you know I'll be on the next plane."

"I appreciate it Mom," I assured her. "But I'll be alright, I have Charlie here. I mean, I miss you and I would love to see you, but you don't have to trouble yourself. I have people here who will take care of me."

Renee paused. "You mean Jacob, right Bella?" I could hear the smile in her voice.

I was surprised to find a grin tugging on the corners of my mouth and a warmth spread through my chest at the sound of his name. "Well, I-"

"Bella, be careful," Renee cautioned. "Don't let Jacob become your latest addiction when you haven't completely taken care of other business yet. You know how much you mean to him."

"I know," I paused for a moment. "Wait, how do you know this Mom?"

"I don't miss much," I heard her sigh. "I remember you two growing up together, and I knew back then that you held a special place in Jacob's heart. I'm sure his affection has only grown over the years."

I smiled warmly, the tears drying on my face.

"Also I speak to Charlie every once in a while," Renee admitted. "He's mentioned to me the relationship between the two of you a couple times."

"Great," I mumbled, slightly embarrassed. I wasn't used to both parents having detailed discussions about my life.

"Bella, Charlie and I have always liked Jacob," Renee continued. "But you need to take care of you first. I know he's your best friend, but don't feel like you need to be everything to everybody right now. I'm sure your decision to leave Edward has made Jacob very happy, am I right?"

I traced a grout line on the tile floor with my sneaker. "I actually haven't told Jacob yet," I admitted.

"Oh, well. That's probably a good idea," Renee stated. "All I'm saying Bella, is do what you need to do to be happy first. You can take care of everyone else later."

"I know, Mom. I understand what you're saying, it means a lot." For a moment I remembered back to the conversation I had with Rosalie. She was right, I desperately needed my mother's advice and approval. Now that I had it, I discovered I was able to breathe a little easier.

"Last chance," Renee's voice cut into my thoughts again. "Do I need to buy a plane ticket to Washington?"

I smiled. "No, Mom. I think I'm alright now. Thanks for the phone call, I didn't realize how much I needed it."

"Anytime, sweetie. You know you can call me whenever you need me, I'm more than happy to hear from you. Or you can always e-mail me," she paused. "Just make sure it's every couple weeks or so, you're going to give your poor mother a heart attack."

I laughed. "Alright, I can deal with that."

"Fair enough," Renee established. "I'll let you go. Take care of yourself, Bella. And please call me if you need anything."

"I will, thanks Mom." I suddenly felt anxious to leave the house. "I love you."

"Love you too, sweetie. Goodbye."

I hung up the phone, still hearing my mother's words in my head. Feeling like I was getting a little closer to the person I used to be, I grabbed my truck keys and let myself out of the house, locking the door behind me. I had to get to the one place I would feel whole again. I had to get to Jacob.

***

I wiped the tears that continued to blur my field of vision and struggled to keep the truck on the road as I drove to La Push. I took advantage of the fact I was alone for the moment and let go of the sobs that had built in my chest. I placed my hand over my heaving ribcage and struggled to compose myself before I reached Jacob's. I knew that Jacob wouldn't believe the real reason I had come over, and I figured that showing up crying wasn't the best idea. The trees along the side of the road began to thin out, and fragile grey sunlight began to filter easier through the branches as I drew closer to La Push. My breathing slowly began to return to normal, and the last few tears slide down my cheek. I was grateful for the calm that eventually settled over me. I knew it wouldn't last long, but for that moment I could breathe.

I blinked as something crossed the road in front of me and I screamed as I slammed on the break pedal, closing my eyes to avoid witnessing the crash. There was no way I was going to stop in time. The breaks locked up and I skidded on the slick road and instinctively I yanked the emergency brake, waiting for the impact. My truck groaned as the wheel shook violently in my hand, and I came to a stop sideways in the middle of the road, inches from the form who stood in front of the right headlight. I opened my eyes in disbelief that I had managed to avoid the inevitable accident. I caught my breath and shoved the driver's side door open, jumping out onto the pavement. I slammed the door shut and glared at Edward.

"What the hell are you doing, have you completely lost your mind!?" I snapped at him.

Edward walked slowly away from me into the middle of the road. His jet black eyes glared at me, all emotion drained from his features. "Where are you going, Bella?"

"Seriously, Edward!? Are you following me!?" I continued to yell, too annoyed and startled to continue my grieving.

"No, I haven't been following you," he took a few steps sideways, slowly circling me. "I'm just out hunting."

"Oh," I felt my anger slowly dissolve as I watched him glare at me. The reminder of what I'd put him through just yesterday released the rest of my tension and I remained where I stood, feeling the exhaustion hit me again. I allowed myself to gaze into Edward's lifeless eyes for a moment, the pain in my chest temporarily relieved by his presence. Edward stopped pacing in front of me and we remained standing in front of each other. He also seemed to relax as each of us stared at the other, neither of us breaking the silence. We kept a safe distance between us, neither really knowing what to say.

Edward forced an awkward smile. "Also Bella, you know your truck isn't easy to hide."

I glanced over my shoulder at my truck, idling noisily behind me. The air of discomfort seemed to lift a little as I fixed my gaze back on him. As I beheld Edward again, a new unsettling feeling began to come over me. Like previous situations I had managed to get myself into, I was alone. Isolated. However this time, I wasn't sure what side I was on, and I wasn't sure that I had anyone to come to my rescue.

Edward stood in front of me. Poised. Silent. Lethal. Only a few days ago I never would have imagined being afraid of him. But now, knowing that I had taken away the last thing that made him human, a new trigger of fear shot through me. I was aware of what he was capable of, and I possessed more knowledge about his family that I should. I was a mortal, and I knew too much.

He must have sensed my body tense up because his smile slowly dissolved and he automatically took a defensive stance. A slight breeze blew through the trees and Edward tilted his chin towards it, no doubt catching my scent. I remembered how difficult it was for him to resist me when we were in love, and now I felt my heart beat out of my chest as I grasped that he may not show the same restraint now. He no longer had a reason to. He fixed his gaze back on my face, unable to hide the hunger that boiled in his ebony eyes.

Panic slowly rose to my throat as I hopelessly glanced around us. Deep down I told myself Edward would never hurt me. Even though I had just broken his heart, I couldn't bear the thought that he would ever do me any harm. But as my surroundings came into view and I recognized where I was, an icy chill ran down my back.

"Edward," my voice trembled. "You're past the treaty line." I shifted my eyes and caught Edward's crooked smile, however it no longer held the same pleasure it used to. Now, as he sneered at me on the desolate road I felt the unfamiliar sense of terror. Like a deer frozen in front of a predator. I watched him look at me with pity.

"What's it to you, Bella?" He took a step closer to me.

"You know what this means, Edward." My eyes followed his every movement. "Don't do this."

He glared at me. "What's stopping me now? You're heading over there to see him now anyway, aren't you?"

I could no longer speak, no longer breathe. Edward knew I meant nothing to him anymore, I had chosen someone else over him after I had promised to love him forever. I was now just another pitiful human in his eyes, the same human he had thirsted over when I first came to Forks, but he never took the opportunity to follow his instincts. Now years later, as I stood frozen in front of him, there was little holding him back from destroying me. I could only pray that he would make it quick and painless.

Edward suddenly broke his intense stare and looked at the road behind me. I watched another smirk pull across his face as he stole one last glance at me, then he turned and ran across the road and into the forest, disappearing in an instant. My breath escaped in a gasp and I realized I was trembling.

The car horn sounding behind me nearly made me jump out of my skin. I whirled around and caught the stare of a confused driver who had come to a stop behind my truck.

"You alright, sweetie?" The woman sat leaning out of the driver's side window.

The look on my face must have caused her more concern, but I waved and began to make my way back to my truck. "Sorry, thought I hit a deer."

I quickly opened the driver's side door and climbed back into the cab, unable to shake the chill I still felt. I hadn't been afraid of Edward in a long time, and the feeling had left me unsettled. I pushed the accelerator down too quickly and spun the tires, suddenly needing to be somewhere familiar and safe.

***

Soon I had turned down the familiar path that led to Jacob's and settled into the tire tracks that were now beginning to cut a smoother path through the rough terrain. Even though my chest still ached and I had nearly shaken the unfamiliar fear of Edward's presence, I couldn't help the warmth that began to build in my heart as I crawled closer and closer to Jacob. He had always been my sun, the light in my darkness, and now I knew I needed him more than ever. I pushed the needle into the red zone, ignoring the awful sounds coming from the engine as I finally broke through the thick forest and stopped at the edge of the clearing. I shut off the engine and listened to my heavy breathing in the stillness, feeling all the weight of the past few days on my shoulders.

I stared through the windshield at Jacob, who had been standing in the middle of the clearing as I drove up, facing away from me. The muscles in his arms and shoulders were tense and I could tell by his clenched fists that he was angry. His stance didn't change as he slowly looked over one shoulder and I caught his piercing gaze. The joy I had felt on my approach to the house became short-lived as I realized how much I had hurt Jacob. My reluctance at this decision had been torturous for me, but I had never though about how agonizing it must have been for him to await my answer. I could now see it in his eyes. Being unable to witness his pain any longer, I pushed the truck door open and jumped out, coming to stand a few feet away from him. Jacob slowly turned to face me, a look of anguish and exhaustion on his face that made my heart ache. I couldn't make sense of all the thoughts slamming around in my brain, and I didn't know what to tell him first. I also worried if he would even believe me, especially given the way he was glaring at me. The two of us continued to stare at each other in silence, me not knowing where to start, Jacob refusing to give me any indication as to what he wanted from me. Although he probably felt as if he'd said enough and now it was my turn. He was right.

I smiled tentatively. "Hey Jake," I began.

"Bella."

His lifeless voice took me back a second, and I began to wonder if I even had a chance anymore. That thought terrified me and I pushed it into the recesses of my mind. Suddenly I became unsure of myself, unsure of what to say to make him stop glaring at me the way he was. I drew in an unsteady breath. "How are you?"

He seemed to sneer at me. "How do you think I've been?"

I fixed my gaze on the ground, unable to continue watching him stare at me with such resentment. I knew I deserved it and it was nothing compared to what I had put him through, but it hurt nonetheless. "I'm sorry," I whispered, but I wasn't sure if he heard me.

I heard Jacob sigh. "What do you want, Bella?"

The way he phrased his question no longer seemed to allow me the option, and when I returned my gaze to his face I was met with a look of irritation. My knees trembled, and I knew my voice would surely do the same.

"Jake, I am so sorry…"

"Don't worry about it Bells," Jacob took a few steps away from me. "It's nothing I haven't already dealt with before."

I knew he couldn't comprehend what I was saying, and even though my heart threatened to beat out of my chest in his presence, the weight of today held me back from the embrace I desperately wanted to give him. I knew that before I could offer him everything he ever wanted, first I needed to make amends.

"Jake," I began again, forcing myself to find the words. "I've put you through hell, and I don't deserve you."

"So, that's your excuse?" Jacob growled. "Don't insult me, Bella. I wouldn't have proposed to you if I thought I was wasting my time."

"I just need to apologize," my heart ached as I watched my best friend, my true love, glare at me in utter disgust.

"Don't bother," Jacob crossed his arms over his broad chest. "Don't make it any worse than it already is, just go back to _him_."

The scar throbbed when Jacob mentioned Edward, and suddenly my throat tightened as I thought of Edward's lifeless eyes staring into mine as he stood in front of me on the road, his crooked grin as he disappeared into the forest. That was probably the last time I would ever see him. The grief hit me so fast that my eyes welled up with tears, choking off the words I frantically had to say.

Jacob took my trembling lip the wrong way and rolled his eyes, slowly backing up even further. "I'm not about to comfort you again, Bella." I watched the pain flicker in his eyes as he forced himself to walk away from me. "You've made your choice, and I'm done waiting."

"Jake, please-"

Jacob turned his back to me and I watched him take heavy steps towards the house. His shoulders were slumped and his fists clutched in anger. Through my tear-filled eyes, I thought I saw his strong body tremble.

"Jake!" I forced out of my tight throat, my legs refusing to carry me after him. He continued in the same direction with long strides, and I realized I needed to tell him everything to make him stop. "I didn't choose Edward!"

My knees threatened to buckle as I watched Jacob come to a halt in the middle of the front yard. He hesitantly glanced over his shoulder at me and I could see the disbelief in his eyes.

With tears spilling down my cheeks, I let a smile pull across my face as I shrugged. "I didn't choose him."

Jacob turned back to my direction and I watched his entire body freeze as he caught sight of my left hand. I looked down, for a moment forgetting what I was wearing. I slowly brought up my left hand and held it in front of my face, staring at Jacob's engagement ring on my finger. Smiling back at Jacob I slowly shook my head, feeling the tears spill down my cheeks.

"I didn't choose him."

Jacob closed the distance between us as fast as his human form could carry him and pulled my trembling form into his arms, kissing me feverishly. He placed both his hands on the small of my back, holding me against him as we both cried tears of joy. I was grateful that he was holding me up and whatever unhappy feelings I still held from saying goodbye to Edward melted away as Jacob placed one of my hands over his heart.

"Thank you," he whispered into my hair as he kissed the top of my head. His heart pounded against my hand as he held it there with his unbelievable strength. He took a couple deep sighs of contentment, as if my touch was all that was able to make him breathe again. "Thank you," he continued to whisper above me, almost to himself since his eyes were shut tight. "Thank you, thank you, thank you…"

I reached up and put my left hand on his cheek, gently wiping away a few tears. Jacob opened his eyes and gazed into mine, causing my heart to swell as I realized all the previous hostility in his gaze had been replaced with complete adoration. "I love you Jake," I whispered, loving the way the words tasted.

Jacob closed his eyes again and placed his forehead against mine. "Please say that again."

I smiled. "I love you, Jacob Black."

Jacob pulled me closer and leaned down for another deep kiss that made my knees weak. With little effort, he picked me up off the ground and positioned me on the hood of my truck. I set my feet on the front bumper and Jacob placed his hands on either side of me, making sure I was secure. He leaned against the grill of the truck with my knees on either side of his chest, and finally I sat comfortably at his eye level.

"I love you too, Isabella Swan." Jacob lifted my left hand and intertwined our fingers, gazing down at my engagement ring.

I blushed as he shifted his stare back to my eyes. "Is this you saying yes to my proposal?"

"Yes," I blushed, watching the smile I adored so much spread across Jacob's face and I knew that was all he had been waiting to hear. "I'm sorry it took me so long for me to figure everything out."

"I've waited all this time Bells," Jacob shook his head. "And I had myself convinced that I would walk away for good the next time you broke my heart. I hate to admit this, but I would never be able to stay away from you for very long. I would have waited forever if I knew that one day you would be mine."

I smiled warmly as I watched Jacob study every feature on my face. His overwhelming joy warmed the dark recesses of my chest as he leaned forward and captured my lips in another passionate kiss. Jacob pulled me against him as he took advantage of no longer holding himself back. Soon he let me go, leaving me just as hot and flushed as his skin was to the touch.

"I still can't believe you chose me Bells," Jacob whispered. "It was something I always wanted, but I thought for certain that it would never happen."

"What can I do to convince you, Jake?"

Jacob reached down and picked up my left hand again, running his thumb over my ring. "This is enough," he smiled at me. "I'm sure it'll take a while for me to realize this is real, but every time I forget," he squeezed my hand. "This will remind me."

He placed my hand back on his chest, and his heart beat against my palm again. We remained in silence for a while, enjoying each other's company. I glanced up at him and Jacob stood motionless in front of me, his eyes closed again, his breathing deep and even. I reached up and touched the soft skin on his cheek and he leaned into my embrace. "Jake," I whispered, wondering what was going through his mind.

Jacob's eyes captured mine with an intensity that nearly took my breath away. I had never before seen him gaze at me with such adoration, and a sudden thought gave me chills.

Jacob took a deep breath and slowly sighed, never taking his gaze from mine. "I didn't think it would feel like this," he whispered, almost to himself. "I never thought this would happen to me."

I trembled as he placed his hand on my face, the other still held my hand over his heart. "Jake, did you... imprint?"

"I don't know," Jacob shook his head, almost like he was trying to wake himself up from a dream. "But I can't imagine it was anything else. It's like nothing I've ever experienced."

"But," I stared at him in disbelief, loving the feel of his heartbeat against my skin. "I thought you didn't imprint on me."

"I didn't think so either," Jacob sighed. "I spent all this time forcing myself to stay away from you and not express my true feelings for you, but when you came here and told me everything I needed to hear," Jacob squeezed my hand that still lay on his heart. "Everything I needed to breathe, everything I needed to live. Bella, everything is just the way it should be. When you said that you loved me, when you gave me permission to love you back, my life became complete. _You_ are my life now, Bella. My entire existence is to keep you happy, to keep you safe… And if that isn't imprinting, then I don't know what is."

"But-"

"Don't worry about it Bells," Jacob cut off my words and looked deep into my eyes. "It doesn't matter if I imprinted or not, I don't care about that. What matters is that you're here, with me, and nothing's going to change that. Not as long as I'm breathing."

My heart swelled as my fiancé captured my lips in another tender kiss, leaving my head spinning and me wondered why it had taken me so long to realize where I belonged. But at least I was here now.

* * *

_Hooray! :D  
I'm currently developing my next set of chapters, so I apologize if I'm M.I.A. for a little while... Plus I need to catch up on reading all your fanfics! Life can get a little crazy sometimes, which it is at the moment... But I promise I'll update a.s.a.p! Thanks for all your support, reviews, PM's... You guys are awesome! ;D_


	8. Family

_Well, it took a sick day off work for me to be able to update :/ I had to crank out another chapter for you guys, since I know it's been a while… My job is slowly crushing my soul, so I have decided that I need to quit and find a job that doesn't make me work 6 days a week until 6PM. Really, it's killing my happenin' social life… And I have no time to write!_

_Currently watching The Golden Girls in my PJ's. Why can't I get paid for THIS!?_

* * *

**8. FAMILY**

**4 Months Later**

I opened my eyes to the late summer sun that had crept through the windows, reaching towards my bed. It was a rare and welcome sight, and I sat up in an anxious mood. The sunshine would make working on the house a lot more enjoyable I though as I jumped out of bed. I rooted through the pile of clothes on my floor from the previous months of helping Jacob out with the house, searching for a shirt or pair of jeans with the least amount of wear and tear on them. I hadn't bothered washing them because of how filthy I would get the next day, so I had resorted to just leaving everything in a pile and disposing of things that became too worn.

The pile of clothes sat next to the stack of boxes that I had never bothered to unpack. Having being shoved out of the way, most of them were dented and half opened, allowing access to the necessary items. I shook out an old t-shirt that was covered in sawdust and pulling it over my head. I found a pair of jeans that possessed only one hole in the knee, and laced up my construction boots that Jacob had bought me.

I pulled the mess of hair off my neck and made my way downstairs, but paused in the hallway at the sound of Billy's voice followed by Charlie's. Charlie must have picked Billy up for the afternoon game, and the two of them sounded like they were in the kitchen. The television was on in the living room, but they seemed too focused on their current conversation to care. I crept down the stairs a little, straining to hear their discussion.

"There are a few nice locations in La Push," I heard Billy say in-between sips from a cup of coffee. "There's always First Beach."

"First Beach? How the hell would we get you down there?" Charlie laughed. "I don't know, it's not like I've been active in any local churches myself."

I knitted my brow, wondering exactly what on earth they were talking about.

"I'm sure they'll figure something out," Billy seemed to be smiling. "We could always use your backyard."

"That's a good idea," Charlie got something out of the refrigerator and made his way back over to the table. "I guess it depends on how many guests there are."

I put my hand over my mouth in an attempt to stifle laughter as I leaned against the wall in the hallway. They couldn't possibly be discussing what I though they were.

Well, I put a call in to a fellow I went to school with. He owns a printing business in town," Charlie sat down in one of the chairs. "He did the wedding invitations for me and Renee, I might as well see what kind of deal I can get for Bella."

I closed my eyes and slowly shook my head. I couldn't believe my father and Jacob's father were really sitting in the kitchen planning my wedding.

"I'm glad things worked out," I heard Billy say quietly. "You can only lead them in one direction for so long before you have to let them go and hope you taught them wrong from right."

"Yeah," came Charlie's response. "I'm just so glad Bella finally gave Jacob a chance. I always thought he was the right choice for her."

"Well," I could hear the smile in Billy's voice. "I've always been very fond of Bella, ever since she was a little kid. Those two grew up together, which makes it even more special that we're now looking forward to a wedding."

I forced back the tears that had began to gather in my eyes. Both father's words touched my heart, but I knew I had to get to Jacob's place soon. Plus, I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear more unsettling plans from either party. I continued my decent into the kitchen, and was met with Billy and Charlie's startled gazes.

"So," Charlie awkwardly cleared his throat and looked back at Billy. "Minnesota's looking really good this year."

"Oh yeah, " Billy took his cue. "I should have put some money down on that game last week."

I bit my lip to keep from laughing as I grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator and put my truck keys in my pocket.

"More manual labor this morning?"

I turned and caught Billy and Charlie's amused grins. "Yes," I smiled at Charlie. "But I'm running a little late and probably won't hear the end of it."

"How's everything going?" Billy asked.

"Good," I began to make my way towards the door. "It's getting done a lot faster than Jacob anticipated."

"Guess it helps when you have a pack of able-bodied werewolves to pitch in," Billy chuckled. The both of us quickly turned to Charlie who had paled slightly.

"Dad…"

"It's ok," Charlie slowly took a sip of coffee. "I'll get used to it eventually."

"Have fun, Bella. Don't let them work you too hard," Billy called after me as I headed towards the door.

"Hey Bells," I turned at the sound of Charlie's voice and he held up his plate. "Breakfast?"

"I'll get something later, but since you offered," I crossed the room quickly and grabbed a piece of toast before Charlie could slap my hand away. "Thanks, Dad!" I stuffed the warm bread and jam into my mouth as I hurried outside, hearing Billy's muffled laughter behind me.

***

I parked the truck in the driveway, surveying the amount of work already accomplished this morning by a pack of werewolves who didn't seem to need any sleep. I jumped out of the cab and waved to Emily who stood on the front porch.

"Nice of you to join us!" Sam called from the roof as he hammered down another shingle.

I rolled my eyes as I made my way towards the house. Quil and Embry knelt on the front lawn, attempting to trim a piece of wood with a very dangerous looking electric saw.

Embry looked up as I approached, throwing a wave in my direction. "Hey Bella!"

"Damnit, Embry!" Quil shouted as he quickly powered down the saw's spinning blade. "How many times do I have to tell you!? Hold the piece of wood steady, or I'm going to cut my hand off!"

"That would be a tragedy," Embry teased. "You'd be an easy prey for the bloodsuckers too."

Quil shoved Embry, who continued his heckling, and Quil soon began to growl and tremble. I paused where I stood, ready to get out of the way should their shapes blur.

"Quil! Embry!" Sam shouted a warning from the roof.

Jacob came jogging out of the front of the house past Emily, and just the sight of him caused my heart to beat irregularly. I enjoyed the feeling his presence still brought.

"Guys, seriously?" He stepped in-between the two friends. "I'll give you something else to do if you can't handle the power tools."

"No, we're fine," Embry held his hands up defensively. "I was just saying 'Hi' to Bella."

"Don't use her as an excuse, Embry." Jacob glanced over at me and winked.

"I'm not!" Embry picked up a pair of safety goggles and chucked them at Quil, hitting him in the side of the face. Quil chose to listen to Jacob and ended up just scowling at his friend.

"Get back to work," Jacob teased them as he made his way over to me.

Quil and Embry seemed to completely forget their squabble as they lined up the slab of wood again.

"Hey beautiful," Jacob grabbed me in a tight hug and kissed the top of my head. "I missed you."

"I missed you more, trust me," I groaned against his chest. "You have no idea how quickly I had to get out of the house this morning."

"Everything ok?" Jacob leaned back from me and placed his hands on either side of my face, gazing into my eyes.

"Yes, except that our fathers are busy planning our wedding," I blushed.

"You're kidding me," Jacob's face dropped.

I slowly shook my head.

"Isn't that your job?" he asked.

"I thought so," I shrugged. "Apparently they felt as if they should step in."

Jacob grimaced and took my hand, leading me towards the house. "They're not picking out flower arrangements, are they?"

"I'm not sure," I interlaced our fingers together. "I left before I could find out."

"That was probably the best idea."

Jacob led me into the house and into the newly renovated kitchen. The oak cabinets had been set a few days ago, and Emily had been given the task of putting away all the dishes and glasses that lay across the countertops. She looked up and gave me a warm smile.

"You're back," she raised an eyebrow. "I don't know Jacob, I think you found yourself a keeper. You guys haven't scared her off yet."

"Almost," I teased as Jacob kissed the top of my head.

"We'll see after today," Jacob winked. "What do you want to work on?"

I shrugged. "Wherever you need me."

"Yesterday I had you painting," Jacob glanced around the house, which was beginning to come together faster than either of us had expected. "I'll go check on the progress in the back part of the house."

As Jacob turned and made his way through the kitchen, I allowed my gaze to travel across his broad shoulders and down his perfectly sculpted arms. His t-shirt was stained with sweat and dirt, but I liked the way it clung tightly to his skin, enhancing the slope of his torso. As I leaned back against the counter to steal one last glimpse of Jacob's tight jeans, I realized I enjoyed watching him leave just as much as watching his approach.

"I saw that."

I jumped at Emily's voice and turned towards her, my cheeks burning. She had come to stand next to me, the smile prominent on the one side of her face.

"Jacob is very handsome, isn't he?"

"Yes," I blushed wildly, running a hand through my hair. "I think so."

Emily playfully punched my arm. "I was thrilled when Sam told me you accepted Jacob's proposal. I adore Jake, and I'm so glad that everything worked out between the two of you."

"Thanks Emily, so am I," I smiled warmly at her. In an attempt to calm my blushing, I quickly changed the subject. "The wedding is coming up soon, isn't it? How exciting!"

Emily turned and pointed at the invitation Jacob had attached to the refrigerator. "Only a couple weeks left," she squealed and grabbed my hands in hers. "Bella, thank you again so much for being a bridesmaid. I know I didn't give you much notice."

"It's alright, I'm happy to do it," I grinned at her overwhelming happiness.

"Well, I know Jacob is grateful," Emily turned and began stacking a few plates. "He wasn't exactly looking forward to walking down the aisle with Leah, I can tell you that."

I winced when I remembered the relationship Leah used to have with Sam and how torturous it must have been for her these past couple months, being Emily's bridesmaid. I also considered the way Emily had mentioned Leah and Jacob, and how it seemed that Jacob didn't want to be near Leah. The silence lengthened as Emily chose to not elaborate on the relationship she saw between the two of them, and I considered asking her directly.

Quil and Embry strolled into the house as Jacob reappeared from the back hallway. He deposited a crusty tube of some sort into my hand with a grin.

"You can caulk the bathroom today."

"Great," I peeled my hand off the tube before it became stuck there permanently. "Thanks."

Embry opened the refrigerator and laughed at my general look of disgust.

Quil picked up a dishrag and tossed it to me. "Don't forget this, Bella. That stuff can get pretty messy."

Jacob shook his head at the two of them. "What are you doing in here?"

Embry opened a soda and shrugged. "Union break."

"Didn't you just take a break?"

Quil opened up a bag of pretzels that sat on the counter and shoved a few in his mouth. "That was when we didn't have anything to do!"

"I was getting the saw out of the garage!" Jacob held out his hands in surrender.

"Not our fault you took forever," Embry took another sip of soda.

I stifled laughter as Jacob clenched his jaw, no doubt reminding himself that injuring his workers wouldn't get the house done any faster.

"Jake?"

Leah suddenly appeared behind Jacob, but seemed to freeze when she caught sight of the rest of us. I smiled shyly at her, but the second she caught my gaze she averted her eyes to the floor. It was then that I noticed Quil was watching her intently as well, casually leaning on the kitchen counter with the bag of pretzels in his hand.

Jacob turned and faced her in the middle of the thick tension. "What is it, Leah?" he asked gently.

Leah looked up quickly at the sound of Jacob's voice, almost too quickly. She seemed to fidget in front of him too. "Um, Sam just wanted to tell you that he needs more nails."

"Alright, I'll bring him more in a second." Jacob smiled shyly at her.

"Ok," she smiled up at him. "Thanks, Jake."

Quil let out a snort of laughter before he composed himself.

Leah glared at him and I watched her cheeks darken. "Shut up," she snarled through her teeth. She turned on her heels and quickly made her way out the front door. She flew past Emily, who now stood leaning against the door frame, slowly shaking her head at Quil.

Jacob yanked the bag out of Quil's hand and pointed furiously to the front door. "Go!"

Without another word, Quil sulked towards the door. Embry followed as well without any protest.

"Leave her alone," Emily mumbled to him as he made his way outside.

"What!? It's gross, and you don't have to see it-"

"Shhh!" Emily shoved him outside and followed the two onto the porch, leaving Jacob and I alone in the kitchen.

As the awkward silence settled around us, I opened my mouth to say something, but Jacob took my hand and began to lead me to the back of the house.

"I have something to show you," he said eagerly, practically dragging me into one of the rooms off the long back hallway.

The drywall had been recently finished, and besides a pile of tools and a ladder in the corner, the room sat empty. There was an expansive window looking out into the woods, and I dropped Jacob's hand as I crossed the room and took in the view. I turned around and looked above me at the gently sloped cathedral ceiling.

"This looks great," I smiled, catching his loving gaze.

Jacob crossed the room and opened another door across from me, and I gasped as I looked into a comfortable-sized walk-in closet. "I'm so jealous," I exclaimed.

"Is this enough room?" he smiled at me.

"Enough room for what?"

"All your clothes," Jacob teased. "Don't women usually take up the entire closet and the man is left with a locker in the garage?"

I giggled nervously. "No, Jake. I wouldn't do that to you, this is your house!"

"It's _our_ house, Bella," he corrected me.

"Right, that's what I meant," I fidgeted.

Suddenly I began to feel nervous and uncertain every time Jacob mentioned the next step in our relationship, and I could tell he noticed. Jacob crossed the room and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me against his warm chest. Without saying another word, he tilted my chin up and captured my lips with his, his deep kiss making me weak in the knees. He slowly let me go with a sigh of contentment.

"So do you know what's going here?" Jacob glanced down at our feet.

"No," I raised an eyebrow.

"The bed," Jacob whispered in a husky voice, giving me a look that made my stomach drop. Before I could say anything he kissed me again, this time with a growing intensity that caused my heart to pound out of my chest. Jacob held little back when it came to us, and that terrified me. Especially considering what I had allowed to have happen the last time we were alone, with a bed underneath us. Before I completely lost control, I pulled back from his blissful embrace and attempted to catch my breath.

"So this is your bedroom," I gazed up at him, my cheeks flushed.

"Well yes," Jacob mumbled hesitantly. "_Our_ bedroom, you mean."

My stomach jumped at those words, but I still felt a twinge of insecurity. Even though we were engaged, I wasn't sure how Charlie would take the idea of Jacob and I living together. The whole situation was unfamiliar, I had never imagined my fiancé would find a house so quickly, besides want me to move in with him right away. Instead of trying to figure out the million questions in my head, I pulled Jacob close for another deep kiss and he gladly reciprocated my embrace. Our eagerness hasn't lessened, and this time I ignored the tightness in my stomach and wrapped my arms around Jacob's neck. He bent his scorching body against mine, and soon I let out a soft moan as his tongue parted my lips. He ran his fingers through my hair, momentarily breaking our embrace by tilting my head back, and I gasped as his soft lips found the delicate skin on my neck.

"Hey Jake-Oh for the love of…"

We both jumped and broke apart from each other to find Embry standing in the doorway, his hand covering his eyes.

"What is it, Embry?" Jacob smirked.

Embry didn't remove his hand from his face. "Whenever you're done, Sam needs you," he grumbled.

"Ok, I'll be right there," Jacob loosened his grip on my back. "Thanks."

"Yeah, yeah. Unbelievable, have to watch all this every damn day of my life… People can't keep their damn thoughts to themselves…"

We laughed sheepishly as we heard Embry's gargled distaste all the way down the hallway.

"I'd better go see what Sam wants," Jacob let me go completely, his breathing still irregular. "I'll be right back." He placed a kiss gently on my forehead and turned to leave. Thoughts and questions suddenly came back to me as Jacob put distance between us, and I considered the fact that we'd be left alone for a little while. Especially since Embry was most likely warning everyone else at the moment.

"Jake?"

"Yeah?" he turned to look at me, hesitating next to the door frame.

I lowered my voice. "What was that earlier, in the kitchen? With Leah?"

Jacob ran a hand through his hair, absentmindedly getting rid of some sawdust. "What do you mean?"

"Well," I fidgeted. "She seemed anxious around you, and Quil seemed to find that amusing."

"Quil finds everything amusing."

"Yes, that's true," I smiled in the awkward silence. I decided not to push my questioning, maybe I was just reading into things too much. I knew I had nothing to fear anyway, I knew Jacob adored me.

Jacob sighed deeply, and my smile faded as I could tell be his expression that there was more he wanted to tell me. He seeming to chose his words carefully and I listened intently. "Bella, months ago, before you gave me an answer…"

I understood his implied stare and waited anxiously for his explanation.

"Leah expressed an interest in me," Jacob continued. "But I didn't have the same feelings for her."

I nodded slowly, thinking back to Leah's hesitant gaze in the kitchen. "Expressed an interest," I implored. "When?"

"Actually, the day you came over," Jacob watched my face carefully. "When I thought it was over between us."

I thought back to when I pulled up the long driveway and found Jacob in the front yard. His fists clenched, his stance rigid, the hurt look in his eyes. "So, she had left just before I got there?" I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Yes."

"What did she say?"

Jacob came closer to me and placed his hands on my arms, holding me steady. I knew I was being irrational, but I couldn't help feeling slightly jealous. Leah was beautiful, and it would make sense for her to be attracted to Jacob. I couldn't seem to shake the unfamiliar worry out of my mind that someone else could consume Jacob's thoughts.

"Leah came over to see the new house," Jacob explained. "And to escape the news that Sam and Emily were planning their wedding. It was a bad day for the both of us."

I nodded, remembering everything Leah had gone through with Sam.

Jacob kept his voice low. "Leah expressed to me that the both of us needed to move on. That she needed to try to forget Sam, and that I needed to forget… you."

My heart ached with those words, but I understood their timing. "I made you wait a long time Jake," I forced a weak smile. "She was just being a good friend."

Jacob paused and looked deep into my eyes. "Leah kissed me, Bella."

Instantly I felt an unbearable stab of jealously. The smile on my face dissolved and I averted my gaze before Jacob saw it, but I was too late.

"Bella," he held on tighter to my shoulders. "It meant _nothing_."

"She kissed you?" I mumbled, fighting back tears.

"She caught me by surprise Bells," Jacob explained, tilting my chin so that I was forced to look at him. "Afterwards she realized I didn't share the same feelings she had. Bella, the kiss meant nothing to me."

I breathed deep and even, forcing the churning in my stomach to settle. I really had no right to be upset or jealous. I was the one who had kissed Jacob while I was still dating Edward, and I was the one who had caused Jacob so much anguish. Really, I deserved this. Jacob had every right to forget about me.

"Bella, please don't be upset." He kissed my forehead.

"I'm not," I lied. "It's just…"

"What? You have nothing to worry about, Bella. You know that."

"But-" I struggled to keep my lower lip from trembling. This was ridiculous, I was acting foolish. I forced a smile and looked up at Jacob's concerned face. "I'm sorry. She's just so pretty, and I'm-"

"My fiancé," Jacob reached down and picked up my left hand, gently kissing it. "I love _you_, Bella. I proposed to you, not her."

"I know," I now felt embarrassed. "So, back in the kitchen… Quil?"

Jacob rolled his eyes. "I told the guys to let it go, but of course every time we're in wolf form and Leah sees me…" He paused and shook his head sadly. "Unfortunately, Quil uses it against her. He sees it as her weakness, and he enjoys reminding her of it every chance he gets."

I grimaced. I couldn't imagine not having any secrets, having everyone around me know every thought and feeling. I felt pity for Leah.

"Bella," Jacob met my gaze again. "You have nothing to worry about, ok?"

I nodded shyly. Jacob wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into another tight hug, rubbing my back with his hand. Whatever was left of my anxiety melted away as I breathed in Jacob's scent, mixed with sweat and sawdust. I smiled to myself as I realized Jacob never had to explain anything to me, all he had to do was hold me. Whenever I was in his arms, I knew it was where I belonged, no words needed to be spoken. I sighed in contentment as Jacob grabbed my hand and led me across the hall. The bathroom was nearly finished, and he switched on the light and took the caulk from me.

"This shouldn't take you too long to finish up," he explained as he took the cap off the tube. "Just make sure the bead creates a water-tight seal around the sink and the bathtub," he demonstrated to me as he left a line of caulk along the vanity sink. "Then get rid of any excess with the towel, or you can always use my method." Jacob ran his finger across the line of caulk, pushing it into the seam, and then deposited the excess on the end of my nose.

I gasped and quickly wiped the glob off with my hand, smearing it across Jacob's arm as he jumped past me, laughing.

"I'll check back on you later," he winked at me.

"Thanks," I snarled at him, picking up the tube from the sink and my clean towel. Thinking he was gone, I took a moment to study the work done to the sink.

"Hey," Jacob reappeared in the doorway.

I glanced up, surprised to find a reserved look on his face.

He cleared his throat in the awkward silence. "Did you unpack the boxes at your Dad's house yet?"

"No," I thought back to the pile in the corner of my room. "Why?"

Jacob seemed to blush. "I was just thinking… Why don't you bring some of your stuff over here?"

"You mean," I hesitated, surprised that he had chosen to bring this up. "Move in with you?"

Jacob fidgeted in front of me. "Well, yes."

"Here?"

He smiled warmly. "Yes, here. This is our house Bella, remember?"

"I know. It's just…"

"Bella, if this is about Leah…"

"No," I shook my head. "This has nothing to do with Leah, Jake."

"Then what's wrong?"

I stared at the hurt look on Jacob's face, and it nearly broke my heart. "It's just that… We're not married."

"Ok…" He waited for a further explanation.

"And I'm just not sure how Charlie feels…"

"Feels about what?"

I felt my cheeks grow warmer. "Feels about… Well, me being here alone. With you." I fidgeted with the towel. "Just the two of us."

"Oh," Jacob's face fell.

"And we've only been dating for what… A little over 4 months? Isn't this a little… Fast?" I paused, wondering if I was just beginning to come up with any excuse.

"Bella, we've known each other since we were kids, "Jacob pointed out. "Too fast? As far as I'm concerned, I think we've waited long enough."

"Well, that's true…"

Jacob forced a smile, then leaned in and kissed my forehead. "Don't worry about it, Bella. It was just an idea. If you're not ready, then you're not ready."

"Jake-"

"Let me go deal with Sam," he interrupted me. "I'll check on you later, ok?"

Before I could answer, he disappeared from the doorway and I could hear him make his way down the hall. He probably thought I didn't notice, but I caught the hurt look in his eyes as he turned away from me, surrendering his plan that he had been eager to discuss with me. He seemed to regret even bringing it up. I groaned and forced myself to concentrate on the task at hand as I struggled to push back my anxiety. I wanted to run after Jacob, to grab him and tell him everything that I was feeling… That I wanted nothing more than to wake up next to him every morning. That being with him only made me feel more alive and that I didn't need to move any of my belongings to the house, because as long as he was there, I was home.

I paused and stared at my reflection in front of me. I had to remind myself that Jacob deserved better, he deserved better than me even, and our separation was solely to keep him from being hurt. As much as it caused me pain to keep a distance between us, I kept promising myself it was for Jacob's own good. I knew if he found out the reasons behind my hesitation he would talk me out of it, but I couldn't bear to make the same mistakes I had in the past. Mistakes that led Jacob to pick up the pieces of my shattered life, and I decided I would never allow myself to put him through that again.

Sounds of laughter from the group of friends outside cut into my thoughts and brought me back to the present. For a moment I considered the close group who had recently accepted me as a member of their family, and it reminded me of a similar situation with another close-knit family. However this time with Jacob, I was left feeling like I had always belonged. I smiled to myself as I got back to work.

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_Hopefully life gets easier soon, and I leave my current state of comatose o_O  
Reviews are good medicine…_

_*Cough._


	9. Perspective

_Hey everyone! Thank you all for your patience... Life hasn't gotten any easier, but the recent snowstorms in the Northeast gave me a few days off work!! Enjoy the latest chapter :)_

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**9. PERSPECTIVE**

I drummed my fingers on the countertop, waiting for the ancient coffee maker to cease its relentless gurgling noises and produce one drop of liquid. The house sat still and quiet. Charlie had left in the early morning hours to pick up Billy for another fishing trip, and I could only imagine the damage they could inflict on a lake's ecosystem. Charlie's portion of the day's catch would eventually end up in the fridge, so at least I knew what I would be cooking tonight. Bored and still half-asleep, I pushed aside the curtains on the kitchen window and gazed outside. The grey clouds hung low in the sky, threatening rain.

I wasn't used to having nothing to do all day and had awoken early with the dull morning light. I attempted to go back to sleep, but ended up staring at the ceiling for a few hours until I finally relented and got out of bed. Since I had planned to be at college by now, I had no full-time job to fill up the hours of my day. It also didn't help that Jacob and most of the pack were stuck in school again, so the work on the house had to be put on hold as well. My days had become empty and tedious while I waited for Jacob to get home. While I considered abandoning all hope of enjoying a cup of coffee this morning, I thought about the boxes upstairs. Regardless of when I finally relented on moving in with Jacob, I figured I might as well clean up the mess I had ignored up until now.

In the still of the early morning, I heard a familiar rumbling noise outside the house. With a smile pulling across my face, I abandoned the useless coffee maker and opened the front door to find Jacob leaning his bike against the kickstand as it idled. He looked up as he heard the door open, and matched my grin with the smile that I loved so much. I broke into a run as he switched off the bike and climbed off. I jumped into his arms and kissed him as he held me against his chest, my world feeling whole again.

He hugged me tight. "This is exactly what I needed this morning. Better than coffee."

"You're telling me," I groaned. I slid down his body and he caught me, gently setting me back on solid ground. "Why do you have to go to school?" I pouted.

"So I can graduate and spend more time with you," he reminded me. "Also I need to get a full-time job soon, to pay my Dad back for all the house renovations."

"Oh, right." I crossed my arms across my chest, giving him a teasing smile. "I already graduated, you need to catch up."

"I will," Jacob scowled at me. "At least I get to tell people that I'm engaged to an older woman."

I shot him a cold look and smacked his arm.

"What are you up to today while I'm stuck in class?" Jacob rolled his eyes.

"I don't know," I shrugged. "Cleaning a little, I guess. Throwing things away, maybe cleaning out some of those boxes," my voice trailed off as I remembered our discussion from a few weeks ago.

Jacob cleared his throat. "Have you given any more thought to moving in with me?" His face was stoic.

"Jake…" I began, but I hadn't thought of anything else to say. The awkward silence lay between us again, leaving me hating myself for making both of us wait. I was so afraid to let Jacob in completely, so apprehensive to allow someone I adored to become my entire world again. I had to keep some sort of distance between Jacob and I, just to make sure I was able to hold my own.

"Well, regardless of your decision," Jacob reached into his pocket and produced a small key. He delicately placed it in my hand and wrapped my fingers around it. "I wanted you to have this."

"This is for the house…"

"Yeah," Jacob's voice was flat. "I got it copied yesterday. It works in the front door, I already checked."

I opened up my hand and stared down at the gold key in my palm. I felt unbearably awful. Why was I doing this to myself and more importantly, why was I allowing myself to do this to Jacob? But I had to remember, I was only trying to make myself a better person for him. He didn't need my possessive issues, he didn't deserve an unstable companion… But how did I know if I would ever be ready?

"Is it Charlie?"

I looked back up at him. "What?"

"Charlie," Jacob raised an eyebrow. "You said that he was a little concerned with what we talked about…"

I was taken back by his question. "Oh, no. No, it's not Charlie…"

"Well, what does he think about us moving in together?"

Jacob seemed genuinely interested as he waited for my answer, and my stomach began to twist into tight knots. "Well-" I stammered. "I don't know…"

Jacob's face revealed his comprehension, and slowly I grew silent. "You… You never told Charlie I asked you to move in with me, did you?"

I opened my mouth, but this time nothing came out. The look on his face nearly broke my heart.

"Wow," Jacob whispered and looked down at the ground, slowly shaking his head. "I had no idea."

"Jake please," my heart sank as he refused to look at me. "This has nothing to do with Charlie."

Jacob cautiously looked up at me but chose to remain silent, allowing me to continue.

I sighed heavily and shrugged. "It's me, Jake. I'm the one who's apprehensive about this, I'm the one who doesn't want the same things to happen again…" I paused when Jacob set his jaw and met my gaze with a puzzled look.

"What are you talking about, Bella?"

I hesitated, then forced myself to look into Jacob's eyes. He deserved an explanation from me. "You know what I allowed myself to do with Edward. I ended up doing things I never though I would do. I lost myself, I lost everything I believed in…"

"Bella," Jacob lowered his voice. "Please don't make me pay for his mistakes."

"I'm not," I kept my gaze on him. "But I just need to make sure that I'm ready."

Jacob seemed to fidget, thinking about what he could say to me to change my mind. Eventually his shoulders slumped and he gave me a sad look. "Then there's nothing I can do, is there?"

I slowly shook my head. "This is something I need to figure out."

Jacob turned away from me without another word and looked out into the woods, attempting to compose himself. Cautiously, I reached out and softly touched his face. He closed his eyes and leaned against my hand as I gently rubbed his cheek.

"Hey," I whispered.

Jacob opened his eyes and looked at me, no emotion on his face.

"I love you. You know that, right?"

Jacob didn't answer me. Instead he turned to face me and shrugged the light jacket off his shoulders. He caught it with one hand and draped it across my back. "Here," he whispered, his face close to mine. "You may need this."

An early autumn breeze blew across the front yard, and I realized how the temperature had dropped. Leaves cluttered the green lawn and I looked around at the sparsely-covered trees. Fall must have crept in while I was so busy helping Jacob with the house. I glanced down at the thin white t-shirt Jacob was wearing. "What about you?"

"I'm fine," he replied placing his hand on the small of my back, pulling me against him until our stomachs touched. "And I know you love me," he whispered as he gently ran his hand through my hair, still tangled from last night's sleep.

Our faces were inches apart as I placed my hand on his chest to steady myself, a million thoughts running through my head, but I couldn't find a rational reason to take my eyes off his. Jacob meant everything to me, and he was giving me everything I ever wanted… Then why was I so terrified every time we were this close? It might be because my heart skipped a beat every time I saw him, or that his kisses left me breathless. And the way he was holding me now caused my skin to grow hot, and not just because of his abnormal temperature. Slowly I leaned closer to him, feeling his heartbeat thump against my hand rapidly.

"Bella…" he whispered, his breath tickling my face. He became lost in my eyes, taking my face in his hands.

I felt myself tremble as he stopped inches from my lips, both of our breaths becoming more labored as he gently brushed my cheek with his thumb. Jacob placed his warm lips on mine and we sighed against each other. As our passionate kiss grew in intensity, Jacob entwined his fingers in my hair and I wrapped my arms around his neck. His arms tightened around my waist, and I felt his chest muscles tense up under his fading t-shirt. Not realizing how much I was leaning into him, Jacob crashed into his motorcycle that was parked a few steps behind them, breaking our ravenous hold on each other. He balanced me against him as he looked back to check on his bike, then looked back down at me. As Jacob leaned closer to me again, I grabbed a piece of his t-shirt, pulling him closer.

Surprise hit me as I heard an unfamiliar sound, and Jacob pulled away from me. He forcefully reached into his pocket and withdrew a cell phone, checking the screen. I narrowed my eyes in confusion as he placed the phone back in his pocket.

"That reminds me," Jacob reached for the jacket that still lay across my shoulders and produced another cell phone. "I have another gift for you." He placed it in my hand along with the key.

I couldn't help but smile as I glanced up at him. "Do you really need these, Jacob?"

He shrugged. "When I'm in human form, yes. They're a lot easier."

"I guess that's a good point."

"Also it's easier to keep in touch with you this way," he winked at me. "Make sure you're safe."

I smiled warmly at him.

"But that was Quil," Jacob sighed. "If I'm late to class again…"

"Oh," I reluctantly began to step away from him. "Yeah, I guess you'd better get going."

Jacob turned from me and got back on his bike, sitting down on the seat and gazing at me with a look of hesitation. "I won't ask you anymore, Bella. It'll be your decision."

I fidgeted. "I know I can't possibly ask you for more time…" I gently kissed his cheek and stepped back.

Jacob sighed deeply, placing his hands on the handlebars of the bike and gripping them until the muscles bulged in his arms. He tilted the bike off the kickstand and held it steady. "But you're going to anyway, right?" He looked at me out of the corner of his eye.

I remained silent, too ashamed to admit to one of my many faults. Jacob understood my silence and stood up, placing his foot on the kick starter.

"Will you wait for me? To figure things out, I mean…" I mumbled sheepishly, knowing he owed me nothing, but selfishly needing to hear his unrelenting devotion anyway.

Jacob paused and glanced up at me, a smile pulled on the corner of his mouth. "Always."

A warmth spread through me, and I stepped back further as Jacob kicked the bike to life and the peaceful morning was once again shattered by the small motor roaring. Jacob let the bike idle for a few seconds, then began to back out of my driveway, his fingers close to the throttle. He stole one last glance at me.

"I love you," I mouthed to him.

He couldn't hide the slight grin on his face. "Love you too."

I watched Jacob steer the bike onto the deserted street and quickly accelerate, leaving me behind in the stillness once again. I waited until I could no longer hear the echo of the motorcycle, then turned and made my way back in the house, still wearing Jacob's jacket.

Upstairs, I surveyed the tasks I had been putting off for months. I turned up my nose as I caught a whiff of the scent coming from my work clothes. Before I began anything else, I kicked the heap of clothes into a ball and sent them tumbling down the stairs on their way to the washer, considering it was probably about time to begin throwing some away. I pulled the first box towards me and surveyed its contents, thankful only to find more clothes. I deposited another mound of material on the floor and proceed to kick that down the stairs as well. The laundry was easy, that was a whole other project I would tackle tomorrow. I launched the now empty box into the hallway.

One box down.

Three boxes later, I was astonished at what I continued to discover. My small trashcan was overflowing, as was the trash bag that sat next to it. I had a pile of things next to me that I couldn't consider parting from. Photographs, small gifts from my friends and Charlie, classic books, loose change… The CD that Edward had made me had been thrown away as well. I no longer wanted to be reminded of the moments when he was most kind to me, I had made my decision and I didn't want to look back. I pulled a thin book out of the box which I didn't recognize at first. I opened to the first page that sat blank, a couple picture corners were all that remained. I turned the page to find a picture of my truck, which was when I realized this was the book Charlie and given to me on my first birthday in Forks, along with a camera.

With a smile on my face, I flipped through the pages of pictures. Forks High School, why I wanted to remember that place I have no idea. My bedroom. I glanced around and nodded. Yes, it looked the same, and apparently I never wanted to forget it either. I turned to a photograph of Mike Newton and Jessica, of course making weird faces. I rolled my eyes, thinking back to some of my first friends who helped me settle into Forks. I wondered where some of them had ended up now, probably most of them off at college. I cringed as I turned to the next picture, which happened to be of Angela and Ben. I still felt a need to go visit Angela, to apologize for becoming so obsessed with my vampire boyfriend that I had completely neglected our friendship. I closed the book and opened it again to the first blank page, reflecting on the empty picture corners. Now I remembered this page used to hold the picture of Edward and I that Charlie had taken. I had thrown that away months ago, the day I told Jacob that he was my choice. I closed the book and placed it in my "To Keep" pile.

Hours later, half of the boxes sat empty in the hallway. I surveyed the damage to my room, picked myself up off the floor and beginning to transport the pile of essentials to the table where my computer sat. Eventually I would piece my room back together, hang up pictures, and make it my own space again. For a little while at least, I was here to stay. My foot brushed against the most recent empty box. I picked it up and tossed it into the growing pile in the hallway, but I stopped as I heard something shift against the cardboard. I crossed the room and picked up the box again, perplexed to find nothing in the bottom. I placed the box on the ground and separated the flaps, discovering something stuck to the packing tape on the bottom of the box.

I carefully lifted the bracelet and held it up in the light, astonished that I had forgotten all about it and had come so close to losing it. The small carving of the wolf that Jacob had made for me was still secure on the delicate silver chain, as was the dazzling crystal from Edward. I carefully slipped it on my wrist and secured the clasp, relieved to have it back where it belonged. I considered the crystal for a moment as I watched it throw rainbows in the sunlight. I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep it, having to remember its meaning every time I glanced at my wrist.

Downstairs, I heard a gentle knock on the front door. I paused and looked at the clock, realizing Jacob and the rest of the crew would be out of school now. As I quickly made my way past the boxes and down the stairs, I was hoping Jacob hadn't returned full of new questions. I was weary from all my unpacking, and I didn't feel like having any sort of discussion now that could possibly turn into an argument. I skidded across the kitchen floor and pulled the door open. Emily turned at the sound, stopping in her tracks as she was beginning to step off the front porch.

"Hey!" she half-smiled, the scar still distorting the other side of her face. "Jacob told me you would probably be home, I'm so glad I caught you!"

"Emily, it's so good to see you," I smiled at her, unable to feel worn out around her bubbling personality. "What are you doing here? Is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine! And if you're not busy," she clasped her hands together. "I got a call from the bridal shop this afternoon and I kind of stole Sam's car," she grimaced.

I laughed. "They called? Is my dress ready?"

"Yes!" Emily nearly pounced on me. "Do you have some time to go try it on?"

"Right now? Of course!"

"Oh my goodness, Bella! Thank you so much!" Emily grabbed me and hugged me tight. "I've been so worried it wouldn't be finished in time, and hopefully there won't need to be any more alterations."

"No problem," I laughed, pulling away from her and holding her by the shoulders. "I just need to get changed real quick, come on in." I stepped inside the house, hearing Emily follow and close the door behind us. "Do you need anything? Something to drink?"

"No, I'm fine," she dismissed me with a wave of her hand. "Go get changed, I'll wait for you."

"Ok, I'll be right back." I jogged upstairs and changed quickly, pulling on some jeans and a clean t-shirt. I relocated the boxes back into my room and cleared the hallway, closing my bedroom door. I joined Emily in the kitchen and scribbled a quick note to Charlie.

"Ready?" Emily grinned as I pulled on my sneakers.

"Yup, let's go!" I grabbed my house keys, following Emily as she practically skipped out of the house. I locked the door behind us and made my way to the car parked in our driveway, thankful that I had something to get me out of the cramped and quiet house for a while.

***

Emily gasped as I emerged from the small fitting room. I didn't even need to ask, I could tell by the elated expression on her face that she was happy with the results.

"Oh Bella, thank goodness! It's perfect!" She grinned wildly as I stepped in front of the elongated mirrors in the middle of the store.

I fidgeted in front of my reflection, smiling to myself at how relieved Emily sounded. She had asked me to be a bridesmaid only a few weeks ago, leaving the store little time to allow for alterations. Thankfully, with the wedding only a few days away, my dress looked beautiful.

"Thank you! Thank you so much!"

I watched in the mirror as Emily hugged the sales assistant who had helped me with my dress.

"No problem, sweetheart," the woman embraced her. "I'm so glad everything worked out. Now all you have to do is get married, right?"

"Yes, yes," Emily nodded as she wiped away a few tears, blushing at the 'awww's from the other ladies. "Bella, thank you for being such an amazing bridesmaid," she turned to me. "Is the dress comfortable on you? Does it feel ok?"

"Oh yes," I ran my hands along my torso, smoothing the lace fabric. "I think it looks great, I really like it." I was silently grateful to have a laid-back bride who put me in something elegant and above all, tasteful. Emily had chosen a champagne-colored lace dress that stopped a little below my knees, and hung slightly off my shoulders. To add a hint of color, she had the shop sew a deep scarlet sash around the waist.

"Oh I'm so glad this all worked out," Emily collapsed onto the comfortable sofa that sat in front of the store's full length mirrors, no doubt overwhelmed. "You can get changed, Bella. We're done."

I happily stepped off the platform and made my way back into the fitting room, one of the saleswomen right behind me. Within a few minutes, I was back in my regular clothes and came out to join the bride-to-be on the couch while the women took care of my dress. I plopped down next to Emily, who looked exhausted.

"You alright?" I asked, concerned.

"I'll just be glad when this wedding is over with and I can relax," Emily groaned. She then quickly replaced the frown with her usual smile and patted my leg. "This wedding stuff is a lot of work. You'll find that out soon enough."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm sure."

"Have you done any planning yet?" Emily eagerly asked, grateful for the moment that the attention was off her.

"Not too much," I paused. "If anything…"

"Do you know what kind of dress you want to wear?" Emily asked. "That was the first thing I wanted to do after Sam and I got engaged, try on as many dresses as I could get my hands on."

I shook my head. "No, I have no idea. I'm not really a dress person anyway…" For a moment I thought back to the dress I had tried on at the Cullen's when I was engaged to Edward. That was the first time I had found that I looked beautiful in such a garment, and I was nervous that I would never feel that way again.

"Have you even tried any dresses on at all?" Emily's voice cut into my thoughts.

"Umm no," I chose to avoid the issue. "Not yet."

Emily's face lit up. "Bella, we're here now! Why don't you try on a dress!?"

My stomach dropped. "Oh, no that's alright. We're here for your-"

"No, don't be silly," Emily dismissed me with a wave of her hand. "Please, Bella? It would be so much fun! Just one, I promise!"

"Ok girls, we're all set," the saleswoman came up behind us holding my dress in a thin plastic bag.

Before I could grab the garment bag and run, Emily turned towards her. "Would you have time to let Bella try on a wedding dress!?"

I groaned as the women raised an eyebrow to me, no doubt calculating another sale in her head. "You're engaged, honey?"

"Yes she is," Emily beamed, sounding more like a proud mother than a bride-to-be. "To my fiancé's best friend!"

"Awww, congratulations! When's the big day!?" the saleswoman grinned at me.

"Well, I… We're not sure yet." I felt the room suddenly get hotter, and smaller.

"They got engaged recently, Bella's just starting to plan things," Emily explained, no doubt seeing my expression pale.

"Do you have a certain dress in mind, honey?" the saleswoman pushed.

"No, really, I don't have to try anything on," I stammered.

"Bella, please?" Emily clasped her hands together, begging. "Please please please…"

I sighed and shook my head at her pleading eyes, then I glanced up at the woman. "Nothing too fancy."

Emily squealed and clapped her hands.

"Nothing fancy, got it. Anything else?"

"Some lace," I shrugged. "And a simple silhouette, no ball gowns."

"I think I can manage that," the saleswoman beamed. "You ladies keep comfortable, I'll be right back."

After she disappeared I sighed deeply and tried to calm my nerves, which wasn't easy sitting next to Emily who was currently bouncing up and down in her seat.

"I cannot believe you talked me into this," I mumbled.

"Oh Bella, quit pouting," Emily playfully smacked my leg. "It'll be fun!"

While we waited for the saleswoman to reemerge, I allowed myself to remember back to a similar situation in the Cullen residence, many months ago. The memory of the satin fabric on my skin as Alice danced around me, Esme fixing my cathedral train, and all the while I'm spinning Edward's ring on my finger and it grew heavier and heavier. I suddenly felt the perspiration on my skin, and the longer I sat there and waited, the more my anxiety grew.

"You know, Emily," I stood up on shaky legs. "I think I've had enough for today."

"Aww, Bella," Emily looked crushed. "Just one dress, I promise. Come on, it won't be so bad."

"No really," I began to back towards the front door. "I'll have you bring me back after your wedding, and I'll try on-"

"Here we go!"

I froze in my tracks and grimaced as the saleswoman appeared from another part of the store, a flowing garment draped across her arm. Emily gasped and put her hands to her face as she beheld the dress.

"Oh Bella, it's beautiful," she nearly cried as she slowly turned to me. "What do you think?"

I beheld the simplistic satin fabric accented with a lace and pearl bodice. I may not have ever thought to select the dress myself, but since two women were eagerly awaiting my approval, I smiled and nodded.

"You ready?" the woman asked, turning towards the dressing room.

I shrugged. "Guess so," I numbly followed her, past Emily who continued her inability to sit still.

After a few awkward moments in the cramped room, and some fidgeting as the final few buttons were put in place, the privacy sheet behind me was lifted. With slight apprehension, I gently picked up the bottom of the dress and stepped into the expansive shop making my way in front of the full length mirrors. I heard Emily gasp behind me, but I kept my gaze to the floor as I stepped onto the raised podium and took a few deeps breaths. With my hands clenched in fists, I slowly looked up at my reflection and froze.

It was perfect. The delicate lace that hugged my torso was accented with tiny pearls and the satin fabric gathered at my waist, then tapered to the floor in a timeless, classic silhouette. It was light, comfortable, and fit my perfectly. I didn't feel any sense of hesitation, and I smiled as all my thoughts turned to Jacob. I knew he found me stunning in baggy sweatpants and an old t-shirt, and now I couldn't think of anything else but his expression if he saw me in this dress.

"Oh Bella," Emily had come to stand next to me. "I don't know how you can try any other dress on after this, it looks like it was made for you."

"Thanks," I blushed. "I didn't expect it to-"

"Let's not forget this," the saleswoman pinned a small veil into my hair, completing the ensemble, and causing my heart to nearly stop.

My breath caught in my lungs as everything in my life instantly seemed to slide into place. This was right. This is what I had wanted all along. I could see myself standing at one end of an aisle in this dress, and at the other end of the aisle would be Jacob. The rest of the room faded into the background, along with the ladies' incessant praise, and all I could focus on my image. The image of me becoming Jacob's wife. Slipping my tiny hand in his, bound to my best friend, my true love, forever.

I put my palm on my rapidly beating heart and was surprised to find that my chest was trembling. That's when I realized I was crying, sobbing in fact, and in a matter of seconds I was surrounded by every woman in the store.

"…Oh! That's when you know he's a keeper!..."

"…I knew she was going to cry, I could tell. I can always tell…"

"…It's ok sweetie, get it out now…"

"…When I saw that dress, I just knew it was for her…"

"…Good choice, Diane…"

"…I cried when I found my dress too. And after the wedding, I've been crying ever since…"

"Bella! Bella!"

I glanced down through watery eyes at Emily, who was holding back her own tears while handing me a tissue. "Are you alright!?"

I nodded furiously and took the tissue, dabbing my eyes. Emily jumped up on the platform with me in the middle of the animated group of women and hugged me tight, brushing the loose hair out of my eyes as I struggled to compose myself.

"I don't know, ladies…"

Emily and I turned to face the saleswoman who had picked out my dress.

"I think this could be the one," she winked at me.

I smiled warmly as the woman and Emily exchanged wide grins. I looked back at my reflection and beheld my expression. I was elated, glowing even, and I couldn't keep the smile off my face despite the tears. She was right about one thing, I had managed to find the one I had been waiting for… However, I knew it had nothing to do with a dress.

* * *

_I'm writing as fast as I can, I promise! Leave some love, if you'd like :)  
Right now, I'll go back to watching the Olympics..._


	10. Promises

_Finally! After wrestling with this chapter for weeks, it's finished! *Hooray!  
__You have all been so patient with me, and I'm so sorry this took so long… Life is just, UGH!! And that's all I can say about that! But I hope your patience will be rewarded... With the following 20 pages of writing _o_O_ I just had a ton of ideas in my head this time and just had to get them all down… So enjoy :)_

_Oh, and we're back to Jacob's POV again…_

10. PROMISES

**Jacob POV**

I took a seat in the last pew in the back of the church, taking advantage of a few quiet moments to myself before the chaos of the day began. I straightened the delicate white rose that was pinned to my tuxedo jacket and leaned back against the old oak pew, listening to the wood creak and settle. The church was quiet, except for the hushed murmurs of a few guests who had arrived early. Everything was draped in pure white linens and the accents of polished gold on the main alter sparkled in the early afternoon sunshine that filtered through the stained glass windows. Baskets of flowers were being carried in to decorate the alter as the organist took her seat and practiced a subdued melody.

I thought about the gravity of the day ahead of us. I still felt that my friends and I were so young and we had so much more growing up to do… But really, we didn't have as much time left as I once thought. I could still remember learning about Sam over the years. I used to believe he was someone to fear, then later being eternally grateful that he was there during the first agonizing hours of my phasing. And now, I only had the utmost respect for him as I watched him make the decision to dedicate himself to another human being. When we imprint, we are so grateful to have finally found that one person to spend the rest of our lives with that we don't even realize how much of ourselves we have already given up. Once Sam had made the decision to commit himself to Emily forever, he had already taken a huge step towards adulthood, and today he would take an even bigger one: Declaring in front of all our family and friends that he and Emily would be together. Forever. Until death do they part.

_Until death_. Just the idea of the words made me sneer. What did that even mean to us anymore? The lines of life and death had begun to blur the second each of us became the monsters we are now. I found it amusing that Sam and Emily chose to announce their vows in such a religious place, in such a mortal place even. I glanced up at the crucifix above the alter, finding it an ironic symbol. Most of our human morals had been forgotten, which was understandable considering the things we've witnessed. It was nearly impossible to sustain our former beliefs now that we had all become murderers. We had hunted and killed other creatures. Creatures with ivory skin and no heartbeats who were supposed to only exist in legends. Even us werewolves were believed to only be confined to myths, Hollywood movies, and children's nightmares. Glancing around at the religious relics from thousands of years of teachings about the pursuit of abolishing evil and restoring faith in the goodness of man, I felt a chill run down my spine. Evil was more real, and more frightening, than any mortal could ever imagine.

I decided then to set aside my usual bitterness towards the world. Today was not the day for it. Sam had chosen to keep things as normal as possible, at least for Emily's sake. Every girl has dreamed about her wedding day her entire life and Emily deserved nothing less. She would be escorted by her father, he would lift the veil from her face, all while keeping up the façade of the typical newlywed couple. No one would know about the torment Emily would go through whenever the pack was on patrol. No one would whisper about how the deep scars across her face were from getting too close to a phasing werewolf, or how Emily would eventually surpass Sam in age. These were the burdens placed on Sam and Emily and them alone. They had chosen to endure this life together, but hopefully now with the person they loved by their side, it would make their suffering that much more tolerable.

As I continued to ponder how all our lives had converged until this point, the echoes in the church steadily grew louder. I eventually glanced around to find that most of the guests had now arrived and Seth and Jared were busy escorting people to their seats. I took a deep breath and sighed, pushing back my negative thoughts and smoothed my jacket as I got to my feet. I made my way across the rows of pews and ducked into the side door in the back of the church, stepping into the small crowded room. The groomsmen were conversing quietly and a couple glanced up at my entrance.

"Are they here yet?" I asked Embry who stood closest to me.

Embry pretended to glance around. "Do you see anyone in a big white dress, Jake?"

I narrowed my eyes. "They should be here soon. Where's Sam?"

"He's up front with Quil," Embry gave me a puzzled look. "You need a few more minutes?"

"No, I'm fine." I paused. "Why?"

"You just looked like you were spaced out for a while," Embry snickered. "People might think you're the groom."

I smiled warmly. "Not yet."

Just then, the double doors to the back of the church opened and Emily rushed in surrounded by her bridesmaids. Leah held one door open with Claire in her arms and soon I caught sight of Bella, carefully grasping the train to Emily's dress. Even in such a crowded room, all my attention shifted to her, and she still managed to take my breath away with her presence. Her long brown hair hung in loose curls that were pinned away from her face so they cascaded down her back, in contract to her delicate lace dress. She caught my gaze across the room and smiled. As the girls got settled and Emily greeted her parents, Bella took a break from her duties and came over to me.

"Hey," she smiled broadly as I pulled her into a tight hug.

"You look beautiful," I whispered in her ear as I let her go.

"Thank you, so do you," she winked at me and took my hand. "Come on, we have to get lined up."

I allowed her to lead me across the room. "Who's first?"

"Jared and Kim."

The other couple turned to look at us. Bella motioned towards the double doors that lead to the main aisle and the two of them quickly followed suit.

"You're good at this," I squeezed her hand.

"It's part of my job," she reminded me. "Then it's me and you behind Seth and Leah."

"Ok," I let go of her hand. "Go ahead, I'll be right back."

I made my way to the bride, who was currently letting Leah fix the finishing touches on her dress. As I approached, she greeted me with a huge smile.

"Now remember, you're marrying the big ugly one at the end of the aisle," I reminded her.

Emily giggled. "I won't forget that. Thanks, Jake."

"You look gorgeous, Emily. Good luck." I kissed her on the cheek and pulled her into a tight hug, feeling the cold presence of Leah next to us.

"Thanks Jacob," Emily whispered next to my ear, her voice thick with emotion. "Thanks for everything."

I let her go and shook her father's hand before I excused myself and made my way back to my place in line, slipping in beside Bella. Seth and Leah came in step ahead of us and soon the wedding parties were in order, waiting to hear the music that signaled the start of the ceremony.

I leaned closer to Bella. "Who's behind us?"

Bella raised an eyebrow. "Take a look for yourself."

Curious, I glanced over my shoulder to find Emily's sister Danielle smiling politely back at me. Embry was attached to her arm, giving me a more puzzled stare.

"What?" Embry looked guilty. "I'm not doing anything."

I shook my head. "I didn't say you were."

Before I turned back around, something lower to the ground caught my eye. I peeked over my shoulder again and found Claire clutching a basket of flower petals in her tiny hands, her big brown eyes gazing up at me. She broke into a huge grin and began bouncing up and down where she stood, her tiny white dress falling around her.

"Oh my goodness," I couldn't help but smile.

"Isn't she adorable?" Bella turned around and grinned at Claire as well. "Quil's job is to make sure she gets down the aisle."

"Perfect," I mused as the two of us looked ahead again.

Just then, we could faintly hear the beginning of the wedding march. The heavy double doors were pushed open allowing the boisterous organ music to flood the tiny room, and Jared and Kim stepped out and began making their way to the front of the church. Bella placed her hand on my arm and we gave each other a warm smile as we took a few steps forward, waiting for our turn. Seth and Leah proceeded down the aisle in front of us, followed by camera flashes and the smiles of excited guests. Once they were a good distance away, I turned to Bella.

"Ready?"

She smiled up at me and nodded. I placed my hand on top of hers that rested on my arm, and we began making our way down the aisle. I couldn't help the slight grin on my face as I escorted the most important person in my life in front of our close friends and family. My heart beat erratically in my chest as cameras turned towards us, flashes went off, and soft murmurs echoed around us that were quickly drowned out by the church's thundering music. I knew I wasn't what held people's attention for the moment, it was Bella. She was truly unaware of just how beautiful she was and I felt privileged to be beside her, let alone be planning to marry her. I caught the elated expressions of Charlie and my father who both sat near the front of the church and I nodded my head as they waved. Bella and I broke apart as we came to stand behind Leah and Seth along the steps of the front alter. After Embry and Danielle took their places behind us we all turned and faced the congregation, just in time to catch Quil kneeling down at the end of the aisle with his arms outstretched. A murmur went through the crowd and flashes went off frantically as Claire wobbled down the center of the church as quickly as her short legs would carry her. Flower petals flew out of the basket in every direction as she headed straight for Quil. With a shrieking giggle, she ran into his arms and Quil gracefully picked her up, the two of them settling into the front pew. Their scene caused quite a stir and I turned around to find even the priest laughing.

Once the parishioners settled down, the organist began the traditional wedding march and the old wooden benches creaked as everyone got to their feet. The doors to the back of the church opened and I quickly caught Emily's beaming smile behind her veil. As she began her way up the aisle attached to her father's arm with all eyes on her, I turned my gaze to Sam. I watched him stare at Emily in complete admiration. Watched all the doubt leave his features, all the fears of the unknown, and all the weight of our complicated lives dissolve with just one glance from his bride. I shifted my eyes to Bella across the aisle from me, imagining how I would feel to be in Sam's place. Feeling that everything was suddenly in place, all with one subtle glance from behind a veil. Bella glanced over at me and caught my stare, and we both smiled. Emily soon stood in front of us, unable to take her eyes off Sam. She quickly turned and kissed her father with tears in her eyes and he joined her hands with Sam's. Once the music came to an end, the congregation took their seats as we all turned towards the front of the church.

The priest cleared his throat. "Ladies and gentlemen. We are gathered here today…"

I stole another glance at Bella while she stayed focused on the service in front of us, but soon my attention shifted to Sam and Emily as well. The bride and groom stood listening intently along with the rest of the congregation who sat hushed, but my own thoughts drowned out the formal words spoken by the priest. I watched Sam shift his weight every few minutes and he involuntarily kept wringing his hands. As the priest continued to bless the couple, Sam attempted to steal a few glances at Emily out of the corner of his eye. As if sensing his vulnerability, Emily tilted her face up to him and gave him an encouraging smile, and I could tell instantly that Sam's whole demeanor changed. His fidgeting ceased and I sensed a calm came over him that was reflected in Emily's face. She even appeared more steady as she gazed into his eyes. They were both ready for the next step, a step they would now take together.

I smiled as Emily and Sam turned to face one another. Sam took Emily's hands and cleared his throat as the priest turned the page.

I glanced across the aisle and caught Bella's eye. We smiled at each other again.

"Repeat after me," the priest's voice cut into my thoughts. "I, Sam Utley…"

"I, Sam Utley…" came Sam's shaky voice.

"_I, Jacob Black…_" I mouthed to Bella, watching her face pale.

"Take you, Emily Young…"

"_Take you, Isabella Swan…_"

"To be my wife."

"_To be my wife._"

Bella tried to ignore me and look straight ahead, but she couldn't hide the grin on her face, and snuck glances at me out of the corner of her eye.

"To have and to hold, from this day forward…"

"_To have and to hold, from this day forward_…" My heart swelled as Bella slowly turned and looked at me.

"For better, or worse…"

"_For better, or worse_…"

"For richer, or poorer…"

"_For richer, or poorer_…" I shrugged and Bella abruptly giggled, hiding her face behind her flowers. Leah quietly shushed her over her shoulder.

"In sickness, and in health…"

"_In sickness, and in health_…"

Bella peeked above her flowers.

"To love and to cherish…"

"_To love and to cherish_…"

Bella lowered the flowers.

"Until we are parted by death…"

"_Until we are parted by death_…" My stomach tightened at those words, and I could tell Bella saw it on my face.

"This is my solemn vow."

"_This is my solemn vow_."

Bella smiled warmly at me and I could tell Leah was glaring ahead of her. While the priest turned his attention to Emily, Leah shifted her cold stare to me and I stuck my tongue out at her. Bella giggled, but quickly composed herself.

"Emily, repeat after me," the priest continued, oblivious to the wedding parties' antics. "I, Emily Young…"

"I, Emily Young…"

"_I, Isabella Swan_…"

I raised an eyebrow as Bella began repeating after the priest just as I had.

"Take you, Sam Utley…"

"_Take you, Jacob Black…"_

"To be my husband."

"_To be my husband._"

A warmth spread through my chest as I realized Bella's eyes were beginning to fill with tears.

"To have and to hold, from this day forward…"

"_To have and to hold, from this day forward_…"

"For better, or worse…"

"_For better, or worse_…"

"Hey," Seth mumbled over his shoulder at me, "what the hell is Bella doing?" He turned around slightly and rolled his eyes. "Ugh, nevermind."

"For richer, or poorer…"

"_For richer, or poorer_…"

I winked at her, causing her to grin.

"In sickness, and in health…"

"_In sickness, and in health_…"

"Speaking of sick…" Embry groaned behind me. I ignored him.

"To love and to cherish…"

"_To love and to cherish_…"

"Until we are parted by death…"

"_Until we are parted by death_…"

I watched a single tear slide down Bella's soft cheek.

"This is my solemn vow."

"_This is my solemn vow_."

The church fell silent again as Emily carefully dabbed at a few tears. Embry slipped past me on the stairs and handed two rings to Sam. Sam took them from him and turned back to Emily as Embry quickly got behind me in line again.

"Sam, repeat after me," the priest continued with a smile on his face. "With this ring, I thee wed."

"With this ring I thee wed," Sam repeated, carefully placing the delicate white gold band on Emily's finger.

"As a sign of my love and devotion."

"As a sign of my love and devotion."

"I pledge you my love."

"I pledge you my love."

"Now and forever."

"Now and forever," Sam squeezed Emily's hand.

"Emily," the priest turned to her as she held Sam's ring between her fingers. "Repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed."

"With this ring, I thee wed," came Emily's tiny voice, which barely went past the alter.

"As a sign of my love and devotion."

"As a sign of my love and devotion."

"I pledge you my love."

"I pledge you my love."

"Now and forever."

"Now and forever."

Emily's voice cracked as she forced out the last verse, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks once again. I glanced over one last time at Bella and caught her attempting to hold back her own tears.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the priest concluded, closing his Bible. "It is my great pleasure to introduce to you for the first time as husband and wife, Mr. and Mrs. Sam Utley. You may kiss the bride."

Loud applause erupted in the church as the newlyweds grabbed each other and Sam planted a passionate kiss on Emily. The two of them were lost in their own moment, but they soon turned towards their friends and family and began making their way down from the main alter. The wedding parties fell in step behind them as we met up with our respectable partners again. I caught Bella's arm as she descended the alter stairs and she glanced up at me with a smirk on her face.

"That didn't count," she raised an eyebrow.

"Of course not," I winked at her. "That was just practice."

She smacked me playfully with the bouquet of white roses she held in her hand. We followed the wedding party down the aisle and towards the back of the church as the rest of the delighted family and friends fell in behind us in anticipation for the reception.

***

At the reception, the wedding parties managed to gather around a single table perched alongside the dance floor and collapse into multiple chairs. The newlyweds were nowhere to be found, but Jared and Kim were to my left, presently content on gazing into each other's eyes. Embry sat next to them with a look of disgust on his face, while Quil was standing behind him bouncing Claire in his arms to the beat of the music. Every once in a while, the toddler would shriek with delight. Seth sat next to Embry watching Quil dance with Claire as I took in the whole scene with the love of my life on my right arm. Bella sat in the chair next to me, her hand in mine, her soft cheek on my shoulder.

"Hey," I leaned towards her and she looked up at me. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she smiled broadly. "Just tired."

"What have you done to be tired?" I teased her.

"It's a lot of work being a bridesmaid," Bella shot me a look, defending herself.

"Just wait until you're the bride," I winked at her and watched her blush.

I placed my hand on top of the one that already held Bella's and felt something brush against my finger. I glanced down and was surprised to find the delicate chain around her wrist that held the small carving of the wolf I had given her many months ago, back when I needed to know that part of me was with Bella all the time. Now, gazing into her eyes, I knew I didn't have to worry about that anymore.

"I found it when I was cleaning my room," Bella smiled at me. "I was afraid I had lost it."

"I'm glad you didn't." I picked up the small wolf, remembering back to when I had made it for her. I gently spun the bracelet on her wrist, stopping when I found the crystal charm that also occupied the silver chain. I looked up at Bella and I could sense her body become rigid.

She met my gaze. "Edward gave that to me."

"Ok," I smiled reassuringly at her, confused by her sudden reserved manner.

"I'll take it off the bracelet, if you want me to," her voice was cautious.

I knitted my brow. "Why would I want you to do that? It was a gift, right?"

Bella nodded.

"Then keep it," I rubbed her hand with my finger. "He was a part of your life too, Bella."

She smiled, completely at ease again, and I leaned down and kissed her forehead. Just then, Emily burst through the thick crowd that had taken over the dance floor and glared at all of us.

"What are you all doing sitting down!?" Her face was flushed. "Get up! Come on, it's a good song!"

"I'm already dancing!" Quil shot back, spinning around as Claire giggled.

"Embry's not!" Emily smacked him on the shoulder.

"Yes I did," Embry mumbled. "I danced during the last song. You missed it."

"Liar," Seth laughed. Embry shot him a cold look, quickly silencing him.

"Bella!? Jacob, please!?" Emily begged.

I held up my hand. "I'm pacing myself."

"Oh, all right," I heard Bella sigh next to me as she let go of my hand.

Emily squealed and picked up the flowing skirt of her dress, rounding the table to where Bella now stood and grabbed her hand. As Emily dragged her out to the dance floor, she glanced over her shoulder at me and shrugged.

"Bridesmaid," she mouthed, and I nodded in acceptance. I quickly lost sight of her in the dense crowd.

"Whew," Embry sighed. "Remind me to thank Bella later."

"Does anyone need anything to drink?" Seth stood up from the table.

I shook my head.

Seth glanced over at Jared and Kim, who were obviously too absorbed in each other to realize that a general announcement had been made.

"Coke, please," Embry held up a finger.

Seth stared down at him. "Coming right up, honey."

"Thank you, darling," Embry imitated Seth's sarcastic tone.

Seth shook his head. "You would turn out to be my date tonight," he mumbled as he strode away from the table.

I chuckled to myself at the pack's usual way of amusing themselves. Even though he was younger, I felt that Seth had managed to hold his own with his older pack brothers, and some had even begun to respect him. He had also been given the challenge of escorting Leah down the aisle, which wasn't a task any of us had been willing to accept.

Embry caught my eye. "Guess he doesn't feel like dealing with his sister anymore than he already has to."

I shrugged.

"Can you blame him?" Quil stood between the two of us, still swaying Claire to the music. "It seems like Leah's gotten worse recently."

"Well, I'm sure the wedding didn't help things," Embry mused, throwing another glance my way. "Then she gets shot down by this one too."

I felt my face flush. "Embry, not now."

"I have to hand it to you, Jake," Embry continued, ignoring my cold stare. "From what she remembers, that was a pretty intense make out session."

"Hey," Quil snapped. "Keep it PG, there are children present."

"So you didn't feel anything for her, Jake?" Embry turned his questioning to me again, ignoring Quil.

For a moment, I thought back to that day at the house. Leah worked so hard to show all of us she was stronger than we gave her credit for, and that was the first time I saw her falter. I refused to allow the other pack members to think any less of her and I realized Leah needed someone to stand up for her, now more than ever.

I set my jaw. "Drop it, Embry."

"Seriously?" Embry looked betrayed. "I don't even get details, after I have to watch all of you-"

"You know, Embry," I interrupted him. "You're starting to become just as bitter as Leah."

My observation seemed to work as Embry's mouth dropped open at when he apparently saw as the ultimate insult. Completely flabbergasted, he slowly turned to Quil for moral support.

"Jacob's right," Quil stood nodding his head. "You need to imprint, Embry. You're just lonely and bitter."

"Unbelievable," Embry mumbled to himself and turned away from us, gazing out towards the dance floor, choosing to surrender the argument.

I remained silent, biting my tongue at my pack mate's defeat. Now that the conversation had died down, the personal questions Embry had been bothering me with still kept coming back to me. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't forget that day at the house. The way Leah threw herself at me, the unfamiliar sensation of her embrace, and the crushing look in her eyes when she realized I didn't share the same feelings. I still felt a need to defend her honor in front of the pack, but I couldn't tell if I was doing her a favor, or just making the situation worse.

"Hey, where _did_ Leah get to anyway?" Embry's voice cut into my thoughts.

I paused for a minute, realizing I hadn't seen Leah in a few hours. The three of us began to scan the vast crowd, attempting to spot the missing member of the bridesmaids. I began to grow worried, wondering if the wedding had been too much for her. Just as I was about to get up from my seat to look for her, the crowd on the dance floor parted and I found Leah.

My heart nearly stopped as I watched her sway to the music wrapped in the arms of another man, a warm smile spread across her face. Neither of them seemed to notice the crowd surrounding them, much less the music, and Leah brought herself closer to her dance partner and rested her head against his chest. She closed her eyes as he kissed the top of her head. I smiled to myself as I realized I no longer needed to defend Leah in front of the others. Nothing they could say would affect her now, and she no longer needed me. Leah was now complete. She had imprinted. She had found her second half.

"She's fine," I broke the silence as Quil and Embry looked back at me.

"You found her?" Quil looked back over Claire's head at the mass of people. "Where is she?"

"Don't worry about it," I mumbled as another couple swayed in front of them, blocking my view. "I said she's fine."

I glanced over at them as Quil's face went slack. He nudged Embry and motioned in the direction I had last seen Leah on the dance floor.

"Ahh shit," Embry groaned as he discovered what held Quil's attention. "Not her too!"

"Shh!" Quil held Claire's ear against his chest. "Watch your language." Quil turned and walked away from our table, leaving Embry shaking his head.

"We're never going to hear the end of this," Embry mumbled to himself. "And we'll have to watch it every waking moment…"

"It's not so bad," I caught a quick glance of Leah and her partner through the crowd, their arms still tight around each other.

"Speak for yourself," Embry groaned.

Suddenly, I caught sight of Sam through the crowd as he began making his way over to our table. He breezed past Leah and her partner, thankfully not noticing them.

"Oh look, shrimp puffs!" Embry jumped out of his chair to chase down an appetizer tray, apparently noticing Sam's approach as well.

Apparently Jared and Kim came back to reality that instant as well because Jared suddenly grabbed Kim, and the two of them disappeared across the room. Before I could say anything, Sam pulled up the chair next to me and collapsed in it.

"Ugh, I'm exhausted!" Sam groaned, loosening his tie. "I was so glad when Emily wanted to dance with the girls. We still have four more tables to visit with and I need a break."

I looked up and spotted Seth making his way back to our table with two sodas. From out of nowhere, Embry grabbed him by the arm and seemed to whisper a warning in Seth's ear. The two of them glanced over at our table, then both made their way quickly in the opposite direction. Apparently, I was on my own.

"It is your wedding," I reminded him, making polite conversation.

"I don't even know half these people," Sam mumbled next to me.

"Don't worry," I chuckled, reaching over and patted him on the back. "By tonight, you will."

Sam glared at me. "Keep it up. Just wait until it's your wedding, you'll have all this to look forward to."

A warmth spread through my chest at the thought, and I couldn't help but smile. "I think I can handle it."

"We'll see," Sam rolled his eyes. "Hey, where's the rest of the pack?"

As Sam sat up and began to scan the crowded room, I suddenly felt the need to distract him.

"Oh, uh… Well you know the guys, they're probably where the food is."

"That's probably true, although maybe Emily dragged them out on the dance floor along with…"

Sam's voice trailed off and I could tell he froze next to me. I kept my gaze straight forward, knowing I didn't need to turn my head. I knew what he saw.

"Is that… Leah?" he whispered.

"Yeah," I answered, figuring there was no reason to avoid the issue. "Do you know who she's dancing with?"

"…She's with Jack."

I knitted my brow as the tone of his voice unsettled me. Curious, I forced myself to turn in his direction and was stunned at what I saw. Sam's gaze was intently fixed on Leah, his jaw clenched. I had never seen him look at her with such intensity, such jealousy… At least not since he met Emily.

"Sam…" I began, unsure of his reaction. "You know him?"

"Yeah, he's a friend of mine," Sam's voice seemed distant. "We've been friends for years. We used to go to school together, until he moved away…"

I stayed silent while I watched Sam come to the realization that Leah had now met the most important person in her life. The same painful realization that Leah herself had already been through with Sam.

"She imprinted, didn't she?" he asked me through his teeth.

I turned my gaze to Leah again briefly, then back at Sam, realizing I had nothing to say that would make him feel better.

"Isn't it obvious?" I shrugged.

Instead of answering me, Sam chose to sit in tense silence again, his stare never leaving Leah and Jack. He clenched his fists and I could tell he was breathing deeper, lost in his own thoughts.

"Sam-"

"I love _Emily_," he spat as his hands trembled.

"I know."

"She's my wife," Sam shifted his gaze to my face, his eyes blazing. "She's my imprint, I have to love her, there is nothing I can do about it even if I wanted to."

"I know, Sam." My heart sank as I watched the torment churn in his eyes. "None of us really have a choice."

Sam's gaze softened and he looked back at Leah and Jack on the dance floor, who were still content on swaying each other gently to the music.

"I had no choice," his voice came out in barely a whisper. "It was beyond my control, I had no choice…"

"Sam…"

My pack mate turned his tired eyes to mine again.

"She's happy," I reassured him in a low whisper. "You know she's complete now, this is what she wanted." I slowly shook my head, remembering back to when Leah frantically kissed me on the front steps of the house. "She deserves this."

"I know she does," Sam looked back towards the dance floor. "But, _Jack_? Why did it have to be Jack?"

"Well, you imprinted on Leah's cousin," I challenged him.

Sam glared at me out of the corner of his eye.

"Like I said before," I continued. "We don't-"

"I know we don't have a choice, Jacob," Sam turned his frustration on me as his gaze searched my face. "And neither do you."

My entire body froze with those words, and I couldn't help the defensive stance I took as he glared at me.

"Please Sam, don't start this now," I slowly shook my head. "Not here."

"Just don't think you're immune to this, Jake," Sam's condescending glare never faltered. "Like you said… _None_ of us have a choice, it's already been made for us."

I breathed deep and even, trying to calm my trembling shoulders. "It's different with Bella."

"Bullshit," Sam snapped at me. "Did you imprint on her?"

I set my jaw. "It doesn't matter."

"You're being a hypocrite, Jake," Sam pushed. "Don't think that I didn't feel the same way for Leah at one point."

I chose to remain silent, the two of us ceasing our bickering for the moment. I didn't want to argue with Sam, but I was also too terrified to admit that he could be right. I was completely in love with Bella, and I knew I would sacrifice everything for her, but was it enough? My adoration for her had grown over time, it wasn't something that hit me all at once. Was that the same as imprinting? Either way, Bella was everything to me, and I knew there was no other. I refused to accept that my life wasn't in my hands, that it was up to some inexplicable fate that brought two perfect strangers together for reasons none of us really understood. If we had already found someone we love, what was this other person brought into our lives for? And where did the devotion we felt for our previous partner go? Now, as Sam watched Leah in the arms of his friend, I understood that these feelings didn't completely disappear. Even with an imprint.

"Look, Jacob, I'm sorry," Sam eventually broke our silence. "I would just hate for you to go through the same thing I did… Having to break the heart of someone you once devoted yourself to."

I glanced over at him and he met my gaze, shaking his head.

"And then I had to watch Leah's thoughts every time she saw me…" his voice trailed off. He turned from me and looked back out on the dance floor. "At least she's happy now. That's all that matters."

I had nothing else to say, at least nothing I wanted to say out loud. Thankfully at that moment, Emily appeared through the crowd and made her way over to where Sam and I sat. I watched all the anguish and torment melt away from Sam features as he looked up and beheld his bride who nearly ran to him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Jacob, do you mind of I borrowed my husband for a little while?" she giggled.

"Of course," I grinned at her. "I don't want him."

Emily dragged Sam up from his chair and the two of them continued the visitation of their wedding guests. I stayed at the table by myself, mulling over what had just happened. After voicing his frustration to me, Sam seemed content, but our discussion only left me with more questions. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get his words out of my head. The more I thought about it, the more helpless I felt. And the more helpless I felt, the more angrier I became.

I found Bella on the perimeter of the dance floor, watching the other couples dance. I lightly placed my hand on the small of her back and she greeted me with a warm smile.

"Hey," I took her hand tentatively. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Of course."

I could see the concern in her eyes, but she allowed me to escort her from the crowd. I led her out into the hotel lobby, away from the crowds and the pounding music, and found a quiet corner. When I knew we were alone for the moment, I quickly turned towards Bella and pulled her to me, kissing her passionately. She felt rigid in my arms at first, but soon gave into my embrace. Eventually I let her go, cradling her delicate face in my hands as we both breathed deeply.

"I love you, Isabella," I sighed, watching her blush.

"Is that what you brought me out here to tell me?" she teased.

"Well, yes that's part of it." I was relieved that her teasing calmed my nerves a little.

"Jake, are you alright?" She gently placed one of her hands on top of mine that still rested against her cheek. "You seem distracted."

I took a deep breath. "Leah imprinted."

I watched Bella's reaction carefully as she knitted her brow and took in what I had said. "Imprinted?"

I nodded.

"On who?"

"A friend of Sam's, actually," I explained.

"Oh," Bella raised an eyebrow. "How do you know? Have you talked to her?"

"No, I haven't spoken with her yet," I took my hands from Bella's face and interlaced our fingers together. "But we can tell, they've been inseparable all night."

Bella slowly nodded as a smile crept across her face. "Good for Leah. I can't imagine how awful it must have been watching Sam and Emily together, and I know she had an interest in you for a little while," Bella squeezed my hands. "I'm just glad she found someone."

"Me too," I smiled warmly at her.

Bella opened her mouth to speak, but paused for a moment. "Can I ask a strange question?"

"Sure."

She seemed to glance over her shoulder, making sure there was no one within ear shot. "Does Sam know about this?"

I attempted to gather some of my thoughts together before I spoke. "Sam does know," I kept my voice hushed. "And he's a little upset about it."

A perplexed look came across Bella's face. "Sam's upset?"

"I think he must still have some feelings towards Leah," I nodded. "I guess not all the feelings you had for someone just disappear with an imprint."

"Well, I think he has some nerve," Bella spoke with acid in her voice. "Leah is none of his concern anymore, he has a wife now."

"I know, Bella," I kept my voice calm. "It's complicated."

"I don't see anything complicated about it," she began to raise her voice. "He left her. Sam chose Emily over Leah, and whatever Leah does to move on with her life is her business."

"Bella please," I watched the anger build in her gaze. "It wasn't his choice-"

"Oh, don't give me that imprinting crap," Bella snarled and attempted to rip her hands from mine, but I held her fast. "So none of you are actually in charge of your own lives? You just completely surrender responsibility for your actions? If Sam wanted to be with Leah, then he would have stayed with her."

"Bella, just listen-"

"Did you imprint on me, Jake?"

I froze. "What?"

"Did you imprint?" Bella stared into my eyes, her body trembling as she waited for my answer.

My mind was racing. "I-I don't know."

Bella turned on her heels and began to storm away from me. I quickly grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back to me, dodging her flailing arms as she tried to get as far away from me as she could.

"Let me go, Jake!" she snapped.

"No, Bella," I tried to hold her steady so that we wouldn't make a complete scene in the lobby. "Just listen to me, please."

Bella's struggling soon relented and she became slack in my grasp. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes, which only fueled my anguish.

"Bella," I began, trying to keep my voice steady. "I told you already, I love _you_."

"But how do you know that for sure?" she whispered, the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. "If the universe hasn't told you that we're meant to be together, then how do you know?"

"I don't need the universe to tell me that I'm hopelessly in love with you. I figured that out all on my own," I snorted.

"But," Bella sighed, "what happens years from now when you pass someone on the street, or you catch someone's eye across a crowded room? What happens to me, after we've invested so much together? What do I do then?"

"That's not going to happen, Bella," I placed my hands on her waist and pulled her against me.

"But how do you know?" she argued with me. "If you haven't imprinted-"

"Oh, screw imprinting!" I snarled, cutting her off.

I let go of Bella and turned away from her hurt expression, walking a couple paces to clear my head. Every time I closed my eyes, I still saw Sam's look of anguish as he watched Leah find the person who would vanquish all the painful memories of her past. Memories of him. I couldn't bear the thought of not waking up next to Bella every morning for the rest of my life, or some part of me ever feeling like we didn't belong together. I slowly and painfully turned around, and my heart nearly shattered as I found Bella still standing where I'd left her. She was crying, but stood waiting for me to gather my thoughts. I closed the space between us, gathering her hands in mine again.

"Bella, imprinting is bullshit."

She kept silent, watching me carefully.

"I brought you out here to tell you this… You are my choice." I clutched her hands with an almost desperate need. "I don't give a shit what the cosmos, or the universe, or what any other unseen force tells me. I am the one who's in charge of my life and nothing is going to change what you and I have."

Bella reached up and gently touched my face and my heart nearly stopped as she gazed at me with adoration.

"Jake," her voice was tentative. "Where did this come from? What's got you so upset?"

I sighed, leaning into her embrace. "Sam told me I was next. That I was arrogant to think I wasn't going to imprint, and that what we have might not be real."

Bella slowly shook her head. "Sam's just bitter from seeing things through his own perspective. Do you believe what he says?"

"No," I shook my head.

"Then that's what's important," she smiled faintly.

I nodded, allowing myself to gaze into her eyes. "I love you, and I always will."

"I know, and you'd better," she winked.

"Bella," I took a shaky breath. "If something ever happens, and I-I meet someone else…"

"Jake," she shook her head. "I don't want to think about that, alright? Let's just say, we'll cross that bridge if we come to it."

I nodded, taking her in my arms and hugging her tightly.

"Come on," she said, slipping out of my embrace and taking my hand. "We're going to miss the bouquet toss."

***

The next morning I awoke in a daze with a slight pounding in my temples. I rolled onto my side with a groan and pushed my aching body into a sitting position. As I ran my hands through my sleep-tousled hair, vague memories of the night before began to come back to me. I remembered many hours of dancing, the reception party that went well into the early morning hours, and Embry chatting up one of the waitresses who insisted on serving the wedding party multiple glasses of champagne. I was still dressed in my tuxedo pants, but my jacket and dress shirt were nowhere to be found. I pushed myself out of bed and stretched, summoning up the energy to get a hot shower and some regular clothes on.

It was then that I heard a strange noise coming from the kitchen. It sounded like someone was rummaging through cabinets, and a few pots and pans were clanging together. Wanting to make sure I wasn't being robbed, I opened the bedroom door and strode out into the hallway. As I made my way towards the kitchen, I could smell fresh coffee being brewed and a batch of pancakes on the stove. At least whomever was robbing me was kind enough to cook me breakfast first. I reached the end of the hallway and leaned on the frame of the doorway, taking in the sight in front of me.

Bella had set out two plates on the counter and she was busy flipping pancakes on a skillet next to a pan that held strips of sizzling bacon. She glanced up and caught sight of me.

"Good morning," she smiled brightly. "Rough night?"

"Yeah, you could say that," I groaned, unable to force back a yawn.

"Coffee?" Bella offered with a knowing smirk.

"Sure." I rubbed the sleep from my eyes as I glanced around and realized a couple boxes now took up the space in front of my door. "What's going on?" I mumbled.

Bella raised an eyebrow. "I have a few demands."

I glanced at the boxes, then back at her. "Okay…"

"Whenever I cook, then you get to do the dishes. Deal?"

I thought for a moment. "Okay, deal."

"And I only need about half your closet," Bella shot a sideways glance at me as she placed a stack of pancakes on one of the plates.

I crossed the room and came to lean against the countertop in front of her, a smile pulling on my lips. "Anything else?"

"I snore, sometimes." Bella placed a couple strips of bacon on the plate in front of me. "And occasionally I take over control of the TV remote, you just have to accept it."

I nodded slowly.

"Hey, you wanted me to move in with you!" Bella held her hands up. "I'm just warning you about a few things now…"

"No no, it's fine," I assured her. "But is this it?"

Bella froze. "Is what it?"

"Is this all you cooked?" I glanced around the kitchen. "Because if you're going to be living here, you do realize I require a lot of food."

She rolled her eyes. "Ok, noted."

Bella picked up one of the plates and held it up for me. I went to take it from her but she kept a firm grip on it, looking into my eyes.

"Charlie told me it was my decision, my choice. But that he was happy the two of us are getting married, and he realized we'd be moving in with each other eventually."

I smiled.

Bella sighed. "And then I got the whole 'I'm so proud of you' speech, and I could swear there were some tears."

Bella let go of my plate and I deposited it on the kitchen table, turning back to face her. She poured each of us a glass of orange juice and set them on the counter, looking back at me.

"So I just brought over some clothes and shoes," she motioned to the boxes. "And maybe I'll stay over some nights as I slowly move in."

I nodded, watching her carefully.

"But I just had to know I was ready. I just needed some time…"

"You know I understand, Bella. Let's worry about this later, ok?" I interrupted her, picking up my glass of orange juice and holding it up. "Breakfast first."

Bella grinned and raised her glass to mine. "To breakfast."

"Breakfast, then unpacking." I winked at her.

"No," Bella shook her head slowly. "Breakfast, then dishes. Then unpacking."

My face dropped as she giggled. "Fine, you win. Don't get too used to that."

We clinked our glasses together and I leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. Bella grabbed her plate and came over to join me at the table, for our first breakfast together in our new home.

* * *

_Just so everyone knows, before anyone freaks out… I will not, WILL NOT, write about Jacob imprinting on someone else. I know some could argue it's a possibility, and I'm sure people have written that plot twist in other fics… But it will not happen in mine. I have enough drama already planned for this story, so don't worry, this will stay a BellaxJacob pairing ;)_


	11. Apologies

_What can I possibly do for a group of awesome readers who have been so unbelievably patient with me and my sporadic updating?_

_Hmmmm…_

_Why, update of course!! :D Hopefully the end of my insane work schedule/life is drawing to a close and I can finally get back to focusing on doing the things I love – Like writing. So I hope you all enjoy the latest chapter, and leave some love if you would like to :)_

_And one more thing…_

_:::Steamy Jacob hugs for everyone!!:::_

* * *

**11. APOLOGIES**

I stood on the small wood porch, the floorboards creaking in the humid air under my feet. The clouds had obscured the morning sun and a heavy rain was now falling, although I was thankful that the porch had an awning. The extra moisture in the air caused pieces of my hair to curl. I knocked again on the front door, louder this time, making my knuckles ache. I stepped back again and surveyed the house, noticing that most of the lights were off and there were no cars in the driveway. Just as I was about to give up and run back to the truck in the torrential downpour, I heard muffled noises inside. I attempted to cease my fidgeting once I heard the lock separate from the door frame and the handle slowly turned. I forced my feet to stand their ground as the front door opened to reveal Angela, gazing back at me in complete shock.

"Bella?" she gasped, staring at me as though she never expected to see me again.

"Hey Angela," I smiled shyly, wary of just what her reaction would be. I shifted nervously in my skirt and blouse, an outfit I was not used to wearing.

Angela seemed to snap out of her daze. "Oh my God, it's so good to see you!" she exclaimed, lunging forward and pulling me in a tight hug.

"It's so good to see you too, I missed you," I smiled as the distance from the past couple years instantly melting away.

She pulled back and looked me over, holding me at arm's length. "We have so much to catch up on! Please, come in!"

Angela turned and made her way back into her parent's house and I followed closely behind her. I closed the front door as Angela switched on a few lights in the dark living room.

"I'm sorry if you were waiting long," she apologized. "My parents are out running errands and I was upstairs, I didn't even hear your truck pull up."

"It's ok, no problem," I replied as I settled onto the sofa, feeling relief that I was still welcome in Angela's home. "So what have you been up to since graduation?"

"Well," she sat across from me on the sofa. "Ben and I are attending the same college, and that's going well. Do you want anything to drink?"

"No, I'm fine," I declined politely.

"So I'm just home on break for a little while," Angela shrugged. "Plus I had a ton of laundry that has piled up since midterms."

I laughed. "I can understand that."

"So, how have you been?" Angela wrapped her arms around her knees. "It's been a while since I've seen you, what have I missed?"

"Well, I cringed, "that's part of the reason I came over."

"Ok," Angela's face became cautious. "What is it, Bella?"

"I just wanted to apologize," I began.

"Apologize for what?"

'_For becoming obsessed with my vampire boyfriend.'_

I smiled. "For not staying in touch as much as I should have, and for taking advantage of a good friend," I explained. "During our last year of high school, I feel like I spent too much time with Edward and I abandoned everyone else."

"Oh, Bella," Angela shook her head. "I don't see it that way at all, I understood that you had a boyfriend. I mean, I had Ben."

"Yes, but Ben was a friend of mine as well," I pointed out. "Edward… Well, Edward kept his distance from everyone. And I guess that affected me as well."

Angela smiled warmly. "Nevertheless, no hard feelings. I'm just glad you stopped by to catch up. You're here now, that's what's important."

I nodded as I felt the rest of my anxiety cease, and I was grateful that I still had such a good friend in Angela.

"And hey, maybe you should bring Edward around more," Angela suggested. "I'm sure once he gets to know your friends better, he'll like us. We're not that scary, right?"

I cringed. "Well…"

"Ok, maybe don't bring him around Mike, those two didn't seem to hit it off very well," Angela continued.

"Well, actually," I interrupted her. "That won't be a problem. Edward and I aren't together anymore."

"Oh!" the color rushed to Angela's cheeks. "Bella, I'm so sorry, I had no idea-"

"No, no, it's fine," I assured her.

"I feel so bad, I wish I had known," Angela furiously explained with pity in her eyes.

"Angela please, it's alright," I reassured her. "Like you said, we have a lot to catch up on."

"Yeah, apparently," she shook her head. "So… How have you been? I mean, since you and Edward broke up…"

Out of habit, I braced myself to push back the hurtful memories of that day. Memories that usually crowded my thoughts with the mention of his name. After a moment, I was surprised to find nothing haunting me this time, and the relief of that caused me to smile a little.

"I'm alright, actually," I explained carefully. "I just began to see the relationship in a different light, I guess."

Angela sat quietly, listening to my every word.

"And everything just, changed," I continued. "And I think I just wasn't ready for what those changes brought."

"That can happen, unfortunately, but at least you realized that before you did something you might regret," Angela took a supportive tone.

I nodded in agreement, pondering over the irony in regretting such a decision. For Angela, it meant the end of a relationship. For me, it would have meant the end of my life.

"Well, I'm glad you were able to stand up for yourself and do what you needed to do," Angela stated. "It sounds like you made the right decision."

"Yes," I smiled. "I believe I did."

"So, you're single now?" Angela pointed out. "Ben has a couple friends from college that I'm sure he'd be glad to set you up with. We can always do a group thing if you're more comfortable with that…"

I grinned sheepishly as Angela persisted on discussing my love-life. After I hadn't said anything for a few minutes, she gradually got quiet.

"…What? Am I getting ahead of myself?"

"Well," I attempted to hide my smile. "I sort of started seeing someone-"

"Oh my God, Bella!! You're ENGAGED!?" Angela exclaimed as she pounced on me from across the couch. She grabbed my left hand and held it up to her face.

"Oh! Um, yeah I am," I grinned as she studied the diamond perched on my finger. "It just kind of happened-"

"It's gorgeous!" she nearly cried. "When did this happen!? And who proposed!?"

"Um, about six months ago," I explained, my left hand still being held captive. "And I don't remember if you know him… Jacob Black?"

Angela looked up at me. "Your engaged to Jacob Black? Of course I know Jacob! And you two grew up together, didn't you?"

"Yes," I smiled. "We did."

"Awwww Bella," Angela set my hand down. "That's so wonderful, I'm so happy for you. Congratulations."

After the initial awkward moments, Angela and I settled into a casual conversation that reminded me much of our lunchroom discussions. I was pleased that we had renewed our friendship, and now that I didn't have as many distractions as before, I knew that I would be able to look forward to many more visits with her. Once I'd spend a considerable amount of time at Angela's, I checked the clock and had to excuse myself. I still had a lot more to accomplish today. Angela walked me to the door and I noticed the steady rain had begun to relent. I turned and gave my close friend another hug.

"Thanks again for stopping by, Bella," she said over my shoulder. "And good luck with your interview."

"Thank you," I groaned as she let me go, and I flashed the best optimistic smile I could muster.

"Don't worry," Angela shook her head. "You'll do fine."

I paused for a moment, the nervous twitching staring again. "Before I go, I-I wanted to ask you something," I began.

"What is it, Bella?" Angela smiled warmly.

"Well," I fidgeted with my ring, "it's entirely up to you, but I would love for you to be one of my bridesmaids-"

"Yes!" Angela squealed before I could barely finish my sentence. "Yes! Of course I'll be a bridesmaid! I'd love to!"

"Oh, great!" I breathed a sigh of relief as Angela grasped my hands in her excitement.

"But Bella, you'd better run or you're going to be late," she reminded me.

I let go of her hands and began making my way towards the truck. "I'll call you to let you know about any details," I glanced over my shoulder.

"Can't wait!" Angela waved. "Let me know how the interview goes!"

I jogged carefully in my heels in the diminishing rain and climbed into the dry cab of the truck. Turning the motor over, I switched on the windshield wipers and cleared the moisture from the glass. After casting a final wave to Angela, I put the truck in gear and let the tires roll as I reversed out onto the main road.

***

Feeling completely dejected, I sat in the cramped office at the end of a long hallway with the glare from the fluorescent lighting slowly giving me a headache. My confidence had faded several minutes ago, and now I sat in the painful silence waiting to be released from my current misery. The man grinned a fake smile from behind his desk.

"Thanks again for coming in, Elizabeth. We're all set here."

I felt my face grow hot with frustration. "It's Isabella," I corrected him.

"Right," the man pushed himself out of his desk chair and thrust his hand in my face. "We'll give you a call once we make a decision."

I took his clammy hand in mine and forced a pleasant smile, even though I knew it made little difference. "Thank you for your time."

My charm was gone the second I closed the door to his office and began to make my way back down the long hallway. As I passed through the lobby on my way out the door, I glanced over at the other applicants that were interviewing for the same position. Judging by the way my evaluation had just gone, I knew I posed no threat to them. The agony over the past half hour began to clear from my mind as I stepped outside into the fresh air on my way to the truck.

The rain had let up completely but a haze still hung in the sky and draped itself across the treetops of the surrounding forests as I made my way into town. Not wanting to face the daunting task of landing another interview, I pulled into a spot at the local convenience store and cut the engine. Besides a couple local fisherman on their way home with the day's catch, the store was quiet. I grabbed a soda, a bag of chips and a sandwich, and handed the cashier some crumpled bills from my pocket. As I headed back outside, I reminded myself that that could have been the last money I would see for a while.

Back on the road, I spotted the familiar sign ahead on my left-hand side and instantly I felt my heart begin to lift. I switched on my turn signal and waited for the traffic to cease before I turned into the small parking lot next to the mechanics garage. I slipped into a spot between two rusting classic cars, both with enough parts missing to make up an entire new car. I grabbed the plastic bag of food and made my way towards the shop. Once inside, I was met with the familiar smells of oil, grease, and gasoline. The guys had the radio on in the shop, and above the screaming rock music I could hear one of the bays lifting up a customer's car.

"Hey Bella," Dave stood behind the front desk and gave my outfit a once-over. "Have a hot date?"

"I'm afraid not," I grinned as I came to stand in front of the desk that was littered with carbon copies of bills and empty cans of Red Bull. "I've been out job hunting today."

"Really," Dave raised an eyebrow and reached behind him, knocking on the thick glass that separated the shop from the office. "How's that going?"

"Not so great," I shrugged.

Quil suddenly appeared in the window and peeked into the office. He caught sight of me, then waved and disappeared.

"What kind of job are you looking for?" Dave continued his questioning, scribbling something on the piece of paper in front of him.

"Anything really," I shook my head. "I put college on hold for the moment, so just something to make some extra money while I figure everything out."

"Maybe put some of it towards a wedding?" Dave shifted his eyes to my face and grinned his tobacco-stained teeth at me.

I felt myself blush. "Yes, there's that too."

Just then, the door from the shop opened and Jacob set his dark eyes on my face, giving me a wide smile. Just his presence left me weak in the knees as he stood in front of me in his work uniform, and I couldn't help myself from stealing glances at him. Jacob's navy t-shirt was discolored from grease and oil stains, and seemed to cling tighter to his firm chest. He ran a hand through his messy hair, streaking more dirt across the side of his face. I felt my cheeks blush when I remembered his boss was still in the room with us, who thankfully was still currently too absorbed in paperwork to notice me.

"Hey, is Dave bothering you?" Jacob teased, grabbing a greasy towel off the front desk.

I watched him in acute fascination, wondering how he could possibly clean his hands with such a filthy rag.

"What do you mean 'Is Dave bothering you?'" Dave mumbled gruffly. "I'm a perfect angel, you know me."

"Yeah, I know you," Jacob dropped the rag on the desk. "Which is why I'm asking."

He then turned his attention to me. "I would hug you, but…" he glanced down at his clothes.

"I understand, thank you," I smiled, wondering if he knew one of the reasons I visited him at work was so I could catch glimpses of him all sweaty and filthy.

"So, what are you doing here?"

I held up the plastic bag. "I brought you a snack."

Jacob's eyes lit up and he playfully smacked Dave's shoulder. "Do you see what a wonderful fiancé I have?"

I blushed again as Jacob took the bag from me and examined its contents. He held up the bag of chips just as Quil pushed open the door to the office.

"Hey, food!" Before Jacob could react, Quil snatched the bag out of his hand and disappeared back into the shop. "Thanks, Bella!"

I stifled laughter as Jacob shook his head at me.

"Wait, didn't you just take your lunch break?" Dave pointed out.

"Didn't you hear the lady?" Jacob took the sandwich out of the bag, and held it up. "_This_ is a snack, and _that_ was lunch."

Dave shook his head and went back to his paperwork. "I don't know how you kids eat so much all day."

Jacob took a huge bite out of the sandwich before he was ambushed again, then turned to face me. "So how did the interview go?"

I thought back to the cramped office and the clammy handshake. "Don't ask, trust me."

"That bad?"

I nodded, feeling the discouragement hit me again. "I'll make some phone calls next week, follow up on a couple possibilities I guess…"

Jacob nodded slowly. "Don't worry about it, Bells. You'll find something," he mumbled through mouthfuls of sandwich.

"You know, Bella," Dave began casually as he poured himself a cup of coffee from the permanently stained coffee pot. "If you really need a job, I could use someone."

Jacob stopped chewing and stared at his employer. "Are you serious?"

"Well yeah, why not?" Dave stirred some sugar into his coffee. "If Bella wants to take care of everything up here, I can get more work done in the shop. Plus I've been needing to do inventory for a while."

Jacob glanced over at me and shrugged, a mischievous grin on his face.

"Well, what would you need me to do?" I asked.

Dave took a sip of coffee and glanced around the office. "You can hang out up here and answer the phone. Take care of customers who bring their cars in, and let the guys know what work needs to be done."

"Ok, I can do that," I smiled, my heart becoming a little lighter as I thought about all the time I could spend around Jake.

"And you can probably put this paperwork in better order than it is now," Dave waved a hand over the piles of bills that were taking over the desk.

"Yes, I'm good at that," I nodded as I surveyed the challenge that lay before me.

"Ok, sounds good to me," Dave confirmed as he turned to make his way into the shop.

I knitted my brow. "Umm…"

Hearing my confusion, Dave turned back around. "Do you have any questions, Bella?"

"Well… Do you need to interview me?"

"Interview?" Dave paused with his hand on the doorknob, a slight smile on his face. "That was your interview, Bella. You're hired, can you start Monday at 9AM?"

"Oh," I laughed, slightly embarrassed. "Um, yeah I'll be here."

"Does eight dollars an hour at 30 hours a week work for you for now?"

I nodded silently, still in a little bit of shock.

"Great," Dave crossed the room and held out his greased-stained hand. "Welcome aboard, then."

I forced myself to reach up and shake his hand, ignoring the feeling of the dirt he was beginning to grind into my skin.

Dave glanced down. "Do yourself a favor, Bella. Go invest in a couple pairs of jeans and some old t-shirts. We wouldn't want to ruin your fancy clothes."

"Thanks, Dave. I will."

Dave turned and began making his way back towards the shop. "Wear those nice clothes when this one takes you out on a date," he teased Jacob, playfully punching him in the arm as he passed. He opened the door to the shop, momentarily filling the office with a blaring guitar solo on the radio, then closed the door behind him leaving Jacob and I in silence again.

"See," Jacob smiled at me. "I told you not to worry about finding a job."

"I guess you were right," I sighed, feeling relieved. "I just didn't think it would be that easy."

"Well, you dressed for the part," Jacob pointed out. "And Dave knows you through me, so obviously you're someone he would feel comfortable with hiring… Someone may have even mentioned to him that you were available," he winked at me.

I shook my head at his cocky smirk. "You are too much sometimes." I made my way around the desk and stood in front of Jacob, keeping my hands at my sides. I reached up on my tip-toes and placed a kiss on his lips, the only spot on him that was clean. "Thank you," I whispered, as I took in Jacob's scent mixed with sweat and grease.

"You're welcome." Jacob's breath tickled my skin as he leaned in to kiss me again.

I loud banging noise nearly made me jump out of my skin, and we both turned to find Quil tapping on the thick glass with a wrench.

"Hey!" he snapped. "Quit making out with the receptionist and finish changing the oil in this car, I have brakes to work on and I need the lift!" Quil disappeared into the shop again with an evil cackle.

I winced. "I'm sorry, did I just open you up to more ridicule?"

"Maybe," Jacob shrugged. "But it's worth it if I get to see you at work every day."

I blushed.

"Hey, did you talk to Angela and Jessica this morning?" Jacob asked, genuine concern in his eyes.

"I spoke with Angela," I slowly nodded. "It was nice to see her again."

"I take it she wasn't too upset with you," Jacob smirked.

"No, you were right," I rolled my eyes. "And she's very excited to be a bridesmaid."

"See Bells, I told you everything would be fine between you two. And I'm sure things are alright with Jessica too."

I winced. "I didn't stop by Jessica's this morning, actually. I decided I'd talk to her some other time," I shrugged.

"Oh, ok," Jacob nodded. "Whenever you feel comfortable."

I began to fidget again. "Actually, I had another idea for my other bridesmaid…"

"Ok," Jacob watched me in anticipation. "Who?"

I cringed. "…Alice?"

Jacob's gaze didn't shift. "You want to ask Alice to be in our wedding?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you answering me in questions, Bella?" Jake smirked.

"I just wanted to make sure that was alright with you before I asked her," I explained.

"Of course it's alright with me," he slowly shook his head. "She's your friend, Bella. It's your choice, your decision."

I smiled warmly and nodded.

Jacob turned and placed his hand on the doorknob. "I'd better get back to work before Dave comes looking for me. Can I see you later tonight?"

"Of course," I nodded, taking a few steps away from him.

"Great. Oh, and Bells?"

"Yeah?" I stopped in my tracks.

"Seriously, invest in some old clothes. No work will ever get done around here if you keep coming in wearing skirts."

"I will, Jake," I winked at him. "See you later."

***

The fog had tapered off into a fine mist, and the early evening sun was attempting to peek through the clouds as I made my way back home. I felt confident that I had accomplished a lot today, and Charlie would be pleased that I started my new job on Monday. I was weary from all the errands I had done and I glanced over at the clock on the dashboard, deciding that I had time to take a nap before I'd have to start dinner. Staring hazily through the windshield, I realized I was drawing closer to another familiar area of town. I contemplated one more stop before heading home, a visit that I had been dreading for months. I shifted my foot to the brake pedal as the truck's transmission downshifted gears and I switched on my turn signal, listening to the quiet ticking from the dashboard. I told myself I was committed now. No backing down.

Determined to ignore my growing fear, I forced my hands to turn the wheel as I pointed the hood of the truck down the narrow wooded path that led to the Cullen's house. My heart was racing and the acid churned in my stomach as I crawled closer to the property, the rational part of me beginning to seriously question my decision to come here. I pressed on, knowing there was only one face I wanted to see, one smile who would make the rest of my anxiety disappear. I parked the truck in front of the expansive front porch and cut the engine, knowing that I had already made my presence known. There was no point in turning around now.

I took a few minutes to compose myself as I stared up at the monochromatic structure, feeling like part of it was staring back at me as well. I had no idea the kind of reception I was about to walk in to. I forced my trembling hand to let go of the steering wheel and wrapped my fingers around the door handle, willing myself to open the door. Just then, a lone figure came to stand in the doorway. I froze and stared back at them. I watched the features on the smooth pale face shift as they caught sight of me, and my heart warmed as I realized that I was still welcome. The front door opened just as I pulled the handle to get out of the truck.

Alice skipped down the stairs and pulled me into a hug just as I jumped out of the cab and landed on my feet.

"I was so glad when you decided to come visit!" she squealed in my ear, hugging me tight.

"I'm so happy to see you," I smiled as I remembered Alice's unique talent.

She pulled away from me, holding me at arm's length. "And my answer is 'yes', Bella! I'm so flattered you thought of me!"

I paused. "…Yes? Yes to what?"

Alice grinned wider. "To being your bridesmaid, silly!"

"Oh yes, for course," I pulled her into another hug. "I keep forgetting how easy it is to plan things with you."

Alice let me go, then grabbed my hand and began dragging me towards the house. "Come in, please. I have so much to tell you!"

Inside, I perched myself on a barstool in the contemporary kitchen, watching in silence as Alice rummaged through the cabinets.

"Bella, I'm such a terrible host," she mumbled, pushing useless items aside in the depths of the cabinets. "You should have given me more notice before you came over, I would have gone shopping."

"Alice, it's alright," I smiled.

"Well, we haven't needed human food around here for a while!" she joked, then quickly turned around to face me. "I'm sorry Bella, that wasn't a stab at you."

"Oh, I know," I forced a smile. "No offense taken."

Alice resumed her search, but soon gave up as she closed the final cabinet door. "I have some tea, would you like that?"

"That's fine," I obliged.

Alice turned and switched on the gas burner as I watched her in silence. I still remained fascinated by her effortless, fluid motions.

"So what's been going on with you, Bella?" Alice asked, coming to stand in front of me and filling up the tea kettle in the island sink.

I paused for a moment to collect my thoughts, quickly reliving the past several months in my mind.

"You know I can't see anything past that-" Alice seemed to catch herself and she cast a quick sideways glance in my direction. "I mean… You've been a little out of touch recently."

I took her gruffness to mean the pack, and I remembered the strange effects they all had on her powers. "Yes, Jacob and I do spend a lot of time together."

Alice placed two mugs on the counter, then turned around and gave me her undivided attention. "Bella, I apologize. I didn't mean to be rude. There's just been so many changes, it's been difficult to adjust to everything."

"I understand," I reached across the counter and placed my hand on hers. "And I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to talk to you sooner."

My thoughts shifted to that awful day outside my house… The look on Edward's face as he stared at my ring in his palm, Alice's troubled glance over her shoulder as she jumped into the car with him. My heart had ached that I would never see Alice again, and I always feared that she had come to despise me.

Alice wrapped her cold palms around my hand. "I desperately wanted to speak to you too, Bella. I just didn't want to upset you because I figured you were probably going through a lot."

I nodded, remembering those trying few days.

"But that's behind us," Alice continued. "And I'm glad you're here now."

"Me too."

"So," Alice replaced her conflicted stare with a pleasing smile. "You're engaged."

"I am," I confirmed.

"And you're happy?"

"Yes," I replied with absolute certainty. "But I-"

"Bella," Alice slowly shook her head, silencing me. "You don't need to explain anything. You're happy, and that's all I need to know."

The tea kettle began to whistle behind her on the stove. Alice released her grip on my hands and turned her back to me, removing the kettle from the flame. She poured the boiling water into the two mugs, then brought them over to the island with a cup of sugar. She slid a steaming mug towards me and I graciously took it. I stirred in some sugar, listening to the silver spoon hit the sides of the mug in the quiet kitchen.

"So," I began tentatively as I brought the cup to my lips. "How is everyone?"

Alice left her cup of tea sitting in front of her, untouched. She mulled over my question for a few moments before answering me.

"Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie went hunting," she began. "I believe you're already aware of Rosalie's upcoming wedding."

"Yes, I am," I nodded.

"You cannot imagine all the planning I've had to deal with when it comes to this wedding," Alice groaned.

I laughed politely. "I have no doubt she's put you to work."

Alice rolled her eyes. "I've lost count of the alterations I've had to make to her dress, she's driving Esme and I crazy. And the table settings she wants, and the decorations, and the entertainment…"

I listened politely as Alice vented, not at all surprised.

"It's not like it was with you, Bella," Alice continued. "Your wedding was simple and fun to plan. I miss that."

She suddenly stopped talking, then picked up her cup and took a rare sip of tea, seeming to stall for time. My stomach tightened again with guilt.

"I'm sorry Bella," Alice began, placing her tea on the counter again. "I didn't mean to bring that up."

"It's alright," I reassured her. "I enjoyed those times with you as well."

Alice's gaze became distant again. "Anyway… Carlisle and Esme are on a trip together, they just wanted some time to themselves. They should be home in a couple days."

"Oh, that's nice." I took another sip of tea and tried to hide my disappointment. Besides seeing Alice, I would have loved to have seen Carlisle and Esme again.

The silence lay between us again as Alice chose not to continue. I didn't know if I had the heart to ask her what I really wanted to know, or if it was best that I continue to act as if he never existed. However, curiosity eventually got the best of me.

"And…" I began as I studied Alice's face. I could tell she knew what I wanted to ask, she didn't need any special powers to see that. I gave her a weak smile and shrugged. "How is he?"

Alice looked at me with sadness in her eyes. "Edward's gone."

Even though I had assumed such, the news still took me back a little. I glanced down at my tea, the house suddenly felt more empty and quiet around me. It almost began to feel like a stranger, like I no longer had any connections here. No memories, no ties.

"He's in Denali, Alaska," Alice continued, her delicate voice cutting through the thick silence.

I glanced up and her stare was distant, no doubt thinking back to the visions she'd had. She seemed to shake off what was bothering her and forced a smile in my presence.

"Alice, I'm so sorry," I repented. "This is all my fault."

"No Bella, don't put this on yourself," Alice argued with me.

"You know that's how I feel though," I pushed.

"Edward was the one who left."

Alice reached across the counter and placed her hand on mine again and I was shocked to find it warm, almost the same as my body temperature. Then I remembered she had just been holding her cup of tea.

Alice looked into my eyes. "You made your choice, and he made his. It's as simple as that."

She removed her hand from mine. "To be honest with you," Alice continued, "I'm glad Edward left. He's just not the same as he used to be."

I tried to push down the guilt again. "What do you mean?"

Alice seemed to hesitate as she shook her head, and I could tell she was being careful about what she would reveal to me.

"He's just different now," she began. "His morals, his beliefs… Everything changed. It's almost like he forgot all about them."

I kept silent, hoping she would continue.

Alice glanced around, then turned her gaze to me again, her expression one of fear. "Bella, he's considering joining the Volturi."

My blood ran cold, and a chill shivered down my spine. "He-He's what?" I stammered.

"He keeps changing his mind, my visions keep shifting," Alice's eyes glazed over again as she thought about what she had seen. "But at times, he's thinking about returning to Italy."

My hands began to tremble. "I… I don't understand."

"I haven't told the others," Alice whispered. "Carlisle, Esme, Jasper… They've asked me if I know anything about Edward's whereabouts, but I just can't bring myself to tell them."

My heart nearly broke as Alice looked at me with sadness in her eyes.

"Bella," she whispered, "I just don't know what's going to happen to my family."

Alice turned and deposited her tea cup in the sink behind us while hot tears pressed against my eyes. I couldn't help but feel responsible for everything that happened with Edward. I put my head in my hands, suddenly feeling dizzy, like the floor had dropped out from beneath my feet.

"Bella?"

I looked up to find Alice staring at me, the room slightly beginning to spin around her.

"Are you alright?" she began to make her way around the island towards me.

My thoughts slowly became clearer as everything began to sort itself out in my mind, the puzzle pieces began to shift and come together. All the events leading up to this point, everything I had been through with Edward came together into one terrifying realization. I glanced over at Alice who had come to sit beside me on another barstool, watching my face intently.

"Alice," I gasped, the air suddenly gone from my lungs. "They're going to kill me."

Alice was taken back for a moment. "Who? Bella, who do you think is going to kill you?"

"Edward." I trembled.

"What?" Alice knitted her brow. "No. No, Edward would never let any harm come to you, you know that."

"Yes, Edward and the Volturi," I stammered, the panic rising in my throat. "They're going to kill me, Alice."

"Bella, you're being silly," Alice smiled at me with the naïve look that I had nothing to fear. "Just because things didn't work out between the two of you does not mean that Edward-"

"No, please just listen to me," I spoke over her. "He's going to the Volturi and he's going to tell them I never became a vampire."

My heart froze as Alice stopped arguing with me.

"That was the agreement for my life, remember? I had to become one of you," my voice became frantic. "I-I had to die to live, but I didn't! I stayed a mortal and now I put us all in danger!"

"Bella!"

Alice placed both her hands on the side of my face and held me steady, and it was then that I realized I was gasping for air. I felt like I was drowning, my chest heaved violently but the air wasn't saturating my lungs.

"Bella, just breathe," Alice talked calmly, gazing directly into my eyes.

I kept my stare fixated on her copper-colored orbs, slowly feeling a sense of calm beginning to creep through my veins. The sobs still shook from my chest and tears streamed down my cheeks, but as I continued to stare at Alice, the throbbing in my chest began to diminish.

"Breathe… Breathe, Bella…" Alice repeated in her soothing voice.

The familiar scent of her breath close to my face helped ease my tension further, and soon all that was left was a dull throbbing in my chest. My cheeks felt damp against Alice's cold hands.

"Edward is not in Volterra," Alice's smooth voice began. "He's in Alaska. As far as I know, he has every intention of staying there."

I nodded slowly.

"You're getting yourself all worked up over something that hasn't even happened, something that we have no control over," Alice pointed out.

I continued to nod, grateful to have her composure at times like this.

"I'll keep an eye on Edward," Alice continued, "and in the meantime, try to relax Bella. You have nothing to worry about."

I sighed. "I know you're going to argue with me, but I still feel like this is all my fault," I whispered, feeling weak. "Because of what I did, and everything I have done up until this point…"

"This is your life too, Bella," Alice stared at me. "You are entitled to the choices you have made, same as Edward. You are not going to hold yourself completely responsible-"

"But I've affected your lives too," I groaned. "You and your family's."

"Yes, you have," Alice agreed. "Which means we're all in this together."

My frozen heart warmed a little.

"No matter what happens," Alice took my hands in hers again, her gaze steadfast. "We're in this together, alright?"

I nodded, suddenly feeling weary.

"Bella," Alice smiled at me with the ease of a loving mother. "Go home. You have nothing to worry about, and you know if anything happens I'll be the first to know."

A calm spread through me as I remembered Alice was always one step ahead of everyone, including Edward. She knew him just as well as I did, probably better by now, and I was comforted by how much faith I was still willing to put in her. I trusted her with my life. Without saying another word, I allowed her to take my hand lead me back to the foyer.

Alice turned to face me and we exchanged a gentle hug. "You look exhausted, Bella. Go home and rest."

"I will," my voice shook a little.

Alice pulled back while keeping a firm grip on my shoulders. "And I can tell you're worrying again. Stop worrying."

"I know," I forced a smile. "Please tell the others that I stopped by."

"They'll be upset they missed you," Alice let me go and politely opened the front door, stepping out onto the porch with me.

"Thanks for the tea," I smiled faintly and turned to leave.

"Bella."

I turned to face Alice, whose gaze I found to be distant again.

"I'll be in touch," she whispered.

I nodded, thinking that I detected a coolness to her voice.

"About the wedding, I mean," her tone suddenly became more upbeat. "Let me know what bridesmaid activities you'll be planning."

I forced a smile. "Of course. I'll let you know."

I turned and continued my way to the truck still feeling a little unsettled. I heard the front door close behind me and when I glanced over my shoulder, Alice was gone.

***

I quietly slipped into my house and closed the door behind me, sliding the heavy deadbolt lock into place. Even though I had promised Alice, I still couldn't shake the sense of dread I felt. Edward joining the Volturi, it just made perfect sense in my mind. They had a history with Carlisle, and they had already expressed an interest in Edward's talents. What was stopping him? According to Alice, he had already completely changed. I had no way of telling myself that he would never do such a thing, because as far as I was concerned, the Edward I had grown to love was gone.

I took a deep breath and forced my heartbeat to settle. Alice was right, I was getting ahead of myself. If I was in any imminent danger, she would have warned me. I pushed my back off the door and crossed into the kitchen. I could hear the television on in the living room behind me as I reached up and fetched a glass from the top shelf. I switched on the faucet, allowing the water to run ice cold before placing the glass underneath.

"Hey Bells!" Charlie called. "I didn't even hear you come in!"

"Hi Dad," I replied, taking a long sip of the refreshing water.

"There's some mail on the table for you!"

I turned and took the cup from my lips, making my way to the table where a few envelopes sat. I picked up the first one, recognizing another college application. I pushed that one aside, and was surprised to find the second covered in an elegant script. There was no return address, just my house information and my name. Curious, I ripped open the envelope and pulled out the intricate card framed in lace.

"_Mr. and Mrs. Carlisle Cullen request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter-"_

"Bella?"

I shoved the invitation back into the envelope as Charlie appeared in the doorway of the kitchen.

"How did the interview go?" Charlie asked.

"Oh," I sighed as I remembered my busy afternoon. "Not so well, I'm afraid. I don't think I'll be hearing from them anytime soon."

"That bad?" Charlie groaned.

I nodded.

"Oh well, don't let it get you down," Charlie shrugged. "You'll find something else." He turned to make his way back into the living room.

"Actually, Dad…"

Charlie turned back around to face me, his beer can in his hand.

I smiled. "I guess I don't have to worry about it anymore. I start my new job on Monday."

"Oh yeah?" Charlie beamed. "Where?"

"Jacob's shop," I explained. "I stopped over there and told Dave I was looking for a job. He said he could use someone to help out around the place, so I start Monday."

"That's great, Bells," Charlie smiled. "See, I told you you'd find something."

"Yeah," I nodded. "Well, I'm going to lay down for a little while. It's been a long day," I groaned and crossed the kitchen on my way upstairs, clutching the wedding invitation to my chest.

"Hey," Charlie caught me just as I was about to breeze past him.

"What?" I froze in my tracks.

Charlie motioned to the mail. "Anything exciting?"

I shook my head. "Nope." I began my ascent up the stairs.

"Thought I saw a college letter in there," Charlie's voice called after me.

"Nothing important!" I called back. "I'll be down later to start dinner, ok Dad!?"

"…Alright, Bella."

I paused at my bedroom door, hearing my father's defeated tone from the living room. Wanting to avoid another discussion about my future, for now at least, I retired to my bedroom and closed the door behind me.

* * *

_Goodnight, everyone!! :D_


	12. Reunion

_*Sigh._

_I know. It's been, what… 6 months? I can't even begin to apologize. I went a little crazy one day and quit my job. Then I got a new job, and now I'm going back to school… So needless to say I've been piling on the stress, but I finally made myself get back to writing. I promise I'll do my best to not make you guys wait so long again… And I really hope this chapter's worth the wait!__  
_

* * *

**12. REUNION**

The rhythmic thud of the windshield wipers was the only sound that filled the cabin of the truck as I drove to Jacob's, my scattered thoughts elsewhere. Billy had called earlier that morning and left a message with Charlie… A vague message that simply stated to have me stop by their house sometime that afternoon. I was grateful to have any kind of excuse to escape any more time alone with my father. Charlie had recently become persistent in trying to discuss my future plans, but after I offered no further details we seemed content to settle into quiet, often tense meals around the dinner table. Neither of us had been willing to be the first to speak.

The steady rain that pelted the truck as I left the house had now tapered off into a fine mist, and I switched off the wipers as I pulled into Jacob's driveway and cut the engine. A few lights were on in the small house and as I jumped out of the truck, I heard the front door open. Jacob stepped onto the front porch, watching me approach the house with an unfamiliar look of fear.

"Hey," I came over to the bottom of the steps, the concern apparent in my voice. "Are you-"

"What are you doing here?" he hissed, gently closing the door behind him.

I narrowed my eyes. "Billy called me, he said it was important…"

"Leave," Jacob shook his head. "Bella, please listen to me, just leave now."

I stared at him in disbelief. "What are you talking about, Jake?"

"You have no idea what kind of danger you're in," Jacob snarled, his voice frantic.

My pulse quickened, and I felt the panic begin to rise in my throat. "Jake, what is going on?"

"You shouldn't be here…" Jacob mumbled almost to himself, quickly glancing over his shoulder. "It's too dangerous…"

Suddenly there was a loud commotion from inside and I realized it was headed for the door. For an instant I thought about diving off the porch and making a run for it, but I knew whatever it was would catch up with me.

"It's too late," Jacob gave me one last look. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

I jumped as the front door was ripped open to reveal two tall slender women, both who looked surprisingly like Jacob. It took them a second to catch their breath.

"BELLA!" They both screamed in unison, shoving Jacob aside and thundering down the front stairs towards me.

Even if I had the mental capacity to run, I wouldn't get very far. I braced myself as the girls crashed into me, nearly knocking me to the ground, and two pairs of strong arms wrapped around my trembling frame.

"It is so good to see you! I can't believe how much you've grown up!"

"It seems like yesterday they were just kids-"

"What do you know about that! You weren't that much older than Bella back then!"

I stood frozen while the two women attempted to pull me in two different directions, all while arguing over how long the other had known me for. The one with the dark curly hair grabbed my left hand, her face softening.

"You gave her Mom's ring, Jake, that's so nice…" Her voice cracked a little as she glanced over her shoulder at Jacob, who had remained on the porch watching the whole scene.

Jacob smiled at my shocked expression. "Bella, these are my sisters, Rachel and Rebecca."

"Oh," I breathed.

"Bella, it's so nice to see you again," the one who held my left hand smiled warmly. "I'm Rebecca, Jacob's older sister."

"And I'm Rachel," the shorter one with her dark hair pulled back from her face spoke up. "Once Dad told us the good news, we just had to come out here to see you."

"Thank you… I…" I stammered.

"Can you at least let her get into the house?" Jacob spoke up from the porch. "I think you both traumatized her."

"She's fine, Jake!" Rebecca silenced him, taking my arm. "Seriously though, Bella… I'm sorry if we scared you. My sister can be loud sometimes-"

"Me!" Rachel protested, walking alongside us. "You're the one that pushed me out of the way to get to the door!"

The girls hustled me into the house, leaving no room for me to protest or even get a word into their conversation. Without leaving my side, they placed me on the couch and each took a seat next to me.

"Hello, Bella!" Billy called from the kitchen. "Sorry I didn't warn you about the girls."

"That's ok," I reassured him.

"Yeah, he didn't even tell me he called you about coming over," Jacob sat in a chair across from us. "I could have warned you too."

"Neither of you had to warn her!" Rachel argued. "We'll be good."

"Yeah, sure," Jacob teased.

"Quiet Jake," Rebecca shot him a look. "You know you miss having us around. Besides, Bella needs some girlfriends to help her with the wedding."

I suddenly felt all eyes on me. "Oh," I blushed. "I don't-"

"No need to thank us," Rebecca silenced me. "Weddings are a lot of work."

Rachel nodded next to me. "Which is why we got together everything we thought you would need."

I glanced in the direction of her stare and, to my growing horror, found stacks of wedding magazines piled in the kitchen.

"We also brought a couple dresses over that we thought might be your style," Rebecca added.

"And we've got some makeup to try out too!" Rachel chimed in.

I could feel my stomach start to churn.

"Thank you both, really, this is all so nice," I tried to find the right words. "But, Jake and I haven't even started planning any of this yet…"

I glanced over at Jacob, hoping I still had an ally. His expression revealed nothing.

"But, that's why we're here…" Rachel looked like her heart was breaking.

"And I flew all the way from Hawaii," Rebecca reminded me. "I don't know if I'll be able to come out to visit again before the wedding."

I sat in the now quiet room, surrounded by pleading eyes and heavy guilt. I caught Jacob's gaze as he gave me a slight shrug.

I sighed. "…Alright."

The girls squealed, their eagerness quickly restored. Just then, a knock sounded at the front door. Jacob jumped up from his seat and quickly crossed the room, too quickly in my opinion, and opened the door to reveal Quil and Embry.

"Hey Jake," Quil greeted him. "Sam needs us to-"

Embry elbowed him and Quil glanced past Jacob at his sisters and I.

"…Get fitted for our tuxes, right." Jacob finished for him, smiling innocently. "Thanks for reminding me."

"Awwww, how exciting!" Rachel squeezed my hand.

"Now?" I narrowed my eyes at Jacob, knowing he was up to something. "But Jake-"

"Bella, don't worry about them," Rebecca shrugged off my concern. "Besides, we want to spend time with just you!"

"Let's go," Embry pushed. "Sam's waiting."

"But, Jacob," I pouted, running out of ideas. "I can't make some of these decisions without you."

While Rebecca and Rachel reassured me that they could make all the tough choices for Jacob, I glared at him, daring him to continue. There was no way I was going to let him leave me behind. Even Billy had deserted me, making himself scarce at the very idea of makeup parties and yards of taffeta.

Jacob fidgeted under my gaze. "Trust me, Bella… You're in good hands with my sisters. Besides, I don't want to ruin your day of wedding planning." He winked at me.

I narrowed my eyes at him and set my jaw, shaking my head slowly.

"Don't worry Jake, you go out with your friends," Rachel urged. "We'll take care of Bella!"

I watched a thankful Jacob leave with the members of the pack, sending me one last glance over his shoulder. A mixed glance of pity and dread.

* * *

Hours later, I sprinted into the bathroom and slammed the door behind me. I placed my palm against the cold wood and took a deep breath. I could still hear the girls' cackling down the hall, but at least I could have some privacy for a few minutes. I leaned against the vanity, taking a look at myself in the mirror and groaned. I was covered in makeup. Foundation, eye liner, mascara, and every shade of eye shadow color imaginable. I quickly turning on the hot water and splashing some on my face. I could almost hear my pores cheering, and as I grabbed for the soap there was a knock on the door.

I jumped. "Be right out!"

"Bella?"

"Jake," I sighed in relief.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, just…" I looked down at the rainbow of colors in the sink. "I'll be right out!"

"Oh, come on," I could almost see the smirk on his face. "It can't be _that_ bad."

I threw open the door and glared at him, mascara leaving tracks down to my fixed jaw. Jacob stood in the doorway, a blank expression on his face.

"…Oh."

I rolled my eyes and grabbed his arm, dragging him into the cramped bathroom with me and slamming the door shut again. "We are never to talk about this again," I muttered as I resumed my facial.

"I'm sorry, Bells," Jacob stifled laughter. "I told you I should have warned you about my sisters."

"You left me," I mumbled into the sink.

"What? No I didn't…" Jacob argued.

"Tuxes, Jake!" I snapped. "We don't even have a wedding date yet, and you're getting measured for tuxes!"

"Shhh," Jacob stepped closer to me, lowering his voice. "We had to go on patrol. That's why Sam sent them over… And I didn't want my sisters to hear."

"Alright," I relented. "I'm still mad at you though."

"I know," I heard Jacob's muffled laughter behind me. "For putting up with my family all afternoon, I promise I'll make it up to you."

I scrubbed off as much of the makeup as I could with soap and water, grabbed the nearest towel and dried off my face. I sighed as I looked back into the mirror at the black circles under my eyes. "This is NEVER going to come off," I complained as I grabbed a tissue and tried to wipe the charcoal off my skin. Instead, I succeeded in smearing it down my cheeks.

Jacob laughed and ran part of the towel under cold water. He then put his hand under my chin and held my face still as he dabbed under my eyes. "It's ok Bella," he studied my face as he worked. "I like you better without all this makeup on. You don't need it."

"Thanks." I smiled sheepishly as he stepped back from me.

He rolled his eyes. "Come here, you still look like a can-can girl."

I watched him tenderly blot as much of the dark red lipstick as he could with the damp towel, then he gave up and instead used his finger. My heart rate increased as he slowly traced my lip line with his thumb, his breath on my face, the temperature in the room increasing.

"There," he whispered, smiling at me. "Could hardly find you under all that mess."

"Thanks," I blushed.

"Hold on," he held my face, a little smirk on his lips. "Missed a spot."

My heart stopped as he leaned close to me and placed his lips on the side of mine, the gentle kiss lasting only seconds. I placed my hand on his smoldering chest as he leaned back and winked at me.

"Got it."

I narrowed my eyes at his arrogant behavior and twisted his shirt material in a fist, pulling him towards me again. I had been used to being pushed away by now when I was this forward, but Jacob leaned his muscular body into me, forcing me up against the sink. I stretched up to meet his lips, and he instantly responded to my advances. As he kissed me, his hands traced shivers down my arms and my stomach. I gasped when he broke our kiss and hooked his grip behind my thighs, picking me up and setting me on the vanity top. His hands were back to my face as he entwined his fingers in my hair and pulled me towards him again, kissing me with more passion than I ever knew I could feel. His heart pounding against my palm, and he slowly placed his hand on top of mine, interlacing our fingers. We both jumped when there was a knock at the door.

"Bella?"

Jacob ripped his lips from mine. "What!" he snarled.

"Oh… Jake? Hurry up in there!" Rebecca snapped. I heard her footsteps down the hall as she rejoined Rachel in the living room.

Jacob tenderly kissed my forehead, his breathing hot on my skin. "Sorry," he whispered in a husky voice.

"It's ok," I traced his jaw line. "I think I had something to do with it too."

"You'd better get back out there," he pushed away from me reluctantly.

I stuck out my bottom lip. "Do I have to?"

He smirked, his hair tousled. "I'm pretty sure it's safer out here than in here right now," he leaned closer to me. "We already fogged up the mirror."

I sighed, not ready to give up that easily. "Jacob, it's not like you're going to rip this bathroom apart-"

"Oh Bells," he whispered gruffly, "you have no idea."

I wrapped my arms around his neck as he effortlessly took me off the vanity, then gently set me on the ground.

"My sisters aren't too bad," Jacob teased as he opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. "Are they?"

I glanced over at the now multi-colored hand towel. "No Jake," I smiled. "They're not too bad. I suppose it's better to have them here now so that I don't have to bother you about anything."

Jacob seemed perplexed. "Bother me about what?"

"Nothing," I dismissed the question and moved to step around him.

Jacob gently blocked my way with his arm. "Bother me with what, Bells?"

"I don't know…" I felt silly as I leaned against his arm. "Wedding stuff, I guess. Aren't guys not supposed to care about all that?"

"Why wouldn't I care?" Jacob protested. "It's only going to be the happiest day of my life… Marrying you."

My heart skipped a beat, and I could feel a broad smile spread across my face. I reached up and placed a soft kiss on Jacob's cheek. Without saying another word he stepped aside, allowing me to slip past him. I made my way back to the living room, and back to the pile of rainbow bridesmaid's dresses, with a renewed sense of exuberance.

* * *

The beginning of the work- week found me perched on a stool at the front desk, shuffling the grease-stained papers around in a futile attempt at organizing the stacks of scribbled notes about tire rotations and realignments. Dave stood behind me, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"I knew this place needed a woman's touch," he said to himself as he placed the new clean coffee pot back on the burner.

Ignoring his praise, I held a yellow receipt aloft. "What is this?"

Dave held the piece of paper steady and squinted at the scrawled lines that vaguely resembled letters. "Transmission replacement."

I placed that one in a folder, then held up another one. "And this?"

A few seconds ticked by.

"…New tires, new breaks."

I nodded, fishing out another receipt I couldn't decipher. "And this one?"

A few minutes went by. Eventually I glanced up to find Dave practically scratching his head.

"Aw hell, I can't even read that one." He crumpled up the old receipt ticket and tossed it in the waste can next to me. "Don't worry about it."

"Dave!" I groaned, completely flustered. "This isn't going to work! I need to set up some sort of computer system for you," I pointed out, surveying the amount of paperwork I still had to file.

"Don't worry about it Bella, you'll figure it out," Dave brushed of my concern as he took a jovial sip of his coffee. "I have complete faith in you."

Deciding to give up for now, I focused my attention back on what lay in front of me. I heard the shop's front door open, but didn't bother to look up.

"Morning, son. What can I help you with today?" Dave greeted the customer.

"…Hey, just an oil change, please."

I cringed as I stopped shuffling papers and griped the receipt I was holding, instantly recognizing the voice.

"Bella, do you mind writing up a slip for…" Dave mumbled next to me, oblivious to my discomfort. "What's your name?"

"It's Mike... Mike Newton."

"No problem," I groaned, and I felt my cheeks burn as I reached for the pad of job invoices.

"Thanks Mike, I'll get started on that for you," Dave added politely as he grabbed the car keys. "Bella will take care of you in the meantime."

"Thank you," Mike replied.

Silently cursing Dave, I stared a hole into the floor as the garage door opened next to me, then closed, leaving me alone to deal with the uncomfortable situation. I took a deep breath and forced myself to look up, finding Mike staring at me with way too much enthusiasm.

"Hey Bella," he grinned.

I forced a weak smile. "How are you doing, Mike?"

"I didn't know you were working here," he continued.

"Yeah, for a couple weeks now," I explained.

"I thought for sure you had left for college by now."

"No, I decided to stay," I shrugged. "And I needed a job, so here I am." I glanced down at the job order I had begun to write up, hoping Mike was through with his small talk.

"What about Cullen? You still with him?"

I could hear the contempt in Mike's voice and I continued to concentrate on what I was writing, desperately wanting to avoid the subject.

"Well, that didn't work out either," I explained, wishing I didn't have to go through this. "I decided to end things with him."

"Oh! T-That's a shame, I'm sorry to hear about that…"

Judging by the change of his tone, I knew he wasn't sorry.

"So, I guess you're still getting over things, right?"

While my mind was racing to come up with excuses, behind me I could hear the guys in the shop at work with multiple power tools, along with the radio at its usual unbearable volume. I silently hoped that any of them would know to come to my rescue, but I wasn't holding out much hope.

"No," I continued filling out paperwork, frantically realizing I was running out of boxes to write in. "I'm over it, I'm doing alright."

"So, would it be ok if I took you out sometime? Maybe say, this Friday night?"

I glanced up, grateful to have an answer to the question I knew he would ask. "Actually Mike, I can't. I'm sort of seeing someone."

Mike's face dropped. "Oh. You are?"

"Yes," I held my ground. "I'm engaged to Jacob Black."

"Jacob Black?" Mike scowled. "The tall kid from La Push?"

"That's him," I confirmed.

Mike stood silent in front of me, a defeated look across his face. He then glanced past me and I watched the color drain from his complexion, his eyes transfixed on something in front of him. I slowly turned and looked over my shoulder to find Jacob standing at the window of the shop, his stare fixed on Mike, a large wrench in his right hand.

"Bella," Mike stammered. "What time do you think the car will be done?"

I shrugged. "Shouldn't be longer than 20 minutes, why don't you have a seat?"

The door to the shop slowly opened next to me.

"No-No that's ok," Mike retreated faster towards the door. "I'm just going to grab a quick sandwich around the corner, I'll be back."

Jacob came to stand next to me as Mike bolted through the door and quickly disappeared around the corner.

"My hero," I sighed, glancing up at Jacob.

"Was he bothering you?" Jacob scowled, placing the menacing wrench on the desk.

"He's harmless," I brushed off his concern. "Jake, come on, I have enough issues trying to keep this place clean without you guys bringing the shop tools in here."

"Oops, sorry," Jacob lifted the metal wrench off the stack of papers, the jovial tone back in his voice. "Need any help?"

I held a receipt in front of his face. "Which customer was this?"

Jacob squinted. "Chris Martin. That was one of my jobs."

"And what did he come in for?"

"Yearly inspection. The car passed and I gave him new tags."

"Thank you."

Jacob watched me make a few notes on the crumpled receipt. "You'll get used to Dave's handwriting after a while," he reassured me.

"I hope so," I groaned. "This is taking twice as long because I can hardly read any of this," I waved a hand over the piles of loose paper.

"For what it's worth Bella, I think you're doing a great job," Jacob smiled warmly.

"Thanks Jake," I answered, not glancing up from my paperwork.

Jacob placed his hand on the doorknob to head back into the shop, then paused and turned towards me. "Hey, are you busy tonight?"

I looked up at him. "No. Why, did you want me to come over?"

"No, that's alright," Jacob shrugged. "Rebecca and Rachel are still around, I wouldn't want to put you through that again."

"They're your family, Jake," I reminded him. "I have to deal with them sometime, right?"

"Still…"

"Ok, well do you want to come over to my place then? I can cook for you and Charlie."

After watching Jacob stare at me for a few moments, I rolled my eyes.

"Ok, well… I'll at least cook for _you_, right?" I smiled shyly, but Jacob didn't seem to get the humor.

He paused. "Maybe, I'll call you later." He turned and opened the door to the shop.

"But Jake-" I began.

"Don't worry about it, Bella," he said as he disappeared into the garage. "We'll figure it out."

He closed the door behind him, ending the conversation and leaving me in silence save for the guitar solo blaring on the radio. Slightly perplexed, I shifted my focus back to my previous tasks, silently hoping that I wasn't losing touch with Jacob as well.

* * *

That night, I sat awkwardly at the kitchen table, trying not to squirm in the uncomfortable silence that lay in the kitchen once again. Charlie sat directly across from me, chewing loudly while we tried to avoid eachother's gazes. For a moment I hoped that Jacob would show up and rescue me, but he seemed to not have much to say to me this afternoon either.

Charlie glanced up from his food. "Aren't you eating?"

I shook my head. "No."

Charlie scowled. I knew he hated my one-word answers.

"Why?" he pushed.

I shrugged. "Waiting for Jacob."

"Oh." Charlie took another bite of chicken, seeming relieved to have gotten a few more words out of me. "You two have a date tonight?"

"Maybe." I answered, offering nothing else.

Charlie set his jaw, then wiped his mouth with his napkin. "Alright Bella," he sighed, dropping the napkin on the table as if announcing his surrender. "This can't continue."

"What can't continue?" I feigned innocence.

"This," Charlie waved his hand over the table. "I'm very concerned about you, but you don't seem to want to talk about it."

My stomach tightened, and I knew there was no escaping the discussion this time. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I'm not trying to harass you Bella, regardless of what you may think. And I don't expect you to have everything figured out right now," Charlie paused, taking a sip of his water. "But what are you actually planning on doing with your life? Do you have any ideas?"

"Dad…" I could tell by my tone that I was already starting to get defensive. "I got a job like you asked…"

"Bella, I'm glad that you got a job and that you're keeping busy… But do you really want to be working in a mechanic's garage the rest of your life?" Charlie shrugged.

I raised an eyebrow. "It's good enough for Jacob."

Charlie's face softened. "I-I know it's good enough for Jacob…" He seemed to choose his words carefully. "But… What about your plans to go to college?"

"What makes you think I want to go to college?" I argued. "I'm happy where I am."

"Well, that's what you were planning on doing before, isn't it? When you were with…"

Charlie trailed off, sensing something in the way my demeanor changed. He knew I was aware of what he was implying.

I shifted uncomfortably. "Plans change, Dad."

"Do they?" Charlie pushed. "So, this is what you want?"

I knitted my brow. "You mean marry Jacob? Yes Dad, this is what I want."

Charlie held up his hands in defense. "You know I'm thrilled that you and Jacob are getting married. You know that, Bella."

I nodded, waiting for his explanation.

"I just want the best for you, that's all," Charlie continued. "I'm just concerned that you're not looking at all the options available to you. You seemed excited to move out of the house and start school… Is that something that doesn't interest you anymore?"

"Dad, at the time that's what I wanted, yes," I forced myself to explain. "But I guess I'm just taking some time to re-evaluate what's important to me. I enjoy living here with you, and I don't mind continuing to do that while I make some extra money for the wedding. I'm also helping Jake with the house in the meantime… Other than that, I don't see what the big hurry is."

I finished my speech, content with how I had chosen to explain things. I watched Charlie mull over my words in silence as he stared at the plate in front of him. Eventually, he met my gaze again.

"So, you're getting married first…" Charlie summed up. "Then looking into college?"

My heart sunk. "I don't know, Dad…" I held up my hands, frustrated. "Can I work on one thing out at a time? Please?"

"I just want to make sure that you're thinking about your future…" Charlie insisted.

I could feel myself getting irritated and I took a deep breath. "I understand that, and I appreciate it. Can we just talk about something else?"

Charlie remained quiet as he studied my face, and he seemed to be choosing his words carefully. After a few moments he leaned closer to me, interlacing his fingers and placing his elbows on the table. "Look Bells," he began. "I understand what happened with Edward-"

"Dad, please!" I crossed my arms indignantly. "I don't want to talk about him anymore, he has nothing to do with this, ok?"

"I realize that, Bella," Charlie continued. "But at one point he was a major part of your life, and I'm afraid of what that's done to you."

I pushed back my chair, the sound loud in the small kitchen. "I can't talk about this right now…" I stood up, furious, and grabbed the empty plate from Charlie. Without another word I stormed over to the kitchen sink and threw the plate in, the delicate china shattering with the impact.

"Isabella Swan!" Charlie bellowed.

I froze where I stood, his harsh voice still hanging in the air. Even though I was furious, hot tears began to press against my eyes at the thought of my father being so angry with me. I slowly turned around to face him and was surprised to find Charlie looking at me with not rage, but apprehension in his eyes.

"Bella…" he said softly. "What have I done to upset you like this?"

I bit my lower lip in an attempt to stop the tears. I tried to form words, but I couldn't swallow the lump in my throat.

Charlie slowly stood up from his chair but remained standing where he was, almost like he was afraid to come near me. "I'm sorry that I brought up Edward, I know I shouldn't have done that. You don't have to worry about him anymore."

I nodded, wishing those words to be true.

"I'm just concerned about you, Bella. I'm your Dad, it's my job," Charlie took a tentative step closer. "But you're right. You're an adult now. You can make your own decisions, and I need to respect that. I'm sorry, Bells."

My heart broke, and I could no longer hold in my tears. Once Charlie saw me start to cry, he closed the distance between us and pulled me into a tight hug as I sniffed against his chest.

"Bells, you know I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't get after you from time to time," he said above me, and I could hear the smile on his face.

"I know," I mumbled into his shirt.

"But I'll back off, I promise," he continued.

"Ok, Dad."

He kissed the top of my head, then held me at arm's length. "Are we ok?"

"Yes, Dad." I smiled as the tears began to dry on my face. "But I understand where you're coming from too. I just want you to know, I'm still figuring things out… When I do, I'll let you know."

"Deal." Charlie squeezed my shoulders, then turned and picked up our glasses from the table. "Why don't you get yourself cleaned up, Bella. I'll take care of this." He deposited the dishes next to the broken plate in the sink, then started the water.

I shifted uneasily. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Hey, didn't you have plans with Jake tonight?" Charlie asked.

"I don't know," I wondered, mindlessly rubbing my still-damp eyes. "I thought so, but he's been acting distant recently."

"How so?"

Just as I began to gather my thoughts to answer the same question that had been wrecking my mind, a hesitant knock sounded at the door. I glanced over my shoulder then narrowed my eyes at Charlie, who shrugged innocently. Quickly wiping my tear-streaked face, I crossed the kitchen and opened the door. Jacob stood on the front step, wearing a dark suit and a reserved smirk.

I took the scene in for a few moments. "…Who's dead?"

Jacob's face dropped, and he seemed offended. "Bella, seriously?"

"What? Well, what are you doing here all dressed up then?"

"I…" Jacob seemed to shift nervously in front of me. "I'm here to take you out."

"…Take me out? Where?"

"On a date, Bella."

Before I could stop myself, I grimaced. "A _date_?"

Jacob shook his head at me. "That was my exact reaction."

"I-I'm sorry," I dismissed my rude behavior. "I mean, you're serious? A date?"

Jacob nodded slowly.

"With dinner, and drinks, and chivalry?" I forced a smile.

"So I'm told."

"Hey Jacob!" Charlie called from behind me. "Nice suit. Where's the funeral?"

I held back my laughter as Jacob sighed.

"Actually, Charlie… I'm here to take Bella out to dinner."

"Really!" Charlie exclaimed, sounding as perplexed as I was.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed Jacob's arm. "Come on in, I have to find something to wear. This may take a while."

Jacob leaned closer to me as he stepped into the doorway. "It was my sisters' idea, I had no control over this."

"Why am I not surprised?" I mumbled as we made our way into the kitchen.

I left Jacob downstairs with Charlie as I frantically rummaged through my closet. Thanks to my current mechanical job, my selection of appropriate date clothes was particularly sparse. After listening to their muffled laughter from downstairs for quite some time, I reappeared in a presentable blouse and knee-length skirt. Jacob admired me for a few moments, then rose from the table and came to stand in front of me.

"These are for you," he awkwardly held out a bouquet of flowers.

"Oh, thanks."

I took the flowers from him and made my way to the cabinets to find a vase, silently hoping that the rest of the evening would go more smoothly. I suddenly found myself to be nervous around Jacob… But we were engaged, what was so difficult about one date?

"So where are you kids headed?" Charlie's voice cut through the thick silence.

"Oh, um just a little quiet place…" Jacob fidgeted. "…Le Pichet."

I nearly dropped the vase out of my hands as I spun around to face Jacob, my eyes wide with horror.

"Wow…" Charlie mused. "Le Pichet, very fancy."

"Yeah," Jacob raised his eyebrows.

Charlie glanced over at me. "Better watch out that this one doesn't break anything during dinner, they'll make you guys do the dishes."

"Dad!" I growled at him through clenched teeth.

"Don't worry," Jacob chuckled as he retrieved my jacket and held it up for me. "I'll take care of her."

I placed the vase on the center of the kitchen table and allowed Jacob to help me put on my coat, knowing full well that Charlie was watching us in acute fascination.

"You kids have fun," Charlie called after us as we headed for the door.

"Thanks," I quickly turned around and shot him a warning look. "Don't wait up for us."

Charlie waved goodbye from the kitchen, an amused grin spread across his face. As I turned to follow Jacob, I nearly crashed into him as he held the front door open for me. Embarrassed, I brushed past him and made my way toward the Rabbit, hoping that with every step my knees would stop shaking.

* * *

Seated at a table-for-two in the low-lit romantic atmosphere, I seemed content to hide behind my tall menu. French music was playing in the quaint bistro of Le Pichet, and we were surrounded by other couples and their low chatter over after-dinner espressos. Having perused the bilingual menu multiple times, I peeked across the table again to find Jacob fidgeting with his tie, his hands shaking.

"You look fine," I winked at him.

Jacob seemed to relax a little as he put down his menu and reached for my hand. "Thank you. And have I told you that you look beautiful tonight?"

"You might have mentioned it," I blushed. "Jake, this is quite a place."

"Yes it is," he raised an eyebrow. "I just hope the food is good."

I squeezed his hand. "You didn't have to bring me here. You know that, right?"

Jacob's face fell a little. "Do you want to leave?"

"No, no that's not what I'm saying," I smiled. "It's just… If you're not comfortable, we don't have to stay."

"Bella, I wanted to take you on a date," Jacob insisted. "And you deserve the best."

"I'm flattered, Jake… But you know I would have been just as happy at a BBQ in our backyard with the pack, right?"

Jacob shook his head. "I don't want them hanging around us all the time. I wanted tonight to be just me and you," he leaned closer to me. "I'm trying to impress you here, Bella."

I smiled. "You don't have to worry about that, Jake."

Our waiter suddenly reappeared again and took out a notepad and a pen. "Très bien, are we ready to order?"

I nodded sheepishly, letting go of Jacob's hand.

"What's this?" Jacob pointed to the menu.

"Ahh, the gateau aux foies de volailles?" the waiter snuffed in perfect French.

"Yes," Jacob winced.

"Chicken liver, monsieur."

Jacob's face paled and I feared he would faint.

"W-We'll both have the pork," I spoke up quickly.

"Ahh, the pâté albigeois, madame?"

"Yes, please," I smiled politely, watching the color return to Jacob's face.

"Ahh, bon. Merci."

I waited while our server gathered our menus, then left us alone once more. "Are you alright?" I whispered.

"I'm fine," Jacob smiled reassuringly at me.

Another waiter stopped at our table with a decanter filled with a dark liquid. "Would the monsieur or madame care for a glass of the house wine?"

"Yes! Please…" Jacob nearly jumped out of his seat, picking up the wine glass that sat at his place on the table.

"Jake!" I hissed.

Jacob met my gaze, then he glanced up at the waiter. "Just water for us, thank you."

The perplexed server disappeared as I shook my head. "What is wrong with you?"

"I'm sorry, Bella," Jacob put down the wine glass and started pulling at his tie again. "This place is just so fancy, I'm not used to it."

I leaned closer to him. "Do you want to leave? Seriously, I don't mind…"

"No," he protested. "This is our night together, and I want it to be perfect."

I smiled as he took my hand again. "So what gave you the idea to bring me here?" I asked.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Rebecca and Rachel. They said it was about time that I take you on a real date."

"Apparently they don't consider going out to the movies, fixing up motorcycles, or battles with vampires to be very good dates," I teased.

"No, they don't," Jacob chuckled while glancing around. "This restaurant was their idea."

"Well, it's something different," I offered. "At I get to see you dressed up in a nice suit."

Jacob squeezed my hand playfully.

"So…" I began, choosing my words carefully. "Does this have anything to do with you being quiet at work today?"

"What do you mean?" Jacob asked.

"When you asked me if I was doing anything tonight and I said I wanted to make plans with you, you seemed distant," I reminded him. "But you had this planned already, right?"

Jacob grinned. "I was trying to keep this a surprise."

"It worked," I praised him. "You did a good job."

Our waiter suddenly reappeared and placed two small dishes in front of both of us which contained, I could only guess, what would be our meals. A single cut of meat had been placed on a small bed of greens. A cut of meat so small that it seemed to get lost on the massive plates. Before we could protest, our waiter turned on his heels and left us again.

Jacob glanced up at me in horror. "This is _it_?"

I shrugged politely.

"I'm going to _starve_," Jacob protested through his teeth.

The look of disgust on Jacob's face and the sight of our minuscule dinners was too much for me to handle. I bit my lower lip, but I knew I couldn't stop myself. In the middle of the up-scale restaurant, surrounded by the other patrons and stuck-up wait staff, I burst into hysterical laughter. Glances of irritation were cast in my direction, which only made me cackle louder. Jacob's shocked expression slowly disappeared, and soon he was laughing with me.

"We look really out of place, don't we?" Jacob pointed out, his face bright red.

I nodded while I held my napkin over my mouth, trying to drown out the sound of my giggles.

Jacob glanced around the restaurant, then leaned closer to me and I was grateful to see the look of defeat in his eyes. "Do you want to get out of here?" he whispered.

I dropped the napkin on the table. "Absolutely."

* * *

I sighed in contentment as Jacob placed a tray in front of me on the weathered picnic bench piled high with greasy french fries and cheeseburgers. He took a seat across from me while loosening his tie, and we both smiled at eachother contently over our stacks of fried food.

"This is exactly what I needed," I beamed.

"Me too," Jacob agreed, wasting no time in devouring the first of six cheeseburgers.

As I glanced around at the other patrons of Sully's Drive-In, most clad in casual t-shirts and jeans, I realized this was where we belonged. Even though Jacob and I were still dressed up, no one seemed to pay us any attention. Again I felt the familiar sense of ease around Jacob, and as he glanced up at me and winked, I could tell he felt the same.

"So," Jacob mumbled through a mouthful of fries. "Good date?"

I smiled and nodded. "The best."

"We should do this more often," Jacob suggested, taking another bite of his cheeseburger.

"I agree, although-" I winced as a blob of ketchup landed on Jacob's button-down shirt. "We probably shouldn't get dressed up next time."

Jacob's shoulders slumped. "You can't take me anywhere," he complained as he grabbed a napkin to dab at the mess.

I nodded. "You're a slob, but I wouldn't have it any other way."

Jacob grinned at me, quickly giving up on the growing stain and focusing once again on the food in front of us. "What were you and Charlie talking about before I came over?"

I paused. "Did you hear anything?"

"No," Jacob answered innocently. "I just thought you looked upset when you opened the door. I though you might have been crying."

I put down my cheeseburger and picked up a couple fries. Jacob could read me better than anyone, and I figured there was no point in keeping anything from him.

"We just talked about the future," I began. "Future plans. Like the wedding, and maybe college."

Jacob studied my face as he took a sip of soda.

"He's been after me for a couple of weeks about it, just wanting to have father-daughter talks, or so he calls it," I continued.

"So what made you upset?" Jacob pushed.

I sighed. "Charlie just has a way of saying things. Like, he said that he doesn't want me working at the garage with you for the rest of my life."

"I don't want you to work there for the rest of your life either," Jacob added.

My face dropped. "Jake…"

"Believe me Bella, I don't mind seeing you every day," Jacob explained. "But that place isn't for you. I figured you would eventually go to college and, I don't know… Maybe do something like become a teacher."

"A teacher?" I smiled. "What made you think I would want to be a teacher?"

"I don't know," Jacob shrugged. "I could just see you with a classroom full of kids I guess, it was just an idea."

I nodded slowly, taking another sip of soda. "Hmm, I never really thought about it…"

Jacob picked up another cheeseburger. "Well, the idea is to do something that makes you happy, Bella. Do you want to be a teacher?"

I wrinkled my nose. "I don't know, Jake…"

"Then what do you want to do?" he pressed. "Working with cars is what I like to do, so what do you like to do? What is it that makes you happy?" Taking a huge bite out of his burger, Jacob seemed content to wait patiently for my answer.

I mulled over his question for a few minutes. "I guess I haven't really taken the time to figure that part out."

"Well then until you figure it out," Jacob picked up a french fry and held it up for me, "let's not worry about it. Deal?"

"Deal." I leaned forward and stole a bite of the fry.

"And in the meantime," Jacob continued, "how about for our next date, you come over to the house and I'll cook for you. That way, I can be as much of a slob as I want, no embarrassment to you."

I grinned. "Sounds good to me."

"How about this Saturday night?"

I froze at the question and I quickly reached for my soda, taking a long sip and avoiding his gaze. This Saturday night was Rosalie's wedding, and I knew if I told Jacob what my plans were, he would talk me out of it. Even though I remembered the event was drawing closer, I had no back-up plan in mind. No excuse lined up in case Jacob asked. And now he continued to sit across from me, waiting for an answer.

I set my soda down and made a puzzled face like I had forgotten something, hoping I would believe the words I was about to say. "This Saturday? Oh, I think I have plans…"

Jacob looked just as puzzled. "Oh, alright. With who?"

'_With who? Of course he would ask who I have plans with… Say something!'_

I blurted out the first name that came to mind. "A-Angela," I stammered.

"Oh, ok," Jacob mumbled through another bite of cheeseburger. "What are you two doing?"

I swallowed nervously, not knowing if he could tell I was lying, or just making polite conversation. "You know…"

"I thought you avoided wedding stuff as much as possible," Jacob pointed out.

I raised an eyebrow. "That's going to be the happiest day of my life too, right? And I thought you told me to do what makes me happy, Jacob Black."

Jacob blushed. "Ok, you got me there."

I watched him return to devouring another cheeseburger as I leaned back on the old wooden bench, my appetite suddenly gone. I felt the guilt weigh heavily on my shoulders as my trusting fiancée sat across from me, unaware of the lie I had seemingly managed to get away with. I silently cursed myself for the stubborn nature that continued to draw me toward the Cullens… But there were too many unanswered questions. Questions that I wasn't sure I wanted answers to, or even deserved, but my curiosity had gotten the better of me. Our perfect evening ended soon afterward… With Jacob seeming as if he didn't have a care in the world, and me envious of his delusion.

* * *

_Major kudos/shout-out to Water-Chick-1214 for the idea of Bella & Jacob chancing a "normal" night out on a date. That was a fun scene to write!_

_More to come! I missed you guys!_


	13. Rebellion

Yes, it's really me. Back from the dead... And I realized I haven't updated since 2010 :O I'm so sorry, everyone. I have not forgotten about you, or this story... And I have every intention of finishing it. I hope hope *hope* this chapter is worth the wait, and you guys can forgive me...

...Peese? :::Pouty face, holds out plate::: I made cookies... :D

* * *

**13. REBELLION**

Completely aggravated, I forcefully pushed everything aside in my closet and began to go through my wardrobe again, even though I knew my search to be in vain. With every oil-stained t-shirt and ripped pair of jeans I passed, my hopes began to fade again. As the late afternoon crept towards the early evening of Rosalie and Emmett's wedding, my nerves had only intensified by the hour. I knew the risks. I knew the danger I was willingly placing myself in. I had even picked up the phone a dozen times to call Alice and conjure up a fake illness, but I always ended up placing the phone back on its receiver. It was no use lying to Alice anyway. I also couldn't deny the overwhelming need I felt to be there. I had so many unanswered questions; questions that I wasn't sure I even wanted to hear the answer to. I didn't expect to receive clarification on everything, but the idea of going back to the source of my anxiety left me with a sense of relief. Even if a few of my questions were answered, I hoped I could finally put my disease to rest.

Suddenly, I remembered the bridesmaid dress from Emily and Sam's wedding that I had been smart enough to have cleaned. With a sigh of relief I pulled the cream knee-length lace dress from its plastic bag and zippered it around my body once more, grateful for the simple and elegant choice Emily had made for us. Since the reception was going to be outside, I slipped on a thin sweater over my shoulders and straightened the crimson satin bow across my chest. I kicked aside the shoes at the bottom of my closet, searching for my one elusive pair of heels. I groaned as I remembered that I had brought them over to Jacob's. Slipping into a pair of old ratty sneakers for the time being, I contemplated running to Jacob's to retrieve my heels. I glanced over at the clock and I had time to spare, but I wasn't sure if I'd be able to get past Jacob. I decided I really didn't have a choice. I quick looked at the clock again.

Ten minutes! How did ten minutes go by already!

I grabbed a small bag along with the invitation and headed downstairs. Everything was quiet in the kitchen since Charlie had headed over to Billy's to watch the game, but I knew I needed to get out of the house before he came back. As I glanced around for anything I could have forgotten, I touched my fingers to my neck and realized I wasn't wearing a necklace. I hurried upstairs and grabbed the first piece of jewelry I could find: a strand of pearls. I was halfway down the stairs when I heard the front door unlock, and I froze in my tracks.

"Bells!" Charlie's voice rang through the house as he closed the door behind him.

I cringed as I heard him open the refrigerator, no doubt searching for a beer and wondering what I would be cooking for dinner. I pondered my situation as I heard him rummage around the kitchen.

"Bella! You home!"

There was no escape. I was completely dressed up with my hair and makeup done, a sight that Charlie rarely saw. And not only was my truck still sitting in front of the house, but I still had my purse and the invitation sitting on the kitchen table.

Instantly my blood ran cold. The invitation.

I bolted down the remaining stairs and came to a halt in the kitchen, staring at Charlie who held the delicate piece of paper in his hand. He slowly looked up at me, realizing my plans once he saw what I was wearing.

"Bella," he whispered, attempting to remain calm. He held up the invitation. "What is this?"

There was no getting around it. There was no reason for me to lie. "Rosalie and Emmett are getting married tonight at the Cullen's home," I explained in a flat tone. "She invited me and I told her I would be there."

I watched Charlie process what I had said, but he remained silent.

"You have no reason to worry about me, Dad."

"No reason to worry?" Charlie blinked. "Bella, you're seriously asking me to allow you to go to a house filled with vampires?"

I winced, silently wishing I hadn't gushed to Charlie about the Cullens in my moment of weakness.

"How long have you kept this from me?" Charlie's voice deepened, the invitation shaking in his hand.

"A few weeks," I answered meekly.

"And you saw no reason to tell me about this?" Charlie's face began to turn red. "You were just planning on sneaking out?"

"Dad, I know it's difficult to understand, but please trust me," I slowly shook my head. "They won't hurt me."

Charlie took a deep breath. "I know you have a history with them Bella," he crossed his arms over his chest. "But that was a while ago. How do you know they won't hurt you now?"

I shifted my gaze from his face to the kitchen floor. I couldn't bring myself to answer a question that was still haunting my own thoughts.

"Is Edward going to be there?"

I met Charlie's gaze again. "No. No, I don't think Edward will be there."

He knit his brow. "I find that hard to believe."

"He doesn't live at the house anymore," I explained, remembering back to my visit with Alice.

"Still, it's his sister's wedding," Charlie pointed out. "And he hasn't seen you since…"

Charlie's voice trailed off, and I knew what he was hinting at. The last time I had seen Edward wasn't in my driveway though, and I thought about our tense encounter on the road.

"Don't worry, Dad," I shivered. "I have a feeling he wouldn't be interested in seeing me anyway."

Charlie pondered my answer for a few minutes. "I don't know about this, Bella. I really don't feel comfortable knowing you're going over there alone."

"I won't be alone, Alice will be there," I reminded him. "You know she would never let anything happen to me."

"Bella, that doesn't make me feel much better…"

"And Esme, and Carlisle, and Jasper," I continued. "They've always kept me safe."

"I still don't think this is a good idea…"

"And Jake will be there, of course." The lie escaped my lips before I could stop it.

Charlie wrinkled his brow as he studied my face. "Jacob is seriously willing to go with you to the wedding? He agreed to this?"

"Yes, Dad." I did my best not to fidget, knowing I couldn't back down now. "He wanted to make sure I was safe too."

I watched Charlie mull over this new information, and soon he slowly began to nod. "Well, as long as Jake is going to be with you…"

I took that as my cue. "I'll call you when I'm on my way home, alright?" Quickly, I crossed the kitchen and reached up to kiss his cheek.

"Hold it, Bella."

I froze in place and slowly turned around. "Yes, Dad?"

"You're wearing those?" Charlie raised an amused eyebrow and glanced down at my feet.

I looked down at my worn sneakers. "No, I left my shoes at Jacob's."

"Oh, alright."

"So I'm meeting Jake at the house, I'll change my shoes there, we'll make an appearance at the wedding, and I'll be home before you can worry, alright?" The lie was becoming easier as I rambled.

Charlie reached for the beer he had placed on the kitchen table, and he studied me intently as he twisted the cap off and took a sip. "Even with Jake going with you, I still don't feel right about this, Bella."

I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.

"But you're growing up, I have to understand that too. You can't stay a little girl forever, and I have to let you go sometime…"

I remained silent as I watched Charlie argue with himself.

"If you feel that you'll be safe, then I have to trust your judgment."

I silently hoped that my judgment wouldn't be the downfall for both of us.

"Just do me a favor," Charlie crossed his arms over his chest again. "Call me when you're leaving the wedding, just so I know you're safe."

"Ok, Dad," I relented. "I will."

"Just because I have to realize you're growing up doesn't mean that I have to like it," Charlie forced a weak smile. "Just let me know you're alright."

"I will, Dad."

"Be careful, Bells," Charlie nodded in acceptance. "And have a good time."

"Thanks, Dad." I gave him a warm smile as I turned to leave, knowing that I was officially running late. I quickened my steps as I made my way out the door. Jacob was hopefully at Billy's, or out with the pack. If I was lucky, I could sneak in and grab my heels without another confrontation.

* * *

I parked my truck on the front lawn, sighing with relief when I realized the house lay dark. Nothing stirred inside. Thankfully, Jacob was out somewhere. I made my way into the bedroom and found my short heels that I had left in the spacious closet. I had just traded my dirty sneakers for the delicate heels when I heard the front door open and slam shut violently, causing me to jump.

"Bella!" Jacob yelled from the kitchen.

Shit.

"Yeah, back here!" I cringed. I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was angry, and I knew once he saw my dress, there was no escaping his questions. I turned to face him as he appeared in the doorway, his fists already clutched in anger.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" he growled.

I crossed my arms. "How did you know I was here?"

"Your father called, Bella! He wanted to let you know that you left the wedding invitation at your house, and did we need to get in!"

I bit my lower lip.

"Wedding invitation, Bella? A wedding invitation to the Cullen's house!" Jacob's hands shook. "A wedding that I am supposed to be going to, but for some reason I have no recollection of you telling me about!"

I felt my cheeks grow hot. So Charlie had ratted me out after I left. No doubt Billy wasted no time in contacting Jacob who now stood in front of me, furious. I narrowed my eyes at him, attempting to match his glare. "I can take care of myself, Jake."

"Don't kid yourself, Bella. You're not going, there is no way I'm allowing this."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Don't waste your time trying to be my father, Jake. I already have one."

"Who I cannot believe is letting you go!"

I rolled my eyes and crossed the room. "At least someone trusts me to make my own decisions." I brushed past him and crossed the hallway to the bathroom, switching on the light. "Although I'm a little pissed that he felt it necessary to call you to check up on me."

Jacob came to stand in the doorway of the bathroom. "That's because he cares about you, as do I," he snarled. "Tell me the truth, Bella. Were you even planning on telling me where you were going tonight?"

I remained silent as I applied a thin layer of lipstick, gathering my thoughts. I looked up at his reflection. "No, I wasn't. Because I knew you would get hysterical for no reason."

"I have good reason for my concern, Bella," he set his jaw.

"Concern?" I raised an eyebrow. "Or control?"

"Is that what you think this is about?" Jacob snarled, gripping the frame of the door in anger. "You can't deny that you haven't made the smartest decisions in the past, Bella. Ones that have nearly gotten you killed."

I chose to remain silent, neither confirming nor denying his statement. As childish as it seemed, I wanted to be taken seriously and given my own space.

Jacob slowly shook his head. "If Charlie knew what you were walking into-"

"He does know, Jake," I snapped, glaring at him in the mirror. "He knows everything. I told him, remember?"

"He does not know everything," Jacob's form took up the entire door frame, blocking my escape. "And if he did, there is no way you would be here right now. If he knew just what the Cullens were capable of…" He cut himself off, clenching his teeth.

"Calm down Jake," my tone of voice warned him. "I'm not in any danger, they won't hurt me."

"How the hell do you know that?" he snarled. "There's going to be more of them there, vampires that you've never even met! It's not just the Cullens, Bella."

"I know," I nervously ran a hand through my hair and stole one last look at myself in the mirror. I turned to Jacob who was clutching the wall next to me, his hand trembling. "Please stop worrying. I'll be home before you can even miss me." I leaned forward and reached out my arms towards him.

"Bella, you are absolutely infuriating," Jacob clutched my hands in his aggressively. "Do you realize what you're asking me to do! I cannot let you go over there by yourself, it's out of the question! You are not going!"

I wrenched my hands from his. "You're being a little possessive, don't you think?" I glared as I stepped around him and made my way down the hall towards the kitchen. I could hear Jacob's heavy footsteps behind me. I hated myself for making him so upset, but the more he insisted on controlling me, the greater my desire was to leave.

"Bella, listen to me..." Jacob's voice was pleading.

I slowly turned around to find him blocking the front door with his massive form. He took a few deep breaths, attempting to compose himself.

"I have to keep you safe, I need to know that you're alright. If something was to happen to you, and I hadn't done everything I could to keep you from being hurt…"

"Jacob please, I'll be fine. You're just overreacting," I shook my head, trying to keep my voice calm. "And I have my cell phone. You can call and check on me if you'd like."

"Bella, I swear..."

I could tell my suggestion did little to calm his nerves because Jacob's hands began shaking again.

"Don't do this, Bella. If you leave to go over there…"

"I won't be long," I grabbed my keys from the countertop behind me. I went to brush past him, but he threw an arm across my path and stopped me in my tracks. I rolled my eyes and sighed, glaring up at him.

Jacob set his jaw, gripping the door frame even harder. "You're right, you won't be long. Because you are not going."

I bristled. "Who the hell do you think you are? Edward?"

I regretted the words the second they escaped my lips. There was a cracking sound as the wood splintered in Jacob's hand and I recoiled from him as he ripped off a section of the wall, throwing it across the kitchen. His entire body shook with rage, and as his blazing eyes pierced me I instantly thought of Emily. I stood my ground in fear, watching as Jacob took a few deep breaths trying to calm himself. Suddenly he pivoted and bolted through the kitchen door, nearly shattering that as well. He was a couple steps across the yard when his form shifted, and the last I saw of him was a russet brown tail disappearing into the woods.

I stood in the ear-splitting silence of the kitchen, suddenly realizing that I was breathing hard. Tiny pieces of wood were scattered around the kitchen and I glanced over at the hole in the wall, the recent victim of Jacob's anger. Shivering a little from the realization of his strength, I walked to the kitchen door and peeked outside. I couldn't help smiling to myself when I saw pieces of Jacob's sweatpants littered across the lawn. Feeling guilty, I retrieved his last pair of sweatpants from the bedroom and gathered my things again. As I headed towards my truck, I was about to drop the pants off on the Rabbit when a gust of wind nearly knocked me off my feet. Jacob leapt out of the surrounding forest blocked my path to my truck with his massive form. His lips were pulled over his teeth in a menacing snarl.

"What?" I held my ground. "I'm still going, you can stay here and throw all the temper-tantrums you want."

I went to step around him but he quickly intersected me, his eyes daring me any closer. A low growl began in his throat.

"Look, I'm sorry I called you… Edward."

The growl increased in intensity.

"But, seriously." I shrugged. "You're being a tad hypocritical."

Jacob's growl turned into a couple barks, clearly in disagreement with me. He then sat back on his haunches with a look of resentment in his eyes.

"I like you in wolf form," I began to make a path around him, mockingly. "You can only argue with me in growls and barks, it's easier to ignore."

Jacob flattened his ears, his eyes watching my every move.

"I think I'll take your last pair of pants with me," I teased, "just because you're being so indignant."

When I was halfway past him, he lunged forward and swiftly seized the sweatpants with his teeth.

"No!" I dropped everything else that was in my hands and grabbed hold of one of the legs of the pants, glaring at Jacob who had a firm grip on the waistband. He tugged gently at his end, daring me to continue in this impossible tug-of-war game. I tugged back with more force, knowing in the back of my mind I didn't have a chance.

Jacob narrowed his black eyes and the growl began in his throat again. He tightened his grip on his end and began to slowly back up, dragging me across the lawn. I tried to plant my heels into any solid earth, but I was no match for his strength. After he'd succeeded in dragging me a couple yards, I could tell he was smiling to himself at my pathetic attempts, and just as I thought I'd have to accept defeat my foot found a rock.

I planted my weight and yanked on the pants as hard as I could. All I heard was a ripping sound, and surprise hit me as I tumbled to the ground and landed on my back. I looked down to find half the shredded material still in my hands. A little dazed, I glanced up at Jacob and found the other half of his sweatpants still dangling from his mouth, a look of shock across his face. I instantly broke out in hysterical laughter, clutching my stomach as I lay on the ground in convulsions. Jacob flattened his ears, clearly not amused, and dropped what was left of the useless pants. I slowly sat up and got to my feet, trying to catch my breath.

"See, that's what happens," I gasped, wiping tears from my eyes, "when you act like that. You can't have your way all the time, Jake."

I turned and started back to my truck, looking for my car keys I had thrown during the impromptu tug-of-war game. "Any other tactics you want to attempt to distract me with?" I casually called over my shoulder. I stopped when I saw the smirk on Jacob's face as he looked down at the torn pants, then back at me.

My stomach dropped.

"No," I shook my head furiously. "Don't you even…" I slowly backed up as he advanced toward me. I shrieked as his wolf form blurred and I quick put my hands over my eyes. After I didn't hear anything for a few seconds, I cautiously peeked through my fingers.

"Bella…"

I jumped as his lush voice was right next to my ear, and I could feel my heart pound in my chest. "I cannot believe you did this."

I heard him chuckle. "It's working though. You're not leaving."

"If I only knew where my keys were," I turned in a circle where I stood. I heard something jingle next to me.

"You mean these keys?" Jacob mused innocently. "Why don't you come get them?"

I sighed heavily, feeling the blush on my cheeks burning into my hands. I slowly turned towards the sound of his voice and removed the two top fingers from my vision. I bit my lip as Jacob stood in front of me playing with my keys, an evil grin across his reddened face. I could only see from his waist up, but I dared not remove another finger.

"Well?" He dangled my keys, mocking me.

I carefully removed one hand from my face and held it out, strategically using my right hand to cover my line of sight.

Jacob casually strolled up to me, never taking his eyes off mine. To my surprise, he placed the keys in my hand and rolled my fingers around them. He positioned his other hand under my chin and tilted my face up to his so that I wouldn't need my hand over my face anymore.

"You're right, Bells," his voice was soft, and calm.

"About what?" I tried to keep mine from trembling.

"You're not a little girl anymore, and you're able to make your own choices. I need to be respectful of that," he slowly stroked my cheek with his finger.

"Thank you," I whispered, still not taking my eyes off his.

"Just be careful, alright?" he whispered, and I could tell it was difficult for him to let me leave. "Even though this is your choice, I still don't agree with it."

"I know."

"But I hope you realize that the pack will be watching the whole time."

I opened my mouth to protest, but Jacob spoke up first.

"No arguments. Either they keep an eye on you, or I can't allow you to go. You can't ask that of me, Bella."

I relented and nodded against his hand, deciding that seemed a fair trade. Plus I couldn't deny that the thought of the pack being close by helped to ease my anxiety.

"And I'm sorry," Jacob's tough facade softened, "if I scared you when I changed. I just… I need to stay away from you when I know I can't control my anger. I never want you to get in the way of something like that. Ever."

I could tell the pain that flashed in his eyes was genuine, and I also knew who he was referring to.

"I know. I'm just not sure which change was more frightening," I smirked at him.

The blush on Jacob's cheeks darkened. "Just be careful, please," he pleaded with me. "If anything was to ever happen to you-"

"I'll be fine," I reached up on my tip-toes and kissed him gently. "Promise."

* * *

My hands were shaking as I cut the engine and sat in the cab of the truck, trying to catch my breath. The familiar house sat in front of me once again, a warm glow surrounding it from the thousands of candles illuminating the surrounding woods. Figures danced in-between the trees, their faces as pale as the winter moon, giving the illusion of hundreds of ghosts haunting the grounds. I shivered and pulled my sweater tighter across my shoulders. I didn't belong here, I knew that. I was a mortal among the undead, Charlie and Jacob were right to be concerned. I either didn't have enough concern for my own wellbeing, or enough sense… But it was my curiosity that inevitably led me to turn the handle and step out of the truck.

I cautiously made my way through the dense crowd, aware that hazel and crimson eyes watched my every move. Trying to blend in as best I could, I glanced around the expansive yard in search for anyone I knew. In my futile attempts to slow my rapidly beating heat, I caught a familiar face across the crowd.

Jasper's calm expression made me pause in my tracks and he smiled shyly at me, inclining his head. Instantly I understood his actions, and a warm smile pulled across my face.

"Thank you," I mouthed to him.

He nodded, tilting the glass of champagne in his hand.

"Bella!"

I turned at the sound of the familiar voice and was nearly knocked over backwards as Alice pounced on me.

"I'm so glad you came!" She hugged me tightly, causing most of the other guests in our general vicinity to watch our embrace, intrigue in their gazes. She let me go and held my hands in hers. "I was so afraid you would change your mind and leave me here all by myself," she rolled her eyes.

"By yourself?" I knitted my brow.

Alice glanced over her shoulder with a grin, then leaned closer to me and dropped her voice. "These are mostly Rosalie and Esme's acquaintances. I have no interest in them."

I nodded sympathetically. "That's what I was actually worried about, who else would be here. Well, more like Jacob and Charlie were worried."

"Did you forget about Jasper?" she pointed out, glancing over in his direction.

"I saw him on the way in," I nodded. "He's good to have around, especially in these kinds of situations."

Alice glanced past me with a smirk on her face. "You're certainly popular tonight."

"Bella!"

I turned to find Rosalie hurrying through the crowd, dragging Emmett behind her. She looked absolutely radiant, if it were possible for Rosalie to look even more exquisite than her everyday appearance. Her long strapless dress flowed around her in ribbons of fabric as she floated through the dense crowd. Surprise hit me as she reached me and pulled me into a tight hug.

"I was so glad when Alice told me you were coming," she stepped back from me, beaming as Emmett placed his arm around her waist.

"Thank you for inviting me," I smiled at her. "And congratulations again."

"Thanks, Bella," Emmett winked at me.

"You both need a drink," Rosalie announced.

As if anticipating her demands, a waiter suddenly appeared behind her balancing a silver tray with tall glasses of sparkling champagne. Rosalie grasped two and handed one to both me and Alice.

"Enjoy ladies," Rosalie dismissed herself as she grasped Emmett's hand and escorted him through the crowd once again.

I glanced over at Alice. "You did a great job. She looks stunning."

"I'm flattered you think I was responsible for any of this," Alice teased.

"Oh, right," I exchanged a knowing glance with her. "How did the ceremony go?"

"It was very nice," Alice stated. "Small, intimate, just the immediate family. Quite the opposite of her last wedding."

I took a sip of the champagne. "Small and intimate is not what I would have pictured Rosalie choosing."

"I was grateful for it, believe me," Alice gave me an exasperated look. "Last time she nearly shut down the entire city of Paris."

"That sounds about right," I nodded. "Who knows, maybe next time she'll-"

"Don't even tease, Bella," Alice cut me off. "Anyway, I'm being a terrible hostess. Can I get you something to eat?"

"Oh," I fidgeted with my glass. "Don't bother if it's just for me."

"Well, you're the only human we invited, Bella." She glanced around us and I noted the lack of wait staff circulating the crowd with trays of appetizers. "We didn't really plan on needing finger foods, if you know what I mean..."

I chuckled. "Good point."

"Stay here," Alice instructed me. "I'll be right back."

She was gone before I could protest. Alone with my thoughts, I took in the subdued atmosphere of the scene before me as I sipped my champagne. Well-dressed couples waltzed slowly to the music being played by an eloquent string quartet that floated over the backyard and drifted up to the treetops. As I glanced around at the dozens of sculpted faces, I found myself wondering where they had traveled from. What time period had they been born in, and what type of lifestyle had they led before they became vampires. I was in a unique situation, being a mere mortal human while knowing as much as I did about their kind. I felt as though I had become a silent spectator of the remarkable scene laid out before me, as few of them bothered to pay me any attention. The current melody being played ended, and the couples on the dance floor halted their dancing to politely applaud. As the next song began, I wondered what was keeping Alice.

"May I have this dance?"

My heart skipped a beat as I recognized the voice behind me, his familiar delicious scent over my right shoulder. As I slowly turned, I knew the beautiful face I would encounter and I braced myself for my reaction. I held my breath as my eyes focused on someone I had convinced myself that I would never see again. Time seemed to stand still as the months that we had been apart dissolved before me, and my heart began to beat fast in my chest as his very presence once again warmed my heart.

"Yes Edward," I whispered. "I'd love to."

* * *

I promise I won't leave everyone hanging for another 2 years! I'm working on the next chapter right now! XOXO


	14. Revelations

_I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! :)_

**14. REVELATIONS**

I took in Edward's presence as he stood before me with his hand outstretched, palm up to take mine. He was dressed in a crisp black tuxedo contrasting his skin that remained the color of ivory granite. A single red rose was pinned to his lapel. His reserved demeanor and casual elegance calmed my trembling nerves, and I smiled shyly as I placed my hand in his. I allowed him to lead me to the wooden dance floor, passing surprised stares and curious gazes from the other guests. I blushed, feeling the old familiar sense of being the only one in a vast crowd that captured Edward's attention. When we reached the center of the dance floor, I couldn't help the way my body stiffened as he suddenly turned to face me again, placing his hand on the small of my back while his other hand still held mine. He hesitantly pulled me closer to him and we began to sway to the gentle music. I felt myself shiver, from his close presence or how freezing cold his skin was, I wasn't sure. I remembered how I used to be comfortable with Edward's body temperature, but now that I was with Jacob…

"It's nice to see you again, Bella," Edward's angelic voice cut into my thoughts. "You look absolutely radiant tonight."

I smiled politely. "Thank you, Edward. You look very nice as well."

"Alice informed me that you had accepted Rosalie's invitation," he continued his casual greeting. "It's very kind of you to celebrate this occasion with us."

I glanced back up at him, remembering how formal he always was. "I wouldn't have missed it." With my heart still racing, I averted my eyes from his face again and focused on the rest of the crowd, waiting for my anxiety to cease.

Edward seemed to relax a little. "I'm sure Alice was pleased as well."

I nodded, then raised an eyebrow. "And you?"

Edward chuckled. "Yes, Bella. Your presence only added to my anticipation of this evening."

I took my eyes away from his that seemed to search my face for more and watched the other couples brush past us. Looks were cast our way and whispers were being exchanged, but I knew I had little to fear in this crowd. Besides Jasper's influence, I knew that the nobility of the vampires present would never allow them such acts of public violence. Rosalie would have seen to that, if only to keep the attention on herself.

I was still fascinated by the scene in front of me, but I knew Edward was giving them no thought. I could also tell that his gaze never left my face, and his intense stare made me reluctant to look back at him. Besides the fact that the choice I made had been Jacob, the Edward I used to know seemed to have disappeared. Along with what Alice had told me, I sensed the more subtle changes in Edward. Changes that no one else would be able to notice. Edward's gentle touch with me was gone, replaced with a current need to hold me against him almost forcefully. Even as we swayed to the romantic music, I sensed my own hesitations towards the person who had now become a stranger to me. The way my heart sped up at the subtle shifts of Edward's hand was no longer due to excitement, but fear. How I found myself beginning to pull away from him when I used to want him as close to me as possible. My once obsessive infatuation with a vampire had now turned into the natural reaction I should have always felt towards him, unrelenting dread.

I was in danger. I shouldn't be here, I should never have come. The more unsettled I began to feel in Edward's arms, the more I began to realize my foolish decision. I took a few deep breaths to try to steady the furious pounding in my chest, since I knew Edward along with everyone else around me heard it. As if sensing my distress, the arm across my back relaxed. Feeling like I had room to breathe again, I silently thanked Jasper. The band finished playing their current song, pausing to thank the sounds of polite applause. A few couples near us vacated the dance floor and began to make their way back to their seats, leaving a smaller crowd along with Edward and I. I went to step back from him, but he held me fast, content on swaying me gently. Despite our lack of music, I followed his lead and soon another classical melody began.

"I trust that you've been well," Edward spoke above me, breaking the silence.

I allowed myself to glance up at him just as we danced past a few low-hung lanterns. As the light spilled across Edward's face, my heart nearly stopped as I gazed into his eyes. Eyes that matched the crimson red rose that was pinned on his jacket. I felt a chill creep up my back and I did my best not to stare in horror.

"Yes," I attempted to keep the trembling in my voice under control. "I'm doing alright. And yourself?"

Edward seemed to smirk, then glanced over his shoulder for a moment. He leaned a little closer to me and set his gaze back on my face. "I trust that Alice has made you aware of some of my recent, should I say, changes."

"She has," I shivered as his delicate breath tickled my face, and I forced back the flood of memories that pounded my brain with his intoxicating scent. "And I must say that I don't understand."

"What is there to not understand, Bella?" His expression didn't change.

"What's there to-" I snarled, keeping close to him and lowering my voice. "What I don't understand is what happened to you, Edward?"

"Only what was meant to happen, Bella." He seemed content to leave it at that.

I set my jaw, completely frustrated with him. There were so many questions I wanted to ask, and so many answers that I needed to hear, but I wasn't sure if I even had the right to know anymore. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, choosing the easier questions first.

"Where have you been?" I whispered.

"Where have I been?" Edward repeated.

"After the last time I saw you… on the road," I stared deep into his eyes, ignoring the tremors of fear that crept up my spine. "Where did you go?"

For a moment, I thought I saw a glint of the Edward I used to know flash in his eyes. The fixed expression faltered and I was reminded of the warm pools of liquid gold that I could stare into for hours, his last remaining human trait. It was only for a moment, and then it was gone. Edward's eyes were lifeless again, his stare cold like his skin.

"I left Forks, Bella," he explained to me. "I'm now living in Denali, Alaska."

"Denali," I repeated, remembering back to important aspects of the Cullen's history. Aspects that I had once been curious to learn about.

"Yes," Edward continued, "with the other coven of vampires like us."

The pieces began to come together slowly in my mind as he watched my expression carefully. I could tell there were details he was keeping from me, and even as the creature in front of me was becoming less and less recognizable, I still knew too much about his past.

I leaned closer to him again. "Those vampires aren't like you."

Edward knitted his brow.

"They're like your family, but they're not like you. At least, not anymore."

We continued to sway back and forth, and Edward's lips formed a tiny smile as he realized what I understood. "No, Bella," he smirked. "You're right. I guess they're not like me. Or maybe I should say that I'm not like them."

I swallowed, willing my hands to stop shaking even though I knew Edward noticed. "I thought they were civilized vampires," I whispered. "And they wouldn't put up with your sort of… lifestyle."

Edward sneered as he discreetly glanced over his shoulder. He turned his gaze back at me, a mixture of hesitation and vindication on his face. "Let's just say they were persuaded."

I narrowed my eyes at him, becoming increasingly aggravated with his way of being so indirect. Edward must have understood my body language, because he gently turned me in the direction he had just been looking at over his shoulder. Curiosity getting the better of me, I tore my eyes from his and scanned the crowd for my answer.

A pair of amber eyes caught mine from across the backyard, and I wouldn't have given them another thought except for the icy chill she caused to tremble down my spine. The vampire stood on the perimeter of the dance floor glaring at me with a look of sheer hatred. A few couples would sway in my path, momentarily breaking my view of her beautiful face, but her glare never faltered. I knew Edward was the only one who could actually read her thoughts, but I didn't have to as the rage boiled in her eyes, her fists clenched in her seething anger. I ripped my eyes from hers feeling a little breathless, and Edward spun me in the opposite direction, away from the chilling stare. I collected my thoughts, remembering the clan of vampires what had stayed close with the Cullens. Remembered their history. Edward waited silently above me, and I eventually looked up at him.

"Tanya," I whispered coldly. "She's the one who convinced the others to let you stay."

Edward nodded, an almost compassionate look on his face.

I shook my head as everything came into focus. The icy stare, Edward's hesitation, and his connection with vampires who still believed everything he no longer did.

I gazed into Edward's crimson eyes. "She always loved you, didn't she?"

Edward seemed to pause, mulling over my statement. He even stole a glance at Tanya over my shoulder. "Yes," he looked back down at me. "I suppose she has."

For a moment, an old familiar feeling of jealousy made my skin ignite and there was a tightening in my chest. Beneath the hardened exterior, I knew Edward was there somewhere. My Edward, who had once held my heart hostage. The Edward who watched over me at night and wrote me songs, who left notes on my pillowcase and asked me to marry him. That Edward had once belonged to me. But not only did this Edward not belong to me anymore, but he no longer existed.

Edward reached up and took my left hand from his shoulder, momentarily breaking our dance. He studied my engagement ring for a moment, then placed my hand back where it had been, resuming our swaying.

"As for you, I suppose a congratulations are in order." He attempted a smile, but there was no emotion behind it.

"Thank you."

"I suppose he always loved you too," he looked into my eyes. "Didn't he?"

I nodded, unable to hide the warm smile that snuck across my lips. I wasn't ashamed to admit my feelings for Jacob, apparently now even to Edward, and it helped that I was aware that he had moved on as well. The evening breeze shifted, brushing my hair off my shoulders.

"Still keeps a watchful eye on you, does he?" Edward mused, attempting to hold back a grimace.

I paused, giving Edward a puzzled look.

He motioned towards the dark forest. "I'll never get used to that smell."

I nodded in acceptance, remembering Jacob's promise to patrol the woods near the wedding.

"As long as he takes care of you," pain flickered in Edward's eyes. "Then I'm happy for you both."

I smiled warmly, glad that we had gotten to a place where we could feel comfortable talking about each other's lives. "I'm happy for you too," I obliged him, the words still leaving a bitter taste in my mouth.

"Bella, don't be ridiculous," he brushed off my sentiment. "It's not like that."

My smile faded. "What do you mean?"

Edward raised an eyebrow. "You seriously think that I have the same feelings for Tanya?"

I was taken aback by his gruffness. "Well, you said that-"

"Any sort of relationship the two of us have is strictly for each other's own intentions," he seemed to go rigid in my arms. "It's not any sort of thing that a human would understand. I have my agenda, and she has hers. There's nothing more to it than that."

I slowly shook my head. "There are no feelings involved? Then what's the point?"

"I told you that you wouldn't understand," Edward looked past my shoulder again. "I get from her what I need, and apparently she gets what she needs."

We continued to sway in silence, Edward's words rattling around in my brain. A question forced its way to my lips, but I was afraid to utter it. Afraid of the question or afraid of the answer I wasn't sure, but eventually I realized I had nothing to lose. Whether I wanted to or not, I was slowly learning everything.

I took a deep breath. "So it's not like it was with me," I looked up and caught Edward's stare, "when we were together."

Again, I felt a slight shift in his demeanor. His hand rubbed my back gently and the immovable glare on his face softened.

"No," he whispered, his angelic voice soft. "Not when we were together. No agendas. No ulterior motives. Just us."

I nodded, hoping he realized I'd heard enough. I broke his gaze and glanced down at our moving feet and I was relieved to feel his hand tighten on my back again. When I glanced back up again, the rough exterior had returned.

"That was ages ago, when we were together…"

I was surprised to hear Edward continue.

"Another time. When everything was so different…"

I watched Edward almost look through me again, then he seemed to refocus his eyes on my face and his jaw tightened.

"But things have changed. I've changed. And there's no going back."

"So, she only gets part of you," I mumbled, thinking out-loud.

"Yes, you could put it that way," Edward mused.

"That's… sad," I whispered.

Edward grinned his crooked smile and leaned closer to me. "Well then, I guess that's enough for her."

I raised an eyebrow, feeling like that comment was aimed at me as well. "Guess we all do stupid things sometimes, especially when it comes to love," I whispered with spite.

"And as much as she may believe a different way than I do," Edward grinned at me. "She's certainly spending a lot of her time reconsidering her morals this evening."

I froze, understanding completely what he was hinting at. "That's not funny, Edward," I glared at him.

"Bella," he gently shook his head. "You really think that after all this time, I would allow someone else to destroy you?"

I smiled slightly, a little relieved that I still had no reason to fear him. As my heartbeat subsided, I noticed that Edward was still staring at me, the slightest smile on his lips. My blood ran cold as his previous words settled into my brain.

"Oh," I shivered a little, "you mean, _you_ would destroy me."

Edward shrugged. "I certainly wouldn't allow anyone else the pleasure."

I stood rigid, frozen in place as he reached up and curled a couple strands of my hair around his fingers. I couldn't tell if his threat had any credit behind it, but my heart still pounded in my chest as I watched him take another breath of my scent.

"You know, Bella… I've always been drawn to you, not matter how much I've tried to keep my distance."

I kept my stare on his face, his gaze looking through me as if in a trance-like state, memories of years past kept his attention as he continued to play with my hair. Edward then seemed to come out of his daydreams and let go of my hair, spinning me around to the music once more.

"Bella, relax. I would never partake in such activities at my own sister's wedding. That would be in quite poor taste."

"Excuse me, Edward," I snarled. "But I'm not so sure about your own morals anymore."

Just then the band's current song ended and again we broke apart, joining the other couples as they clapped politely while neither of us took our eyes off the other. I could see the anger churn in his stare at my previous accusation, and that this point I wanted nothing more to do with him. I turned to leave, but as another melody floated through the crowd, he wasted no time in grabbing my arm and pulling me to him once more.

"You did this to me," he spat as he forced my hand into his. "When you chose _him_, this is what happened."

"Don't you dare make this my fault," I snapped back, ignoring the few stares cast in our direction. "This was your decision. Your choice. To leave your family-"

"Don't bring my family into this Bella," Edward cut me off, fury in his eyes. "Don't you dare speak of my family like you're still a part of it, don't forget that you left us too."

My heart sank. "That is not fair," my stern voice wavered a little.

"Every decision has its consequences, Bella," he lectured me.

"You're right," I set my jaw. "Just as your decisions have their own as well."

Edward knitted his brow. "What are you saying?"

"I think you know exactly what I'm saying," I lowered my voice.

We remained this way for a moment, glaring at each other, neither of us bothering to begin dancing again. Edward's hand was still gripping tight to my upper arm.

I swallowed. "She never thought you would leave," I broke the silence, some of the acid gone from my voice.

Edward lifted his gaze above me and by the way his expression softened I was sure he caught Alice's stare from across the lawn. He seemed to relax in my arms, and after a moment he looked back down at me.

"You abandoned them," I glared at him, ignoring the fear that tightened my chest. "You left. That's all you know how to do is leave. And now you'll leave your new family to join those murderers in Volterra-"

Edward instantly yanked me to him, cutting me off with his unbelievable strength. "I wouldn't say such things Bella, keep in mind the company you're in," he snarled in my ear.

"Alice told me," I whispered, my voice barely audible as he held me against his chest. "Told me you plan on becoming a monster, just like them."

"They've done more for our kind than you can possibly imagine," Edward relaxed his intense grip on me. "Keep in mind my father was once part of the group you refer to as 'monsters'."

"Carlisle's your father now?"

"I cannot imagine what else I would refer to him as."

"I've never heard you refer to him as such," I eyed Edward suspiciously. "You had a real father once."

"Yes, I had a father that brought me into the world as it was then," he replied. "Just as Carlisle became my father when he brought me into the world as it is now. Carlisle taught me everything he had come to believe in, just as my father before him." Edward continued. "One must choose their own destiny when the time is right, Bella."

"And what does your father think of the life that you've now chose?" I pushed him.

"I would expect that he would want me to follow what I believe in. To do what I think is best," he replied with no feeling.

"Is that really how he feels?" I questioned him. "Or what you tell yourself he would say?"

Edward glared at me. "Like I said before," his words dripped with contempt, "every decision has its consequences. You wouldn't understand."

"Oh, that's right," I rolled my eyes. "I forgot, I'm just a silly human, I wouldn't understand such complicated ideals like compassion or a sense of moral decency…"

"Bella…" his tone warned me.

"Let alone the fact that you're attempting to justify abandonment by dressing it up as a fate that you cannot escape. That's not destiny, that's cowardice-"

"Bella, that is enough," he snarled through his teeth, his grip once again tight against my arm.

I chose to remain silent and studied his chiseled face, his features distorted as he glared at me. It was then that I realized how little he felt for me, how little he actually respected me, and how he only meant to control me. To control what I did, what I said, even what I thought. The person I was becoming had grown more aware of his dominance, and the more I rebelled against his will, the stronger he would fight to hold his ground.

"Edward," I swallowed, realizing that I had only one question left to ask. "…What have you been feeding on?"

The crooked smile returned to Edward's face, and I waited for him to answer me in his new witty, dry sense of humor.

"I don't think you want to know the answer to that question, Bella," he raised an eyebrow.

"Try me," I challenged him, thinking that perhaps he was right. Maybe I really didn't want to know.

Edward glanced past me at the crowd again, collecting his thoughts.

"I lived a certain way for a long time," he began. "A way that never seemed natural to me, but out of respect for those whom I cared very dearly for, I chose to comply."

I waited silently for him to continue.

"And, it's a funny thing…"

Edward smirked, and I knew there was no way I would find this as amusing as he did.

"It's remarkable how some things just naturally return to you, even after a great length of time. It's instinct."

My heart rate increased as he fixed his gaze on my face again.

"It was like handing a recovering alcoholic a glass of wine," he continued in his dramatic way. "And it seems that after such a long time of doing without… It just seemed to be better than I remembered."

"You are a monster," I snapped at him, unable to stop the words.

His gaze didn't shift, and he seemed to settle in perfectly fine to this new image. "If that's how you see me," he replied.

"I don't even know who you are anymore," I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. "I don't ever want to see you again."

"I think that would be best, Bella," he agreed with me.

"And stay away from my family."

He said nothing, but inclined his head.

I broke apart from him then, wrenching my arm out of his cold grasp.

Edward placed a hand over his silent heart. "It was lovely to see you again, Bella," he spoke above the crowd. "Thank you for sharing this beautiful evening with us."

My stomach twisted at his fake smile, and I couldn't bring myself to take part in the charades. I knew his warm departure only served to play to the small crowd around us. I turned my back to him and began to weave a path between the dancing couples away from his fake smile… Away from his blood-red eyes… Away from the creature he had sworn to me he'd never become. The low-hung lanterns warm light reflected off the cold ivory faces that continuously glanced my way and it began to make my head spin. I quickened my pace as I suddenly longed to escape to the cool quiet darkness. I broke through the crowd on the perimeter of the dance floor and stepped into the cool grass, feeling the color return to my cheeks.

"Bella!"

I cringed when I heard my name called behind me. Bracing myself to come up with a valid excuse for my abrupt departure, I froze as I turned and beheld the vampire that came to stand in front of me.

"Carlisle…"

"Please," the handsome doctor studied my face with what seemed to be compassion in his golden eyes, "don't allow his words to upset you."

I nodded in agreement, fighting back a few tears of frustration. "I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. Showing up like this, I shouldn't have expected a warm welcoming."

"Just the same…" Carlisle's voice was soothing, "it was very gracious of you to accept our invitation."

I fidgeted under his gaze. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything…"

"There is no need for you to apologize for anything, Bella,"

"I just can't help but feel responsible," I explained.

Carlisle came forward and placed a cold hand on my shoulder. "This is of no fault of yours, Bella," he explained. "It's out of your control… And at this point, it's out of mine as well."

My mind searched desperately to find words to comfort him, but I knew it to be in vain. A single question remained, and against my better judgment I forced myself to ask it. "H-How do you feel about all this?"

Carlisle seemed to choose his response carefully. "I raised them all based on my beliefs, but I also encouraged them to stand up for what they believe in, even if I don't necessarily agree. Edward's only doing what he feels is best."

I watched his pained expression. "But…"

"But…" he continued. "He's still my son."

I nodded in acceptance, my heart aching as I watched the natural human emotions play across Carlisle's ivory features.

He steeled himself and gave me a warm smile. "It's getting late, Bella."

"Yes", I agreed with him. "I should be going."

"It was lovely to see you again," Carlisle inclined his head politely. "I'll inform Esme that you have grown into a beautiful young woman." He then gracefully turned and disappeared into the crowd of wedding guests once again.


End file.
